Alcohol and Substance Abuse Counselling Thread

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Flown
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28 Sep 2016, 8:54 am

nurseangela wrote:
There is a difference between being functional and feeling good. I would drink quite a bit to get myself to sleep before I had to go to work, wake up with a "hangover" of sorts not feeling great, but able to function and would be somewhat ok after 3-4 hours and "functional". At times I knew I wasn't giving work 100%. Not drinking anything now, when I wake up, I feel crappy for 5 min and then snap right out of it and am ready to go feeling good and sometimes great. That's the difference. It will catch up with them at some point with some sort of health consequence be it GI, Cardiac, Liver - the body can only take so long of that existence. I just got tired of medicating the symptoms I was having.

I'm having a wee problem now with all the stress I'm under with school - in the back of my mind I keep thinking that maybe just one drink will help with this anxiety because it's bad. But there is no way I could do all the school work I do if I went back on the alcohol. No way. So it's relaxing tea and coffee for me. (Hey! That rhymed!) Got a test to take now then 3 papers to do. Knock them out a little at a time and pray.

9/17 Was 5 months on the wagon! :mrgreen:

Oh! I have also saved at least $2000 over these 5 months - usually spent at least $100 a week on Johnnie Walker Red.


I am glad to hear that you have been on the wagon for 5 months!! Congrats!

The cost can get ridiculous. My husband and I were spending at least $200 a week on the stuff, so our bank account is thanking us for sure.

What kind of relaxing tea is your favorite? I like chamomile lavender. Mmmmm.


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29 Sep 2016, 9:05 am

I agree. I just discovered Chamomile Lavender a month ago.

Last summer I took a few yoga classes. The teacher put oil if lavender on our temples during the ending Savassana. She asked first. Years ago I did not like an instructor who did it without warning or asking.


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nurseangela
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29 Sep 2016, 9:34 am

Flown wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
There is a difference between being functional and feeling good. I would drink quite a bit to get myself to sleep before I had to go to work, wake up with a "hangover" of sorts not feeling great, but able to function and would be somewhat ok after 3-4 hours and "functional". At times I knew I wasn't giving work 100%. Not drinking anything now, when I wake up, I feel crappy for 5 min and then snap right out of it and am ready to go feeling good and sometimes great. That's the difference. It will catch up with them at some point with some sort of health consequence be it GI, Cardiac, Liver - the body can only take so long of that existence. I just got tired of medicating the symptoms I was having.

I'm having a wee problem now with all the stress I'm under with school - in the back of my mind I keep thinking that maybe just one drink will help with this anxiety because it's bad. But there is no way I could do all the school work I do if I went back on the alcohol. No way. So it's relaxing tea and coffee for me. (Hey! That rhymed!) Got a test to take now then 3 papers to do. Knock them out a little at a time and pray.

9/17 Was 5 months on the wagon! :mrgreen:

Oh! I have also saved at least $2000 over these 5 months - usually spent at least $100 a week on Johnnie Walker Red.


I am glad to hear that you have been on the wagon for 5 months!! Congrats!

The cost can get ridiculous. My husband and I were spending at least $200 a week on the stuff, so our bank account is thanking us for sure.

What kind of relaxing tea is your favorite? I like chamomile lavender. Mmmmm.


Lately, I've gotten all of my tea from Amazon - from the Raizana Tea Company (Sleepy tea, Digest tea, Tranquily tea, and Happy tea) and one from Runa called "clean energy". I have my other green teas that I like with one being "Jasmine Pearl". All loose leaf teas. I like to drink it from china and I even have tea warmers that keep the tea warm with a nice relaxing tea candle. Reminds me of Victorian times and English Tea Time. :mrgreen:


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07 Oct 2016, 10:49 am

I've had serious self-control problems with alcohol in particular since I started drinking twelve years ago. However, the problems have been almost exclusively in social situations as I very rarely drink on my own. If I do, I am almost always responsible as I am happy enough in my own company most of the time.

It is very hard to spend time in bars if I am not drinking. I can't help but feel really uncomfortable and anxious, and unless I have access to another substance I will not have a good time. Being in my mid 20s where most social activities seem to be structured around bars and alcohol (especially in UK), my only solution right now is to hide myself away. Only when I seclude myself am I able to keep a lid on these problems.

People seem to think it's a case of 'just drink less' as if I'm not intelligent enough to perceive that drinking too much may be the problem. Alcohol impairs my ability to control myself and once I get that positive, sociable feeling from it, the game is up. I don't think a lot of people understand that when you never feel like that in a sober state, the feeling is addictive in its novelty. No amount of CBT is going to change that.



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06 Nov 2016, 3:41 am

Ugh, had the compulsion to get shitfaced tonight because no one else is in the house.
So yeah, that doesn't seem to be going away.
Nowhere near dumb enough to actually do it, but I still don't like that compulsion coming back to haunt me out of left field like that. Ew.


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Flown
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06 Nov 2016, 10:49 am

C2V wrote:
Ugh, had the compulsion to get shitfaced tonight because no one else is in the house.
So yeah, that doesn't seem to be going away.
Nowhere near dumb enough to actually do it, but I still don't like that compulsion coming back to haunt me out of left field like that. Ew.


I don't know if that ever FULLY goes away, but it does get better with time. I still have dreams about drinking my favorite mixed drink, and I physically become uncomfortable when liquor commercials come on.

It is really wonderful that you didn't give in to your compulsion!! You should be proud!


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06 Nov 2016, 11:21 am

Finding underlying causes and conditions some day is important.
Otherwise one switches to other things such as Gambling, other chemicals including food addiction.

It's sort of like switching deck chairs on the Titanic.

Uncover
Discover
Recover.

It's usually a cork screw or up and down rather than a strait line up.

There are acute and post acute(in old school terms) times that can be pink cloudish to raging Hulk.
In between can come sarcasm and rambling in speech and chat rooms

Last line was my attempt at humor. (Many days off with the get to be there for my F. I. L. attitude).

There is a counting App that some use to keep track of there minutes, days, weeks and years clean. 8O :arrow:
:arrow:


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29 Dec 2016, 3:31 am

Well I didn't want to post here but...

Getting off weed in a few days, Sunday to be exact and it will be forever, staying completely high in the meantime. I don't like this thread cause I don't like AA or anything anti drug really but since you only quit once. I am curious at what point something becomes an addiction or "abusive". Shooting up everyday is obviously not a good idea and I know because I did it but was the substance bad or was the fact I was escaping reality bad? What am I doing? Why am I getting high? Does it treat anxiety or does it mask it? Furthermore, what if I stop and everything is worse. What if life sucks on drugs and life sucks even harder off drugs? Is drug use a "bad" thing... always... When does medical drugs stop being "good" and become "bad". This is not made easier with the fact that I would frankly pull the trigger on myself if I had the means. Should I stay high and work on that issue or risk killing myself when there is no reason to live? Are drugs a reason to live? What if drugs are actually a reason to live? What if the last bit of joy you have is escaping how horrible everything is? What if everyday is pain and you go to bed at night and there is more pain. What if your life just f*****g sucks? Then what do you do? I have been on drugs and I haven't accomplished a damn thing and when I was off drugs, I accomplished a lot in the death and destruction department.

Those options both look like s**t...



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29 Dec 2016, 4:09 am

okay...

Honesty mode activated, if I am going to post the above, might as well, I am some what scared to get off drugs to be honest. I have been so depressed and suicidal that I am worried it'll send me over the edge. I have a system of misery that works and I don't know that it'll work sober. I cry everyday, I am terrified of people to be honest. I have never been able to function and I don't on drugs to be clear but I care less enough to function on a broken level high. If I am sober, people might expect more of me, I don't think I can deliver...

Drugs don't make me stupid, I am already stupid.



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29 Dec 2016, 8:22 am

dcj123 wrote:
I don't like this thread cause I don't like AA or anything anti-drug...

Just so you know: A.A. and N.A. are not anti-drug. We who have recovered do not ever say "Don't use." Instead, our recovery program is for people who *want* to stop but cannot...and I suspect that might prove to be your case just as it once was mine.

dcj123 wrote:
I am curious at what point something becomes an addiction or "abusive".

An addiction can be a mental-emotional obsession for the effect of something and/or a physical craving for the actual something. It is physical addiction when the body physically craves a substance when it is absent, and recovery is about treating the mental-emotional obsession for the effect of a given substance whether or not the body is physically addicted. As to abuse: That typically amounts to using someone or something beyond safe limits or a given social norm.

dcj123 wrote:
...was the substance bad or was the fact I was escaping reality bad? What am I doing? Why am I getting high? Does it treat anxiety or does it mask it?

Drinking or using for the effect is not always bad, but yes, the effect is typically just masking something rather than actually solving the problem driving the desire or obsession for the effect.


dcj123 wrote:
Furthermore, what if I stop and everything is worse. What if life sucks on drugs and life sucks even harder off drugs?

That is quite likely going to be what happens. In my own case, I had come to a point where I could live neither with it nor without it...and there is where the Twelve Steps came into play for me so I could find a new way to live without needing the effect of a substance.

dcj123 wrote:
What if the last bit of joy you have is escaping how horrible everything is? What if everyday is pain and you go to bed at night and there is more pain. What if your life just f*****g sucks? Then what do you do?

There is where I was when I began taking the Twelve Steps.

dcj123 wrote:
I have been so depressed and suicidal that I am worried it'll send me over the edge. I have a system of misery that works and I don't know that it'll work sober.

I definitely understand that! I used to drink to preserve my sanity and to keep from going over that edge.

What kind of "God issues" might you have?


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29 Dec 2016, 1:24 pm

That yielded better results then I thought, it kind of occurred to me that I probably pissed some people off posting that high as kite. For the record I am not now but will be soon. You actually probably don't want to know what issues I have but God and me don't get along too great. I guess I feel I am not good enough since I have gotten some pretty clear messages that I am not well liked. I guess I just hope for the best. Also I don't know that I believe in God anyway in the traditional sense. Everyone just kind of modifies the idea of God to their liking and its pretty sickening. Your post makes sense I guess, I actually never really paid support much mind and now that I think about it, I don't even think I ever went to AA or NA sober.

Let me think some and I'll be back (sober sorry, it literally just slipped my mind last night).



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29 Dec 2016, 2:10 pm

dcj123 wrote:
You actually probably don't want to know what issues I have but God and me don't get along too great...
Also I don't know that I believe in God anyway in the traditional sense.

There is actually no need for me to know what "God issues" you might have, and here is why I had even asked:

"We needed to ask ourselves but one short question. 'Do I now believe, or am I even willing to believe, that there is a Power greater than myself?' As soon as a man can say that he does believe, or is willing to believe, we emphatically assure him that he is on his way. It has been repeatedly proven among us that upon this simple cornerstone a wonderfully effective spiritual structure can be built." ("A.A.", page 47)

And if you might have trouble even with that, then would you at least be willing to believe I happen to believe there is a power beyond any human power...and then would you also be willing to take some specific action to find out for yourself?

My point: A.A.'s Step Two is *not* a theological exercise. It is nothing more than only what I have mentioned here: Willing to believe there is a Power greater than ourselves.

The alternative? Insist there is not and then see what happens while relying upon human power.


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29 Dec 2016, 4:17 pm

Actually what would help me greatly (I am sober don't worry) since I have been asked what people online can do before is for someone to define a very clear line between wanting to stop but not being able to. I can stop with great ease but I don't want to and I feel conflicted about it use. At the very least socially. So yes I can stop and have done so but life usually does get worse but when I use its still bad. I have been using daily and things are horrible so I start thinking maybe I don't need to be high and then I am not high and things are... horrible. So I am dealing with emotional pain and stuff with drug use and I don't know that this is great combo plus I have isolation.

I cry sober and high... Life is empty sober and high...

I just don't know how to feel, I am setting a limit pass this year which has never been a problem, once the decision is I made, I can stop and have even thrown drugs away (which I'll probably do). I am going into this conflicted, I feel I'll probably have a bad time giving how depressed I have been and I feel I have nothing to fall back on.



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29 Dec 2016, 4:28 pm

Wow I see a pattern...

Anxiety / Low self esteem / PTSD / Life is horrible -> No hope -> Suicidal thoughts -> Drug use -> Getting by -> More suicidal thoughts -> Fear from said thoughts -> Sober -> Repeat

Its not a long term solution is it?



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29 Dec 2016, 4:41 pm

I feel HFAs are extremely susceptible to drug and alcohol abuse. I fell into that rut trying to be accepted by others. When I was in the midst of my addictive behavior; if someone had tried to tell me anything I would have told them to fxxx off and mind their own business. I guess the gist of what I'm saying is you have to reach that point by yourself and you have to decide if you do/do not want that type of life style.



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29 Dec 2016, 4:48 pm

I stopped using drugs about 2 1/2 years ago. I still drink, but I've cut that down a lot. I have one or two cans of beer at night to help me stay asleep. (Bipolar is a b***h and makes it hard to get more than 2 hours of sleep at night). With the beer I can get 4 to 6 hours of sleep. Without it, just two hours. I do take Gabapentin for sleep, and it does work, but it seems I always require a little help.