Im in so much emotional and existential pain/noone will help

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nightbender - That you are trying, very hard, is really apparent! And this may a good indicator that you'll make it through this slump. Of course, I cannot know what's wrong....but seems as if you're describing some real physical/neurological problems. A medical doctor ought to be able to really make a difference. Probably just dietary supplements, etc won't do the trick here.

For me, explaining what is wrong is the hardest part - I have few emotions and just don't communicate in this way. From what you've written you do seem to have similar difficulties but do better in explaining the 'hows' and 'whys' of what's wrong. Maybe when you have a next appointment you could print what you wrote here - do you think?

You are articulate and express yourself well. Personally, I think you're doing well, given that you're feeling painfully miserable. I've had times when I've felt so badly I wished I were dead - really. Being on the Autistic spectrum takes a lot of fortitude. Hope you feel better - and you will. In fact, from the beginning of thread, you already seem to be better. jennyishere seems like a good friend too.

Someone told me once, when I was feeling horrid (Lab Pet is meltdown prone too....sigh) to be good to myself. This really never occured to me, but I think this applies. Do you have something really special you like to do? Like read a favorite type of book? Like movies? Making something, like a project? Going for long walks? Skydiving (ok, just kidding)? But pamper yourself some - buy a nice shirt or an ice cream. I tend to be quite solitary but sometimes just going someplace public, like a local coffee shop, can help.

LabPet, I agree strongly with your advice to Nightbender about being kind to himself. He sounds like he needs a lot more pampering in his life. I know that when I'm feeling stressed, just taking a break to have a nice cup of coffee and read something interesting takes my mind off things and lifts my mood. Sitting in a coffee shop and watching the world go by can be very therapeutic. (Hmmm, time for a coffee now, I think.)

By the way, LabPet, I know you've mentioned your relative lack of emotions, but I've noticed that you often give good emotional support to people here on WP. You're certainly not lacking in empathy.

You have a lot of interests, Nightbender. I'm more of a language/humanities person, but I'm generally interested in a lot of things. And it's hard not to like animals and nature. Do you know much about Australian animals? If you're American (and I'm only guessing that you are) you probably don't.

i know koalas wombats kangaroos tasmanian devils
australia has some of the most venomous snakes scorpions on the planet as well the box jelly fish
and a little posionous octopus.

yes im american

Well, you know more than a lot of Americans, anyway- most I've met don't mention wombats or the blue-ringed octopus. Some Australians love telling foreigners fibs about our wildlife- they say that we ride kangaroos to work or that there is a ferocious animal called the "drop-bear" that drops from trees and rips your head off. Yes, Australia has a reputation for its venomous wildlife. It's true that I could go out into my backyard and probably find a venomous spider fairly easily, but I've never been bitten by one. Most Australians live in cities and suburbs and only see larger animals when they go on vacation.

I'm interested in the English language and linguistics and I can also speak Indonesian. I'm interested in most things to do with history and culture as well. I'm generally interested in people and how they live.

^ Porcupines are amongst my favorite of Alaskan animals - they sway in the trees and are winter-hardy too. Although gentle and shy, if need be than can take down even a bear with their formidable quills in defense. Alaska is quite remote and I'm from the Interior where we share the terrain with wildlife. Porcupines are uniformly born right about May 15th, all having the same birthday.

I've never been to Australia but the wildlife is most intriguing. Sometimes imagining other things makes one feel better! Animals make me feel happy (& I do have that emotion ) - I have to hold the cursor over emoticon to 'know' what the emotion is!

I live in the suburbs but some animals that I can see in my backyard any day of the week are brushtail and ringtail possums, rainbow lorikeets, tawny frogmouths and also lots of other birds. Here's a (large) picture of a common brushtail possum. It's a nocturnal marsupial that is very common in most Australian suburban areas. They can be a pest, though, because they like to shelter inside nice, warm roofs and they enjoy eating the fruit from your trees and nibbling the buds off your rosebushes. They also make loud growling, hissing and rattling noises during the night and thump around on the roof when you're trying to sleep. I like to see them around, though. They're about the size of a large domestic cat and their fur is very soft. If they're attacked by a cat, and they sometimes are, a cat's scratch can easily give them a fatal infection. They can easily be tamed to feed from your hand, but it's not a good idea because it teaches them to be too dependent on human beings.

im also interested in history one of my favorite subjects, my favorite time period medieval europe bismarcks germany and fuedal japan.

im also interested in history one of my favorite subjects, my favorite time period medieval europe bismarcks germany and fuedal japan.

im also interested in history one of my favorite subjects, my favorite time period medieval europe bismarcks germany and fuedal japan.

im also interested in history one of my favorite subjects, my favorite time period medieval europe bismarcks germany and fuedal japan.

im home with my parents agains and already its starting to hurt again. though stepping out and taking naps helps

i did a check on this one doctor i wanted to see. bad reviews, overpriced quick to rush you through too many unnescary tests egotistiical pretends he is qualified to treat everything when he isnt, license revoked in another state.

Hi, Nightbender. I'm sorry I took a while to get back to you- I live in a different time zone from you, I'm afraid, so I was asleep when you posted a lot of your comments. It's 11am here and I now have a bit of time here at work to check your posts.

Do you usually feel worse when you're staying with your parents, or is it a coincidence? I hope you're feeling a bit better now. What have you been doing today?

I'm quite interested in history, too. I don't know much about feudal Japan, though. Why do you find that topic particularly interesting?