Rants

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I have about 7 (can't be bothered to count them) nationalities in my family. More if English and Scottish count as different nationalities.

People hate that.

It's not like anyone can help where they're born and so many families are a mix of English and Scottish or some other British mix that it's pathetic when people hate over that.

We are all allowed privacy online. If anything we should be more private. Don't worry what anyone thinks. You know your truth and your story, I know my story, and if others are so invested that they need to piece it all together they really need to find some new hobbies.

((Hugs))

Lol and now I'm getting accused on here by someone for 'misrepresenting my childhood'. No I didn't. At the same time she says she lies by omission. Hmm...

Thanks Isabella. I think it's just simple minded people.

I want approval of all the parts of me from somewhere but I won't get that online. I won't even get it in my family.

They judge me cos my dad disowned me, too. Apparently everyone has to have a good relationship with their dad or it's their fault.

So sick of this ADD-like farce of a symptom that is stuck in my head. And it seems it's getting worse than better overtime.
Had enough 'forgetting', had enough confused, had enough not able to notice things, had enough not able to judge time.

It isn't really an autism related problem, but it's making autism become more of a problem.
If this is, really an autism related problem it would've been solved already by having stress-free days, abstaining stuff, and figuring out patterns. It's been almost a year now since this problem. It's been over 2 months since I quit my job. There were no real improvements.

Sure I prevented that might've turned into a burnout, but the problem remains to stay. A problem that refuses me to grow despite practice, and it wouldn't let me be free.

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Why do strangers online feel the need to tell me there's no such thing as dyspraxia and I'm just being lazy?

So I matched with someone who wrote in their bio that they are open minded, patient and likes to challenge herself to learn more about herself. So I write to her and tell her how I like that she is open minded and patient and I try to practice open mindedness and patience, but I am not always successful. I also asked her what she had learned about herself. She writes back and tells me I was the first person to message her on Tinder. Then she writes that surely I could do a better first attempt and adds ahahahahaha. After a few minutes she unmatched me.

No, actually, I did my best, but apparently you aren't very successful at being open minded nor are you very patient. I hate my life!

It is getting worse.

I found out this tablet's on the entire night and it's not on sleep mode. With the battery nearly drained. I don't remember leaving it as it is. Checked it, and no one touched it.


What's next, the gas stove?! What if I burned the damn house because I fricking 'forgot'?!
It's all about the sleep.. It's always about this breathing...

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I kill people.

I feel like I'm a disappointment to my ancestors.

They survived famine so I could cheer 7 goals, fight with Rangers fans, flirt with women, crack jokes and do light petting with lads.

I do give to charity but nothing I can do can make up for what they put up with so I would be here today.

I hate the school holidays. Every time I go into the supermarket there is always several kids around the store whining and crying. And I think they play up more when they're with their brothers and sisters because it's more sibling competition or rivalry.

Kid 1: He gets sweets, why can't I?
Chavvy mother: Because you have a dentist appointment later
(Kid 2 gloats)
Kid 1: Waaaaaahhhhh! It's not fair!! Waaaaaahhhhh!! !! !! !
(The whole shop has to endure this tantrum)

Kid 1: Race you down the other end of the aisle!
Kid 2: (screaming): Yeeaahhhhh!
(Kid 2 loses)
Kid 2: Waaaaaahhhhh!! ! Mummy, he won! Waaaaaahhhhh!! !! !!
(Chavvy mother doesn't control them)
(Kids run into other shoppers and get in the way)

(Kid 1 squeals)
Kid 2: I bet I can squeal louder than that (squeals louder)
(Kid 1 squeals louder)
(Kid 3 joins in)
Chavvy mother: Listen, my darlings are having a squealing contest. I shall get the one that wins some sweets
(Kids scream even louder to try to win sweets, then 2 of them start having tantrums because they didn't win sweets)

Chavvy mother: Charlie, don't pinch your sister or you'll sit in the trolley!
(Little Charlie doesn't take his mother seriously and pinches his sister again, who then screams)
Chavvy mother: Right, that's it - in the trolley!
(Charlie screams the place down)

Chavvy mother: If you misbehave you won't get any sweets, Tyler!
(Mother has set no boundaries for the kid so the kid isn't quite sure how to behave appropriately in the store)
Chavvy mother: Right, choose your sweets, not you Tyler, you're not getting any because you've been naughty
(Little Tyler throws himself on the floor and screams the place down)


These situations cause Joe90 stress and sensory overload, and she does her shopping wearing a mask that says "I can tolerate these noisy brats and their chavvy mother's with crappy parenting skills", but is really thinking "either these kids need creches to play in whilst their parents are shopping, or these parents need to attend parenting classes".