dragonsanddemons
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Location: The Labyrinth of Leviathan
27 Jan 2018, 6:10 pm
27 Jan 2018, 7:03 pm
dragonsanddemons wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Your brother doesn't have autism. That makes all the difference in the world.
I did many things "late," too. I didn't have a driver's license until I was 37 years old.
I did many things "late," too. I didn't have a driver's license until I was 37 years old.
You're right - I really need to get that into my head. I'm so used to being held to NT standards all my life and accused of being lazy, not trying hard enough, and/or not caring when I can't meet them that I've internalized some of that, which is probably a significant part of where my depression comes from.
A marvellous insight there Dragons and one which makes a lot of sense.
You are unique my friend.
We can be very vulnerable in this world.
dragonsanddemons
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Joined: 19 Mar 2011
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Posts: 6,659
Location: The Labyrinth of Leviathan
27 Jan 2018, 7:58 pm
28 Jan 2018, 8:39 am
dragonsanddemons
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Joined: 19 Mar 2011
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 6,659
Location: The Labyrinth of Leviathan
28 Jan 2018, 1:56 pm
28 Jan 2018, 3:55 pm
Do you grit any disiability? I’m guess yiu don’t work is that why yiu feel you just take and don’t give anything?
Fox hugs
dragonsanddemons
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28 Jan 2018, 4:44 pm
28 Jan 2018, 4:57 pm
28 Jan 2018, 5:01 pm
dragonsanddemons
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Joined: 19 Mar 2011
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28 Jan 2018, 5:10 pm
28 Jan 2018, 5:25 pm
28 Jan 2018, 5:38 pm
dragonsanddemons
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Joined: 19 Mar 2011
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Location: The Labyrinth of Leviathan
28 Jan 2018, 6:42 pm
dragonsanddemons
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Joined: 19 Mar 2011
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Location: The Labyrinth of Leviathan
28 Jan 2018, 6:48 pm
Temeraire wrote:
dragonsanddemons wrote:
Temeraire wrote:
dragonsanddemons wrote:
I'm kind of wondering at what point I need to go to the hospital. I'm feeling very depressed, as much as I've ever been, and having thoughts of suicide, although I don't think I'm going to act on them. I don't trust myself not to hurt myself, though.
Last time, I don't think I actually needed to go to the hospital - all I needed was to stop taking the Abilify, which I could've done on my own, especially since I already thought it was the culprit.
Last time, I don't think I actually needed to go to the hospital - all I needed was to stop taking the Abilify, which I could've done on my own, especially since I already thought it was the culprit.
I sometimes wonder if you are getting the help you need.
You seem to be finding your own way of getting through this.
I find doing tasks helps - trying to get through the day as if I don't have depression.
It's a bit like ignoring it, like when you have a cold and have to push on through.
I have walked outdoors more lately and I think this does help.
Cooked some healthy meals from scratch - this too helps me feels some kind of achievement.
I just wish I could do something artistic or creative with colour.
Perhaps I will be able to do this in the next few days.
I am wondering how you can remind yourself of your own uniqueness and worth.
How can you replace those unwanted thoughts with more self-compassion?
I think I do need more help than I'm getting. Part of why I'm wondering if I need to go back to the hospital is because I'm wondering if I need more intensive treatment than I can otherwise get. I've been trying to do chores and things as usual, but it doesn't seem to be helping - they engage my body but not my mind, so I still think unpleasant thoughts while I'm doing stuff like that, and I'm so tird all the time I just don't have the energy to do everything I could before. I'm trying to make sure I take Merlin for at least one walk a day instead of just letting him run around on his own in the yard or in the house to see if the exercise and fresh air helps. I don't know how to successfully replace my unpleasant thoughts with better ones - if I try telling myself positive things, the depressed part of my mind refuses to believe it.
This is where I think you probably need the help of a regular professional - to help you with those thoughts and deep seated beliefs. Be it a psychologist, counsellor or psychiatrist. Someone you get along with too.
You say you have internalised the external negative messages and are very critical of yourself, and this is what needs working on. I hope you can find the right person to do this with.
There is nothing from stopping you asking a professional if they have done this before with a client. Or asking them how would they work with you. You are entitled to question the helper to see if they match up to what you want. For example by telling them you want help with specific thoughts or low self-esteem.
It all takes time and there is no quick fix.
Yeah, I do need to be seeing my counselor and psychiatrist more often than I am - what I'm currently getting is clearly not adequate. We're still waiting to hear from the new psychiatrist I'm hoping to see, but I do have an appointment with the old one on February 2, at least - that's probably better than nothing.
I'm also feeling guilty because my mental health treatment is getting so expensive
28 Jan 2018, 7:22 pm
dragonsanddemons wrote:
Temeraire wrote:
dragonsanddemons wrote:
Temeraire wrote:
dragonsanddemons wrote:
I'm kind of wondering at what point I need to go to the hospital. I'm feeling very depressed, as much as I've ever been, and having thoughts of suicide, although I don't think I'm going to act on them. I don't trust myself not to hurt myself, though.
Last time, I don't think I actually needed to go to the hospital - all I needed was to stop taking the Abilify, which I could've done on my own, especially since I already thought it was the culprit.
Last time, I don't think I actually needed to go to the hospital - all I needed was to stop taking the Abilify, which I could've done on my own, especially since I already thought it was the culprit.
I sometimes wonder if you are getting the help you need.
You seem to be finding your own way of getting through this.
I find doing tasks helps - trying to get through the day as if I don't have depression.
It's a bit like ignoring it, like when you have a cold and have to push on through.
I have walked outdoors more lately and I think this does help.
Cooked some healthy meals from scratch - this too helps me feels some kind of achievement.
I just wish I could do something artistic or creative with colour.
Perhaps I will be able to do this in the next few days.
I am wondering how you can remind yourself of your own uniqueness and worth.
How can you replace those unwanted thoughts with more self-compassion?
I think I do need more help than I'm getting. Part of why I'm wondering if I need to go back to the hospital is because I'm wondering if I need more intensive treatment than I can otherwise get. I've been trying to do chores and things as usual, but it doesn't seem to be helping - they engage my body but not my mind, so I still think unpleasant thoughts while I'm doing stuff like that, and I'm so tird all the time I just don't have the energy to do everything I could before. I'm trying to make sure I take Merlin for at least one walk a day instead of just letting him run around on his own in the yard or in the house to see if the exercise and fresh air helps. I don't know how to successfully replace my unpleasant thoughts with better ones - if I try telling myself positive things, the depressed part of my mind refuses to believe it.
This is where I think you probably need the help of a regular professional - to help you with those thoughts and deep seated beliefs. Be it a psychologist, counsellor or psychiatrist. Someone you get along with too.
You say you have internalised the external negative messages and are very critical of yourself, and this is what needs working on. I hope you can find the right person to do this with.
There is nothing from stopping you asking a professional if they have done this before with a client. Or asking them how would they work with you. You are entitled to question the helper to see if they match up to what you want. For example by telling them you want help with specific thoughts or low self-esteem.
It all takes time and there is no quick fix.
Yeah, I do need to be seeing my counselor and psychiatrist more often than I am - what I'm currently getting is clearly not adequate. We're still waiting to hear from the new psychiatrist I'm hoping to see, but I do have an appointment with the old one on February 2, at least - that's probably better than nothing.
I'm also feeling guilty because my mental health treatment is getting so expensive
Once on ssi, you’ll get Medicaid or what not and it’s pay for it. I could got see therapy for free.
28 Jan 2018, 7:26 pm
dragonsanddemons wrote:
Temeraire wrote:
dragonsanddemons wrote:
Temeraire wrote:
dragonsanddemons wrote:
I'm kind of wondering at what point I need to go to the hospital. I'm feeling very depressed, as much as I've ever been, and having thoughts of suicide, although I don't think I'm going to act on them. I don't trust myself not to hurt myself, though.
Last time, I don't think I actually needed to go to the hospital - all I needed was to stop taking the Abilify, which I could've done on my own, especially since I already thought it was the culprit.
Last time, I don't think I actually needed to go to the hospital - all I needed was to stop taking the Abilify, which I could've done on my own, especially since I already thought it was the culprit.
I sometimes wonder if you are getting the help you need.
You seem to be finding your own way of getting through this.
I find doing tasks helps - trying to get through the day as if I don't have depression.
It's a bit like ignoring it, like when you have a cold and have to push on through.
I have walked outdoors more lately and I think this does help.
Cooked some healthy meals from scratch - this too helps me feels some kind of achievement.
I just wish I could do something artistic or creative with colour.
Perhaps I will be able to do this in the next few days.
I am wondering how you can remind yourself of your own uniqueness and worth.
How can you replace those unwanted thoughts with more self-compassion?
I think I do need more help than I'm getting. Part of why I'm wondering if I need to go back to the hospital is because I'm wondering if I need more intensive treatment than I can otherwise get. I've been trying to do chores and things as usual, but it doesn't seem to be helping - they engage my body but not my mind, so I still think unpleasant thoughts while I'm doing stuff like that, and I'm so tird all the time I just don't have the energy to do everything I could before. I'm trying to make sure I take Merlin for at least one walk a day instead of just letting him run around on his own in the yard or in the house to see if the exercise and fresh air helps. I don't know how to successfully replace my unpleasant thoughts with better ones - if I try telling myself positive things, the depressed part of my mind refuses to believe it.
This is where I think you probably need the help of a regular professional - to help you with those thoughts and deep seated beliefs. Be it a psychologist, counsellor or psychiatrist. Someone you get along with too.
You say you have internalised the external negative messages and are very critical of yourself, and this is what needs working on. I hope you can find the right person to do this with.
There is nothing from stopping you asking a professional if they have done this before with a client. Or asking them how would they work with you. You are entitled to question the helper to see if they match up to what you want. For example by telling them you want help with specific thoughts or low self-esteem.
It all takes time and there is no quick fix.
Yeah, I do need to be seeing my counselor and psychiatrist more often than I am - what I'm currently getting is clearly not adequate. We're still waiting to hear from the new psychiatrist I'm hoping to see, but I do have an appointment with the old one on February 2, at least - that's probably better than nothing.
I'm also feeling guilty because my mental health treatment is getting so expensive
There are charitable agencies who provide free counselling here in the UK - I volunteered for one.
Even though we get free health care here, the response to mental health is rubbish.
I am pushing to get some regular counselling but so far it has been just the odd support session where I am expected to utilise short psychosocial courses. Also the last one was cancelled due to sickness so I have been reassigned to another 'helper'. I won't call them counsellors because it isn't counselling.
But as you say, it is better than nothing. This next one might be more helpful.
I know why I am depressed but that does not mean I can easily just snap out of it. I need someone to bounce off of. This is how I learn and make better insights emotionally.
I am going to be doing more reflective writing soon and keeping a journal. I also need to improve my reflective writing so this would be a good way to do it. Keeping journals can really help to get important stuff out instead of it going around and round all day.
Have you ever kept a reflective journal Dragons?
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