In a downward spiral

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Joined: 2 Jul 2004
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17 Aug 2008, 11:08 pm

I am worried that I will never be able to patch things up with my friend. There are so many things I need to get off my chest.

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i_Am_andaJoy
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18 Aug 2008, 12:18 pm

spudnik wrote:

Excess me guy or girl eating a teddy bear, you completely missed the point of what I said. Tim needs some answers, not a bunch of pointless and meaningless platitudes. In my experience people who commit suicide don't tell anyone, people who do talk, want help. I like Tim and I don't want to see him like this, he needs to get off the computer and chill out, because it's not healthy for him.

ok potato of jesus dude, what the heck does "excess me" mean? i am SO not going to obey your odd command. and no, you are incorrect i did not completely miss the point. i can take issue with the technical wrongness of what you say and still be completely capable of surmising what you MEANT.

of COURSE tim needs to get off the computer and chill out. of COURSE he doesn't need meaningless platitudes. that he wants help and is trying to get it, is a good thing.

(and just in case you miss MY point, there is no need to instruct me that you were saying "excuse me" in a sarcastic voice. yeah dude. i got that. hence the whole-- i can understand what you mean but it's still wrong thing.)

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spudnik
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18 Aug 2008, 1:19 pm

EXCUSE MOI! What part of those simple words don't understand, you got a problem with what I said take it to the mods. You seem to have gotten your panties in a knot.

i_Am_andaJoy
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18 Aug 2008, 2:11 pm

spudnik wrote:

EXCUSE MOI! What part of those simple words don't understand,

well i don't know. first, i am not sure i accept the idea of words having consciousness, and even if i did, i certainly don't know where the brain or soul goes... is it in the vowels? is each letter a distinct intelligence? maybe they are just not bilingual, and the french and the english misunderstand each other. hmmm... so i don't know what part of the simple Words prevent them from understanding, but i do feel bad for them. poor little simpletons.

oh, and again, to answer the intent behind your muddled question-- none. i am not confused. there is nothing, no part, of your simple words that i do not understand. panties in a knot? don't be silly. dancing circles around someone is highly inadvisable when one has a wedgie. i am aware of the rules of basic panty-safety.

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Tim_Tex
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18 Aug 2008, 3:28 pm

I'm worried that my friend is actually afraid of me now.

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i_Am_andaJoy
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18 Aug 2008, 3:58 pm

Tim_Tex wrote:

I'm worried that my friend is actually afraid of me now.

why? because you are so focued about this? afraid, like she thinks you are creepy, or did something more specific happen?

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18 Aug 2008, 4:10 pm

I try to contact her, but it sometimes takes her quite a while to reply. Sometimes I get a reply within a couple of days, but usually not.

That's what has me so upset. I do want to communicate and tell her how I feel. I understand that I can only be friends with her, and I do want to be able to directly tell her how I feel about things. But when it takes her so long to reply, that's when I ask for advice on WP or elsewhere.

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zen_mistress
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18 Aug 2008, 4:12 pm

I think perhaps you could move to a geographical location where there are more liberal people. That would increase your dating pool a bit.

Also, the 5 years and no sex girl... well she sounds a bit asexual to me. But maybe Im wrong. I wouldnt beat yourself up about past women.

And definitely dont try and live a certain life to please your parents.... have you ever thought of what you want out of life?

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Taking a break.

i_Am_andaJoy
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18 Aug 2008, 4:26 pm

Tim_Tex wrote:

are you calling or emailing? seems like email would be a good way to explain yourself.

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18 Aug 2008, 4:30 pm

E-mail has always been the main form of communication. I just want the friendship to be the way it was at the beginning.

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i_Am_andaJoy
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18 Aug 2008, 4:36 pm

Tim_Tex wrote:

E-mail has always been the main form of communication. I just want the friendship to be the way it was at the beginning.

sadly, that may not happen. and hard as it is to leave it alone, the situation/relationship would probably be helped most by a little space.

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Tim_Tex
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18 Aug 2008, 4:39 pm

i_Am_andaJoy wrote:

Tim_Tex wrote:

E-mail has always been the main form of communication. I just want the friendship to be the way it was at the beginning.

sadly, that may not happen. and hard as it is to leave it alone, the situation/relationship would probably be helped most by a little space.

I got a reply just a few minutes ago.

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CelticRose
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18 Aug 2008, 8:41 pm

Tim_Tex wrote:

i_Am_andaJoy wrote:

Tim_Tex wrote:

E-mail has always been the main form of communication. I just want the friendship to be the way it was at the beginning.

sadly, that may not happen. and hard as it is to leave it alone, the situation/relationship would probably be helped most by a little space.

I won't even get an explanation.

What if she saw what I posted on here, and it scared her off? I am worried about that.

What if she thinks I am a sex-crazed lunatic because of what I posted about my ex?

I clearly cannot make somebody reply to me sooner, so what else was I supposed to do?

I sent her an e-mail Saturday, but no reply.

Unfortunately, Tim, you may not get the closure you're seeking. You may just have to accept that, as difficult as it is. As you just said, you can't make someone reply to you.

You haven't said anything to make her think you're a sex-crazed lunatic. After all, you waited 3 years with your ex. Many people would want to get married before that. 5 years is a rather abitrary number.

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18 Aug 2008, 8:42 pm

Tim_Tex wrote:

i_Am_andaJoy wrote:

Tim_Tex wrote:

E-mail has always been the main form of communication. I just want the friendship to be the way it was at the beginning.

sadly, that may not happen. and hard as it is to leave it alone, the situation/relationship would probably be helped most by a little space.

I got a reply just a few minutes ago.

Really??! !!

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18 Aug 2008, 9:46 pm

DentArthurDent wrote:

Tim, things will get better, they always do if you let them. Heck I have been through some shocking periods in my life, even gone scouting for good trees to throw the noose over. Right now my life is good and so will yours be. You have to realise that you are under a great deal of stress right now student, change of course, low income, aspie, still not over your past relationship. Stop beating yourself up, I have read some of your post and you are an awesome guy. NT is not a DX for lying and cheating, be open to whoever comes along. Your aversion to a neuro typical partner may not be a good thing, think about it if you find someone who is NT you can educate them about your AS behaviour and this will help them tolerate and work with your particular AS symptoms, on the other hand you go out with an aspie the potential for confusion and misunderstanding could be catastrophic.
Porn - hey if it helps you get through right now why not. But if your going to feel guilty about it afterwards best leave it.

Try to look at things in bite sized pieces, if you look at all your issues as one it will overwhelm you.

Enjoy your new course sounds far more interesting than looking at rocks :wink:

Agreed, aspie and aspie relationship can go "boom !" at any moment really. No, better to find someone that you can teach.

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18 Aug 2008, 10:23 pm

Uhm, hi. Coming from no-one (that would be me) this may not be so helpful, I don't know anything about you but I am probably familiar with some of what your going through. My situation, and thoughts of late have been similar. I'm in no real position to provide support but, you're not alone. And, more than that, you mean something to people here. I've seen some of your posts and the replies. You've been supportive of people who need it. People like you. That means something.

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