Is is true that Aspie people don't tell lies?

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When I was a kid my abuse was so bizarre nobody beleived me and I learned I had to lie and play it down to get any help. But I lied inconsistently so the help didn't last long.

I still lie (mostly cover up and omit) to professionals who are more interested in using the truth to incarcerate me than treat me as a human being instead of a label.

I have often lied to friends because my lifestyle was so alien to them, they didn't believe the truth, and I wanted to fit in. I had a big problem with being brutally honest about my own faults with a very slow capacity to follow through and correct them so I lost a lot of credibility there. And then my lies were inconsistent because I didn't understand their lifestyle either and I kept changing the facts trying to make it fit. So I ended up losing most of them anyway. A couple have stuck it out, the ones who could hear honesty and not get too upset about that. But I'm always holding my breath.

I found a church I really, really like. I started getting in trouble for my lack of social skills, even when I tried to stick to the truth, or maybe because of it. I wrote the pastor a long letter about what it's like to live with Aspergers and the social rejection. He turned around to total acceptance and the congregation followed suit. I'm not convinced that I can trust them to remember that more than temporarily. But I feel more relaxed, like I can be me more and not pretend so much I'm normal when I'm not sure I even want to be.

I may be on to something new here that could potentially work though.

Until very recently, my reason for my Aspies-only dating pool was that I had claimed that "Aspies don't lie or cheat". It was based on (1) if we find someone, we have this "better not screw this up" mindset because we don't know if anyone else would come our way should this one not work out, and (2) those that are monogamous couldn't handle multiple partners, given the need for "alone time".

But I had recently confessed that I am a Republican-voting Christian, after professing to be liberal/left-wing for three years prior to said admission (I had been truthful about being a Christian the whole time), because nearly everybody who had the same interests as me was liberal, save for two people I used to correspond with who have since abandoned me.

If I do lie or deceive someone I remember it forever or so it seems so far until I say something to them. I can't really lie to people at all. If I even speak of half-truth I feel a little bad for not speaking the whole truth.

Hello,

This is my 2nd attempt at my 1st post on this forum. My 1st went into the ether as I included a web page in it, which appears to be a no-no until you've been 'around' for a while. I will make it shorter and say more later if I can re-ignite interest in this thread, which is seriously at the heart of my 'problems' in life.

I'm in my late 40's and was 'tagged' as Aspergers by a psychologist who I'm saw a few times in relation to problems where I was working. His call that I should simply give up and 'play the politics' was poor and ill-informed. He'd dealt with teenagers with the condition, but as somebody who'd struggled with their life because I couldn't (and mostly wouldn't) tell a lie for decades, such a simple solution was impalatable. To cut the story short, I ended up resigning and threw away my career and effectively my life.

My take on honesty is a simple one. An honest person is just trying to live in the real world. I am fairly articulate, and I wouldn't past judgements on issues that are subjective, eg somebody's dress sense (I'm colour defective, so I don't make any calls on issues that deal with colours anyway). However if I believe in it strongly, I'd offer comments in a hopefully constructive way. In fact personally I don't like compliments because most of them have ended up as a being hollow, nor do I like undeserved criticism ( I can accept criticism when I deserve it); my favourite form of feed-back is constructive criticism. If you honestly feel about something, you've just got to go with it. I've got my failings and I begrudgingly accept them, the disappointing thing is that my strengths were brutally put down by my former colleagues. My honest calls about issues that I dealt with, were overwhelmingly correct but got me offside with everybody.

There is a page on the web that is a very thoughtful piece about this issue and is called 'I cannot tell a lie' by Simon Baron Cohen. I can't see any reference to it here on what is clearly an extensively used resource. I cannot link to it because of the restrictions I presently have, being so new to this forum, however if you google I cannot tell a lie and Cohen you should be able to see a link that involves a website site called 'Incharacter' which contains the piece. It was 2nd on the list I got when doing so.

I'd be interested in hearing views on it, especially in relation to living in the 'real world'. With the name of this website as being 'wrongplanet' I could easily go with 'realworld'. I compliment all of you who are indeed honest and trying to live in this world, I honestly believe that a major reason why the world is failing apart these days is because everybody is living in their own worlds, which is precisely what liars are doing.

Thanks for your time,

Dave

Interpersonally, I refuse to lie, point-blank. I can't tell if you are lying to me and I certainly don't see any need to spare my feelings, so I give as I wish to receive.

Sums it up. Lets just say that those in the spectrum wouldnt likely do well in "Survivor."

A group of Aspies on Survivor would be interesting.

Nope

I am a very convincing liar, but I seldom do it.
My Aspie son seldom lies but he tells huge "stories"

I live the worst of both worlds.

I don't get enough oxygen and can hallucinate, telling stories that seem real to me at the time, but obviously could neverr happen, part of my hallucination when I look back in retrospect. I am also a creative writer and can make unusual abstract ideas interesting and upfront for people. They can hear the truth in them when I am healthy, but the last two years the oxygen problem (in the brain) has gotten so bad, nobody believes teh truth anymore. I keep combining my creativity with the hallucinations, trying to explain things and the old way of communiating no longer works, just makes me several decibels odder.

I also am very openly self-critical about my faults. Although I have a lot of willingness to correct them that is getting harder and harder to do. I think that makes my life worse when others are crticizing everything I do and than I very honestly pioint out things they haven't considered yet.

I desperately need medical care, but have almost completely given up on that. I have three aspie nephews and my niece says it's worse for them because they are socially interested. If they weren't, it matter so much when they got rejected. Sometimes I just hit my limit. I want to incarcerate myself at home and arrange delivery and never talk to another human being again. Sometimes I wish I didn't care about being rejected. Then I bounce off that and it messes up everybody.

I'd pay to see that. We'd probably be similar to the villain camp in the heroes/villains one that's just been - brutally honest with each other, except we wouldn't have turned on each other like a pack of sharks.

Good call.

I know that when ever I tried to lie I'd start to laugh or make a ackward face and such and give it away. Or all in all I'd feel bad and tell the truth right away.

Well, I can lie, it's just not very easy.
So much so that it is not even worth trying.