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The_Face_of_Boo
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22 Mar 2019, 10:10 am

hurtloam wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
314pe wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
I have invited him to loads of things since. Are we there as friends or more though?

Hard to say. For example, a few years ago I was meeting with this girl and we would go for drinks or for dinner. I thought that we were dating and that I had some chance of it working out, but for her it was all just friendly activity. Later she explained how we could never be in a relationship. Anything can be considered as romantic or platonic so it's best to be explicit about it.


I was just reading an experience in L&D of a man who appreciates his now wife taking it slow in the beginning.

There's types of people who don't want to do the jump straight into dating thing. I guess I would rather put the time in with one of them, but I get these moments of self doubt.

I think I'd rather hold out for a laid back unusual type than a gregarious in your face rush into things guy.



You are not immortal, at your age it is better to fasten things a bit rather than wasting tons of time.


I don't want children though so feel no time pressure.

My aunt met her soul mate in her late 30s. One of my cousins was divorced twice by my age. Her Mum thinks ive got the better deal in life. My aunt's advice is wait for the right person


Be honest hurtloam, if this guy asked you out for a DATE on the 2nd week of knowing him....would you have said No just because he's not been friend long enough?



Fireblossom
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22 Mar 2019, 10:54 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Be honest hurtloam, if this guy asked you out for a DATE on the 2nd week of knowing him....would you have said No just because he's not been friend long enough?


Going on a date (or two or three) is not the same thing as dating though... I mean if a friend I trust would arrange me a blind date with a guy she/he thinks would be a good match for me then I'd go, but I would actually have to get to know the guy before agreeing to be in a relationship with him.

Not that you asked me, but I have a feeling hurtloam might have a similiar view on these things.



sly279
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22 Mar 2019, 1:04 pm

Fireblossom wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Be honest hurtloam, if this guy asked you out for a DATE on the 2nd week of knowing him....would you have said No just because he's not been friend long enough?


Going on a date (or two or three) is not the same thing as dating though... I mean if a friend I trust would arrange me a blind date with a guy she/he thinks would be a good match for me then I'd go, but I would actually have to get to know the guy before agreeing to be in a relationship with him.

Not that you asked me, but I have a feeling hurtloam might have a similiar view on these things.

Dating doesn’t mean relationship. Some people will date for months and. It be In a relationship or exclusive.
Until both people state they’re a couple they aren’t in a relationship. Dating just means you’re going on dates with someone or someones.
That’s why people say they’re dating but nothing serious.
I dated that one lady for month or two we weren’t in a relationship.
She just wanted free stuff.


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hurtloam
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22 Mar 2019, 1:26 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
314pe wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
I have invited him to loads of things since. Are we there as friends or more though?

Hard to say. For example, a few years ago I was meeting with this girl and we would go for drinks or for dinner. I thought that we were dating and that I had some chance of it working out, but for her it was all just friendly activity. Later she explained how we could never be in a relationship. Anything can be considered as romantic or platonic so it's best to be explicit about it.


I was just reading an experience in L&D of a man who appreciates his now wife taking it slow in the beginning.

There's types of people who don't want to do the jump straight into dating thing. I guess I would rather put the time in with one of them, but I get these moments of self doubt.

I think I'd rather hold out for a laid back unusual type than a gregarious in your face rush into things guy.



You are not immortal, at your age it is better to fasten things a bit rather than wasting tons of time.


I don't want children though so feel no time pressure.

My aunt met her soul mate in her late 30s. One of my cousins was divorced twice by my age. Her Mum thinks ive got the better deal in life. My aunt's advice is wait for the right person


Be honest hurtloam, if this guy asked you out for a DATE on the 2nd week of knowing him....would you have said No just because he's not been friend long enough?


Yes I would have. What's your point? He didn't.



hurtloam
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22 Mar 2019, 1:30 pm

sly279 wrote:
Fireblossom wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Be honest hurtloam, if this guy asked you out for a DATE on the 2nd week of knowing him....would you have said No just because he's not been friend long enough?


Going on a date (or two or three) is not the same thing as dating though... I mean if a friend I trust would arrange me a blind date with a guy she/he thinks would be a good match for me then I'd go, but I would actually have to get to know the guy before agreeing to be in a relationship with him.

Not that you asked me, but I have a feeling hurtloam might have a similiar view on these things.

Dating doesn’t mean relationship. Some people will date for months and. It be In a relationship or exclusive.
Until both people state they’re a couple they aren’t in a relationship. Dating just means you’re going on dates with someone or someones.
That’s why people say they’re dating but nothing serious.
I dated that one lady for month or two we weren’t in a relationship.
She just wanted free stuff.


Yeah. Sly is right. If he stated that it was a date the first time we went out together I would still be here wondering if it's serious.

I know he had a crush on me when we first knew each other. I don't know if he still does.



Fireblossom
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22 Mar 2019, 1:34 pm

sly279 wrote:
Fireblossom wrote:
Going on a date (or two or three) is not the same thing as dating though... I mean if a friend I trust would arrange me a blind date with a guy she/he thinks would be a good match for me then I'd go, but I would actually have to get to know the guy before agreeing to be in a relationship with him.

Not that you asked me, but I have a feeling hurtloam might have a similiar view on these things.


Dating doesn’t mean relationship. Some people will date for months and. It be In a relationship or exclusive.
Until both people state they’re a couple they aren’t in a relationship. Dating just means you’re going on dates with someone or someones.
That’s why people say they’re dating but nothing serious.
I dated that one lady for month or two we weren’t in a relationship.
She just wanted free stuff.


Hmm really? Well, I'll take your word for it since you're a native English speaker and I'm not... and hurtloam is too (right?) so that settles it. I thought it was a synonym for being in a relationship. Gosh, I need to keep this one in mind just in case.

I suppose my culture doesn't have what Americans call "dating", then. Not as far as I know, at least... or maybe it's just that the people I know are more on the serious side when it comes to relationships.



hurtloam
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22 Mar 2019, 1:37 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
314pe wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
I have invited him to loads of things since. Are we there as friends or more though?

Hard to say. For example, a few years ago I was meeting with this girl and we would go for drinks or for dinner. I thought that we were dating and that I had some chance of it working out, but for her it was all just friendly activity. Later she explained how we could never be in a relationship. Anything can be considered as romantic or platonic so it's best to be explicit about it.


I was just reading an experience in L&D of a man who appreciates his now wife taking it slow in the beginning.

There's types of people who don't want to do the jump straight into dating thing. I guess I would rather put the time in with one of them, but I get these moments of self doubt.

I think I'd rather hold out for a laid back unusual type than a gregarious in your face rush into things guy.



You are not immortal, at your age it is better to fasten things a bit rather than wasting tons of time.

That only matters if she's looking to have children though.


Still, that doesn't make her immortal.


I am Highlander.



hurtloam
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22 Mar 2019, 1:40 pm

Fireblossom wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Fireblossom wrote:
Going on a date (or two or three) is not the same thing as dating though... I mean if a friend I trust would arrange me a blind date with a guy she/he thinks would be a good match for me then I'd go, but I would actually have to get to know the guy before agreeing to be in a relationship with him.

Not that you asked me, but I have a feeling hurtloam might have a similiar view on these things.


Dating doesn’t mean relationship. Some people will date for months and. It be In a relationship or exclusive.
Until both people state they’re a couple they aren’t in a relationship. Dating just means you’re going on dates with someone or someones.
That’s why people say they’re dating but nothing serious.
I dated that one lady for month or two we weren’t in a relationship.
She just wanted free stuff.


Hmm really? Well, I'll take your word for it since you're a native English speaker and I'm not... and hurtloam is too (right?) so that settles it. I thought it was a synonym for being in a relationship. Gosh, I need to keep this one in mind just in case.

I suppose my culture doesn't have what Americans call "dating", then. Not as far as I know, at least... or maybe it's just that the people I know are more on the serious side when it comes to relationships.


What is your culture if I may ask?



Fireblossom
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22 Mar 2019, 1:46 pm

hurtloam wrote:
Fireblossom wrote:
Hmm really? Well, I'll take your word for it since you're a native English speaker and I'm not... and hurtloam is too (right?) so that settles it. I thought it was a synonym for being in a relationship. Gosh, I need to keep this one in mind just in case.

I suppose my culture doesn't have what Americans call "dating", then. Not as far as I know, at least... or maybe it's just that the people I know are more on the serious side when it comes to relationships.


What is your culture if I may ask?


I'm from Finland.



hurtloam
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22 Mar 2019, 5:03 pm

Map84 wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Fireblossom wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Ok, some have partnered up in the past, but I have this core group of undatable women who I hang out with.


I'm curious to know what makes these friends of yours undatable.


I'm not really sure. One is very, very shy. One was always a bit odd when she was younger, but I think either her social skills have improved or I've just got used to her, but she's old and plump now, so has that against her.

4 are quite posh and regular guys don't like posh birds, as far as I gather, they talk very eloquently and dont use slang. Very exact ladies. They're right proper spinsters. Though 1 is a bit more fun and more youthful, but maybe too much so and not taken seriously by men. Tallness doesn't help either. Guys don't want someone taller than them. The shorter ones are verging on fat.

In all the time we've hung around together as a group of friends (at least 10 years) only 1 has ever been seeing someone, which didn't last long.

They're all lovely friends though.


I'm laughing so much at the 'posh birds'! None of those reasons make someone undatable I don't think. Me and the guys I am friends with rarely date anyone, I can't say why, ladies seem to always end up with the other guys, I suspect, like my little group of gents, your ladies are closed off, more the type to wait for mr right than the hmmm...tinder type. Nothing wrong with that though :)


Seriously though, would you or your mates wang to go out with Mirand Hart or Phoebe Waller-Bridge?



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22 Mar 2019, 5:06 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I wouldn't want to date a "Tinder" type.


Nor me, but if you're a woman on WP you're not allowed to talk about feeling lonely unless you've tried Tinder and gone on at least 50 dates with every guy you match with :roll: I don't have the energy to waste on meeting just faces I see on an app.



The_Face_of_Boo
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22 Mar 2019, 6:20 pm

hurtloam wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
314pe wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
I have invited him to loads of things since. Are we there as friends or more though?

Hard to say. For example, a few years ago I was meeting with this girl and we would go for drinks or for dinner. I thought that we were dating and that I had some chance of it working out, but for her it was all just friendly activity. Later she explained how we could never be in a relationship. Anything can be considered as romantic or platonic so it's best to be explicit about it.


I was just reading an experience in L&D of a man who appreciates his now wife taking it slow in the beginning.

There's types of people who don't want to do the jump straight into dating thing. I guess I would rather put the time in with one of them, but I get these moments of self doubt.

I think I'd rather hold out for a laid back unusual type than a gregarious in your face rush into things guy.



You are not immortal, at your age it is better to fasten things a bit rather than wasting tons of time.

That only matters if she's looking to have children though.


Still, that doesn't make her immortal.


I am Highlander.




O f**k, watch for your necks fellas!



Map84
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22 Mar 2019, 7:15 pm

hurtloam wrote:
Map84 wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Fireblossom wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Ok, some have partnered up in the past, but I have this core group of undatable women who I hang out with.


I'm curious to know what makes these friends of yours undatable.


I'm not really sure. One is very, very shy. One was always a bit odd when she was younger, but I think either her social skills have improved or I've just got used to her, but she's old and plump now, so has that against her.

4 are quite posh and regular guys don't like posh birds, as far as I gather, they talk very eloquently and dont use slang. Very exact ladies. They're right proper spinsters. Though 1 is a bit more fun and more youthful, but maybe too much so and not taken seriously by men. Tallness doesn't help either. Guys don't want someone taller than them. The shorter ones are verging on fat.

In all the time we've hung around together as a group of friends (at least 10 years) only 1 has ever been seeing someone, which didn't last long.

They're all lovely friends though.


I'm laughing so much at the 'posh birds'! None of those reasons make someone undatable I don't think. Me and the guys I am friends with rarely date anyone, I can't say why, ladies seem to always end up with the other guys, I suspect, like my little group of gents, your ladies are closed off, more the type to wait for mr right than the hmmm...tinder type. Nothing wrong with that though :)


Seriously though, would you or your mates wang to go out with Mirand Hart or Phoebe Waller-Bridge?


If her looks appeal and we get on well/"click", sure.

P.s. I wasn't advising the use of tinder just to be clear...can't stand the thought!


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sly279
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22 Mar 2019, 10:51 pm

hurtloam wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
I wouldn't want to date a "Tinder" type.


Nor me, but if you're a woman on WP you're not allowed to talk about feeling lonely unless you've tried Tinder and gone on at least 50 dates with every guy you match with :roll: I don't have the energy to waste on meeting just faces I see on an app.

You read their profile after then message them fire while before meeting then go on few dates or more before relationship.
Everyone’s allow d to talk about their feelings here I hope.
Hope you aren’t upset at me.


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hurtloam
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22 Mar 2019, 11:16 pm

sly279 wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
I wouldn't want to date a "Tinder" type.


Nor me, but if you're a woman on WP you're not allowed to talk about feeling lonely unless you've tried Tinder and gone on at least 50 dates with every guy you match with :roll: I don't have the energy to waste on meeting just faces I see on an app.

You read their profile after then message them fire while before meeting then go on few dates or more before relationship.
Everyone’s allow d to talk about their feelings here I hope.
Hope you aren’t upset at me.

No of course not. You've been helpful in explaining how to define dating.



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23 Mar 2019, 5:58 am

Ugh! I'm fooling myself. He's not interested.

No 0ne ever is.