Rants

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I'm scared. I feel like i should give this guy a chance. Otherwise what will happen to me when my parents die? It's unlikely that there will be another person and i am too scared. I need to have someone by my side otherwise i won't have anyone in my old age to tak3 care of me. I wish i could die when my parents die.

^ Just make sure you don’t fall into a relationship with fear of being alone as your core/only motivation.
Apart from the dishonesty of such a move it has a very high likelihood of backfiring to both parties detriment.
(Of course, if you find genuine romantic affection developing go for it and enjoy it!)

^ I know it's wrong i just become so scared sometimes i can't think rationally. My therapist already advised me that i shouldn't start a relationship because of this but people around me are so superficial sometimes i feel like i should be like them too.

^ yeah: resist that temptation!

Superficiality has its place: but at the core of lifelong relationships/marriage it’s disastrous for the couple: and I’ve known at least two people who were seriously screwed up by growing up in a “warzone” family that developed out of a marriage started for superficial reasons on one side.
Dangerous to self and others.

Let the people around you make silly mistakes if they must: for yourself observe, learn and don’t repeat!

^ Thank you so much, it really helps to hear someone saying that instead of pushing people to have someone in their life just because. Relationships aren't a pair the spares game.

^ No they’re a very serious, potentially lifelong, venture with much that is unexpected, for better and worse, in store: a solid honest foundation is necessary.

I didn’t find the right person until I was your age, and even then we went through 6 months of friendship, 6 months of dating and 2 years of co-habitation before fully committing and signing the document in the town hall.
Neither of us were looking for “A N Other” human to be with just because when we met: in fact we’d both given up on the notion after toxic relationships that had crashed & burned!

^ Yeah definitely, add children to the mix (as where i live marriage automatically means children, another social pressure) and it's even more difficult..
That gives me hope though, that you and your wife found each other while not even looking for someone specifically. It sounds like you have a wonderful relationship based on mutual understanding and genuine love and respect for each other. A lot of married people around me aren't like that, so it makes me happy to see couples like this.
I think i have to get out of this mindset of "settling for someone i don't like" too, because like you said it can do more harm than good..

^ Definitely! That’s the spirit.
(We do have our issues from time to time: it’s more we have a good structure to resolve them in... although it can be a “pulling teeth” kind of experience)

Got to go to work now, but I’ll leave two thoughts, one of mine, one of my mothers:

(Me): ”a relationship isn’t the solution to any of your problems, it’s a different position from which to grapple with them”

(Mum): ”having and raising children is one of the most stressful things humans do: don’t do it unless your sure your relationship can weather the storm”

Happy Thursday!

^Thank you for this convo, it helped clear my mind a lot! Happy Thursday to you also

I'm going to get a cold. I know it, because I have a stye come up on my eyelid and every time I get one of those a bad cold has followed. I hate having colds, I know there are things worse than a cold but I still hate it, because I can't sleep at night and I can't stand the feeling of my nose being blocked. When you have a cold nothing shifts a blocked/runny nose no matter how much steam or obas oil I inhale. I wish there was a cure for the common cold. Or what if it's flu? I had the flu this exact week last year. I can't get the flu - I've got a social event next Saturday and I am SO looking forward to going. I don't want to be laid up with a stupid cold.

If you can take vitamin C Joe 1000mg (1 gram ) × 2 per day it will boost your immune system and may ease your symptoms and shorten the duration of your cold. Lot's of lemon tea helps me. Steam is really good so you know what to do

Also: douse a hanky in olbas oil.
And if you can cope with it eating raw garlic helps (1 clove every so often... not a whole load all at once!)

I said breathing in steam or obas oil doesn't work when I have a cold. When one has a cold you've just got to suffer a stuffed up nose until it's run it's course.

It's so annoying because I thought my immune system was strong, being so I've been eating all the right food that contains healthy nutritions, vitamins and fibre, like fruit, vegetables, lean meat, yoghurt (these have vitamin C in them), and any other healthy food you can think of. Also I've been extra careful washing my hands because of this coronavirus hype and I've not been near anyone with a cold. So how the f**k could I be harbouring a cold?

I just feel so miserable. I know a stye means a cold coming.

^ get some beconase from the supermarket: it’ll be a spray in a box and marketed for hay fever.
Mild non-prescription steroid that reduces the inflammation of your nasal passages so the mucus can flow out quicker.
(Costs about £6-7 from Morrisons)
I’ve been in it for a few months now to help deal with chronic sinusitis: good stuff.

I love my mom, sometimes I feel like she's the only person I can rely on. However, I also think she is well-aware of that and that she can treat me however she wants because she knows that I need her and feels that she has full control of me and I'm getting kind of tired of it. For example, I was thinking of changing my hair and coloring it a reddish-shade from my normal brown and I brought the idea up to her and she snapped at me and began yelling so I said something like "Okay, I don't need to. It's not important." I know it's not a big deal for that but I'm 26 years old and I don't know if it is because I live with her (I'm still studying in college and I don't make enough money from my part-time job working for my dad's business to move out). I also fear I wouldn't be able to survive without her. I love her so much and my biggest fear is losing her but I guess I'd like some more independence and her to allow me to make decisions on small things that aren't a big deal and don't really affect her much (like coloring my hair and that kind of thing). I feel like I'm still treated like a small child and It's not helping me now or in the long run.