Rants

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I am sick of people who don't take the time to properly do the research, spouting off based on incorrect information. Scientists spend decades learning and researching their specialty, the work is long, grueling, and tedious. But regular people hear a few things on the news and suddenly they are 'qualified' to question and criticize.

And I am effing tired of people who think their life is more important than mine. Eff you. You think I like this? Well I don't. But if you think that it's acceptable if I die or suffer additional health problems for your comfort, keep it to yourself. And to those of you altruistic a-holes who think I and others at risk, should just be kept away from the rest of the world, living in permanent isolation, eff you too. You think I shouldn't ever be able to see my family again? Should I lose my job too? Should I not be able to have a baby too? Live like an invalid? Maybe it'd be more convenient for you if I were dead?

For a sight for disabled people, there are a lot of ableistic things said here. Returning was probably a mistake.

^ could have been written by my wife. hang in there. I totally understand.

I'm having trouble describing how I feel lately. The words frustrated, exhausted, emotionally drained, just don't seem to cut it.
I'm tired of being in chronic pain. I'm tired of people taking advantage of my mom, she has brain damage and people seem to see her as an easy target! I'm sick of double standards. I'm sick of people not doing proper research and not learning from history. I'm worried about my brother's safety and well-being, which keeps me on edge. I don't know how much longer I can deal with this insomnia.

Argh. Maybe the title of that Harlan Ellison story sums it up best:
"I have no mouth and I must scream."

Please don't judge me here, as I really need to vent right now. I am just so upset, scared and livid about the lockdown and I know I am not the only one feeling this way.

I feel like throwing myself on the floor and screaming and kicking like a 3-year-old that wants a toy but can't have. But luckily my mind is mature enough to deal with it like an adult and express in words how I'm feeling instead, which involves ranting on internet forums.

My boyfriend is in a bad mood too because of the second lockdown being announced. He's high risk to COVID but he still doesn't agree with lockdowns again. So we are both ranting to each other about it (not at each other, just to each other).

Bloody neighbour upstairs. OK she does have a right to move around in her own home but that still doesn't stop me from ranting.

I'm having a relaxing bubble bath.
She decides to go to the bathroom making as much noise as possible (don't know how one can make so much noise sitting on the toilet). I know she's going to the toilet because I hear the chain flush above.

It's raining outside and I sit quietly to enjoy such a calming sound.
She decides to get her vacuum out and vacuum every square inch of her apartment, which involves moving all the furniture.

I can't sleep so I get up and quietly work on my art project I like to do as a hobby, or read a book, until I feel tired enough to go to sleep (this is, like, 1am or 2am).
She can't sleep either and chooses to do the noisiest activities possible, like get her pet elephants out to dance across the living-room (or so it sounds like that). Whatever she's doing above is so noisy and distracting that I lose focus in what I was doing.

Neighbours.
If I was rich I'd buy myself a remote little cottage with no neighbours above.

There's a meme in Poland:

"Człowiek-Sąsiad" means "The Neighbour-Man".

I cannot smile to a degree, grin or laugh hard without a damn toothache.

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Impatience. Laziness. Lethargy. Boredom. Frustrations. Restrictions. Too slow. Too fast.

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I can ignore noisy neighbours that are either next door or below. But my ears seem to be ultrasensitive to sounds being made above me, even if it's not loud. So living below an insomniac with an obsessive compulsion for cleaning is the bane of my life.
We can't afford a house but I would like move to an apartment where you're upstairs and there's no-one above you, but my boyfriend has knee problems so has trouble climbing stairs, and most apartment buildings around here don't have elevators. So downstairs it is.

I guess it could be worse. But at least when there are people having noisy parties above you, it gives you the right to complain to the landlords. It isn't fair to complain to the landlords about a strange old woman that can't sleep but can't sit still for 5 minutes and must have her whole apartment 100% sparkling clean all of the time. So with a neighbour like that you've just got to endure it.
I have banged on the ceiling with a broom before because I just got so angry with her weird noises. But the minute I did it I felt guilty. I think it did give her the hint that she makes too much noise all through the night.
I have trouble sleeping too sometimes, but I get up and do something quietly where I won't disturb the neighbours. I sit and read or draw or watch the TV (quietly) or surf the web or any other activity that's considerably quiet. Why would I want to start opening the cupboard and rearranging boxes, or moving the furniture around, or vacuuming, or scrubbing at the same dirty mark on the floor that doesn't ever come off, or cleaning the walls and ceilings using a stepladder, or doing my laundry, or practicing my juggling skills, or using the couch to work on my trampolining skills, or seeing which shoes throw the furthest, or whatever she does, at 2 o'clock in the morning?
It's not like she works either. She's retired and is presumably self-isolating from COVID and we don't hardly see her going out of her apartment and she doesn't even have any visitors hardly, only occasionally and during the daytime.

This site is a dump.

I'll be back probably.

But only for the only other person on here who understands that autism isn't a pity party.

Ironically, he'll say 'they always come back' haha.

The empathy s**t. Loads of Aspies here think NTs have 100% empathy in any given situation and Aspies have 0% empathy for others.
There could be a whole thread discussing agreeably to how most NTs feel empathy for those that have experienced the same as them as not so much for those that haven't, but then another thread pops up with the OP whining about how they only can feel empathy for those that have experienced the same as them and everyone agrees like "oh yes, autistics can only feel empathy for others experiencing the same as us".

Empathy this, empathy that, I wish the blessed word did not exist.