.. I don't want any money. I mean, money isn't entirely the point why I wanna be employed. I somewhat found 'it', sometime during while I'm subbing for the past days this week.
I wanna roam the earth -- while able to sustain myself at the same time without neglecting myself. I wanna try all sorts of 'roles' and responsibilities, explore... I never mourned for a 'normal life', but why are they so damn insistent?!
I understand the necessity, the social demands, 'reality'.
And that, they are concerned -- but it's just one if not the only way way of life they knew. They are just afraid to let anyone to dive into that unknown... I don't like it when they worry...
The main way to let them worry less, is to represent myself as competent and independent no matter how atypical I represent -- which isn't currently the case save for the latter. But that's what I'm aiming for.
I should learn to stop feeling guilty. There are many things that I've yet to resolve within me -- and guilt is a huge one.
Yeah, it's very counteractive against of how most autistics would do things -- 'stability', 'predictability'...
Needs or not, that's not what I want in life. And what I want in this life isn't something spectacular -- it's not very big.
In fact, it was something so simple, that many tend to overlook and underestimate it -- that includes myself.