I'm not doing so good.

Post Reply New Topic

What do I want? What do you mean?


Well, right now I want to leave again. Jack and I both made the mistake of letting him cry when he started crying last night and he cried for a long time. Jack fed him and changed him and walked around with him, and I turned on the light and the TV in case he needed stimulation, but he still cried and then we just ignored him. I also picked him up the wrong way and Jack got mad at me. I can't stand having people mad at me, even though I deserve it. I hate deserving it., so I'll jsut have to leave so that I don't make any more mistakes and have someone get mad at me.

OY!! !
I'm sure he wasn't mad at you.
There is just a certain way that you have to hold a baby. They have no neck strength, so you need to hold the neck straight.

When your son cries, you SHOULD get up, and look at him and see what he needs. It could be as easy as a clean diaper or just needs to be held.

If you think you may be mad or about to shake him, just stop!! ! Count to 10. And then pick him up. You can be a good mom.

Post-natal (or partum) depression is your first stop. You have it, you need to see someone about it, before it gets out of hand. Simple as that.

For better or worse, you have a child, and that is something that will be with you forever. There is only one thing to do, and that is learn how to be a parent. Changing nappies, feeding, holding.. these are all things that can be learned, need to be learned. They are just physical activities, and no major drain on an adults physical resources, but to the child they are its existence. They are all need-to-know things, and all readily learnable. Google it, take classes, even get other mothers to show you.

Also.. things change. When my first son was born, it really did feel like I would never get to sleep ever again. A decade later, that is such a non-issue. He went from this mewling bag of noise to an articulate individual with more intelligence in him than many of my contemporaries. He was, as a baby, an awkward annoying sh*****g puking unsleeping nightmare. But that changed. (Apart from the sleeping. He still never does.)

Ana, you should take care of your baby ...if you feel that you're not up to then let better parents to adopt him.

Whenever Jack gave me this Russian drug he ordered celled phenibut, it made me feel so much better, and now today I took some and it made me feel up to it. Tomorrow it will wear off and I'll feel miserable again, but now I feel up to it for once. Jack says I can take more, every day (but a smaller amount, or it doesn't work) but since it's a smaller amount, will it work enough? We'll see.

Make sure you know exactly what you are taking
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phenibut

A baby that young does not need stimulation. Some people theorize that the first 3 months of a baby's life are the "fourth trimester." He needs to be held as much as possible, kept close as much as possible, feel warmth, skin, hear a heartbeat. It's ok to let him cry a little to see if he'll go to sleep, some babies are just fussy that way, but never let him cry more than 5 minutes. I have a moby wrap that I wrap my baby up in... it sort of simulates a womb:

http://www.mobywrap.com/

Lie in bed with your baby, let him lie on your chest while you relax.

Don't let people feed you meds unless you are fully informed... take it easy, take care of yourself, you just had a baby! You should be lying around in bed bonding and "babymooning" if you feel like it, especially if you are stressed. Get as much sleep as you possibly can, and don't beat yourself up over what happened in the hospital. Just hold him close now and know everything will be ok, you're a mommy now and Finnegan needs you!!

Hi Anna and congraltulations!! ! (I missed the news of the arrival of your son)

I agree totally with Apatura.

I think Shiela (who is not on the spectrum) didn't let B1 or B2 out for her sight until they were at least 2 years old. I think wanting to be near your newborn is a very normal desire. But I don't know if that's a good thing or not. Lots of mothers have to work and use child care from a very early age, so that's normal too. But I do know you have to look after yourself. You can't look after Finn/Lars if you don't look after yourself.

Look after yourself (I like you)

Holding him and that ARE forms of stimulation. But I think I get what Apatura said.


We sometimes lie on the bed with him and watch TV... it's nice.

Okay, we were doing very well for a while. I enjoy feeding Finnegan, I enjoy walking around with him until he stops crying, I even enjoy changing his sh***y diapers. But something happened today that makes me angry. Jack's mother fed him too much this morning, probably focing him to take it, and he spit up a lot, and so we didn't feed him for a while but then he got upset and changing him, bathing him and walking around with him or playing with him didn't console him. Me and Jack began to suspect that he was hungry again (we assumed that he had spat up just enough to make him not hungry but not too full.) But what we didn't realize was that the time had gone by faster than we thought, and he was hungry again. So Jack's mother comes in as I'm trying to comfort him by walking around with him and she asks what I did now to make him so mad. She told me off for "just looking at him while he cried and holding his pacifier and doing nothing else and not trying to figure out what he needed". That wasn't what happened. What we did was just as bad-- me and Jack not believing that he was hungry and Jack giving up and going outside to have a cigarette-- but it bothers me that someone is mad at me for something I didn't actually do.


I thought we were becoming good parents, but we're still bad parents. I still have a bit of an attention problem and Jack doesn't know what to do sometimes.


I even thought we had a talent for it for a while. But we make up for it with stupid mistakes.

Your getting better!! !! !!
It's (pardon the pun) baby steps.


it's getting easier, isn't it?

YES babies do have weird eating habits, you'll get the swing of them soon enough.

He's not mad at you, or he'd be mad at himself for being the same way.

His mother needs to back off, to be brutally honest. He's not HER baby. He's YOURS and HIS. It's up to you two to decide what he wants and when he wants it.

You said what I was afraid to say

I agree with you 100% LadyMacbeth!! !

They both need to step up.