0.
I'm all of this far away from throwing this essay. It's the standard 100 points, and I have to have it done by tomorrow morning or else it's an automatic 0... The prompt's not hard at all, I know how it should go, I just can't. Really, I don't care that much about the essay. I just don't like feeling like this, feeling kind of helpless.
I think tomorrow maybe I'll ask for help again... It's very hard for me to ask for help from anyone (with the exception of one person); I almost never do. When I do though, I tend to automatically (and foolishly) assume that my request (help) will be fulfilled (or at least considered), because I put so much effort into just asking. It doesn't work that way, of course; usually (or more accurately the very few times I asked last year) it just makes it worse.
What's more is this shouldn't be happening. I'm happy with someone, happier than ever before. And yet what am I doing? Breaking down over some homework. Blah.
Actually, make it a 3. Reality checks (above paragraph) clear my head sometimes. I am being foolish.
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"Nothing worth having is easy."
Three years!