scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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7... seems to be what my positive mood usually reaches...
I'm usually too cautious for it to become higher lol. I am a pretty paranoid guy... and I believe in the things I do I got bags of ability there somewhere... but 1 shredded bag when it comes to experience... lol

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dbh_k5GLRuQ[/youtube]

I hope you're through the worst of it.



9.7.
Up by 0.2.
So close to 10, and at the same time, in a bit of a different sense of the word, so far.

Still 5. I've still got awful toothache - how can you have toothache when the tooth's been removed? But it's not impacted (no tooth pun intended there) on my mood. But I fear it might if I can't sleep again tonight with it.

5. I have a new job. Which I am at. But, I still want to crawl into a dark hole when strangers approach me...
Oh well.

-6 now. Anxiety is acting up.

3

Therapy ain't meant to make you "angry"; those psychos at Attwood's clinic are beginning to annoy me (which is a feat of gargantuan proportions), you swear it's scrawled into their brains that we're all supposed to be the second-coming of Einstein and create transgalactic travel or some such nonsense (I'd like to see his diagnosis..., O, wait). "'Daniel, why can't you do that?'" 'Ah, because I cannot talk to anyone and I wish to stick my neck with this knife every time I'm around people.' "'Daniel, think of the gifts and positives; the focus!'" 'Would you love me if I were an expert at flipping my lucky coin because I cannot choose between two different types of bread?' No answer. 'You'd love me if I was a surgeon hey? After all, they're all "aspies"! Since I'm one, and since I'm an intellectual genius, I should be your prodigal surgeon to help people I don’t give a damn about because I lack all empathy.' Blah, blah and blah.

The curses outweigh the gifts in some of us; you pointing out what I'm not by questioning, and then inferring I have these mythical powers that are untapped doesn't make me feel better (said powers don't exist), it makes me hate you like everyone else who wants me to be whom I'm not.

-5.
The worst and heaviest period I've had in living history that is making my heart beat like mad to keep up, heavy rain and total exhaustion, plus I hate my ugly face. I want the sun back.

but you have such a pretty face Kate

Sure I do That is why no one but you and Flagg says I do anymore. Aspies are honest people, and if they don't say I am pretty then logic dictates it is because I am unattractive. But sod em, looks mean crap anyway.

I think you look great. There is a deepness though, your appearance shows a depth of character that is hard to express.

... it's so hard to say what it is.

Or they simply don't feel comfortable complementing people. I don't think I'ver given out a compliment on a photo of someone here, except for the time my (ex)girlfriend posted her photo here.

About 3.5
Socially didn't do too well today... felt paranoid in music practical - co-operative stuff... I hate it when I feel that I let someone off saying something to me or something which I didn't voice my concern over... or my defense...
I may be being irrational, but I do so despise it when I'm too shy to speak up for myself or defend myself.

Sometimes there's just a block that comes with this aspergers... I am sometimes more defensive...

But if I know professional thinking, I will up my game next time...
That said, I didn't do that badly but wanted to do better.

Ok, it wasn't a sorta straight in your face kinda assault, but a bit of a harsh joke sorta thing...
But still - what am I afraid of? I'm a reasonably respected guy who knows some slight combat skills...

Well, yeah.

You don't owe anything to anyone; change is in your realm, not theirs. What you can do is just as important as what you cannot do; balance is necessary for peace. You are who you are; you're a better person than most.

Odd, other people have said that and I can make no sense of it at all.
Maybe it comes from being innately spiritual in nature, I do not know.
I am my worst enemy in terms of physical appearance... I tend to base a lot of my self worth on it, which I know is wrong really.

True for a majority, I imagine. But compliments are given freely to a few and when female, one cannot help but somehow take that to mean they are in some way inferior in the looks department. That is how I take it anyway... my own issue, I guess.

Anyways, I am a 3 I suppose.
Seem to be able to get a net signal with window shut which saves on heating and got a BBC DVD set called 'The Planets'.