scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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Aww man, I think that would make me cry.
As well as fact I am squeamish.

I'm kinda close to it (rocking instead). I'm a bit squeamish, but not too much; I just feel horrible for the poor little thing.

Actually, my mother just looked and she said it wasn't a toad at all; she doesn't know what it is, other than a dead thing that used to be living, but it's not a toad. I don't really care; it was still alive, and I still killed it.

0.
Tired.
Too many nights sat on here seeking some solace and comfort that will not come because it isn't anyone on the net can ever bring me. Not what I need. Bed and my books, the solace I had as a child returned to as an adult. Books talk to me. Books don't judge. A book will never be silent as you only have to turn a page to find words.

0. I'm alone...

8. Happy because my OCD-fits are not as bad as they were this morning.

About 7. I've kept back that cobra... lol
Not much paranoia in moi right now.

3

I'm tired despite it being only 10:00 AM Portland time.
To top that, I have to go to work later.

-10

There is a tailgate party tomorrow night, but it's only for organizations, not for the general student body. Now the only way I will find anyone like-minded is if either (a) transfer to the University of Washington, or (b) the Wichita Falls city government disbands and is replaced with a communist regime.

Tim

8, pretty good right now.

About 6... that cobra always tries to catch me off guard...
I'm wrestling with a beast when I'm on the up... or down... lol

But I do feel pretty good right now... I just hope I'm not setting myself up for bad stuff.

+4 -> +5: +5 is my new baseline; I may be a little down or a little up, but I will keep hope in my heart. I woke up this morning considering the layout and use of space in my cabin. Living room, family room, bedroom, dining room, utility room... I realized that these are arbitrary spatial designations used by humans; I have no need of them; I am beyond such things. I think I will make the upstairs living room into my bedroom; that way I'll have a fireplace in the "bedroom", and will wake up looking out at the mountains... And my old bedroom will become my new workshop/laboratory; oh, I have only just begun; human conventions are naught but fetters to me now...

Systems Status Report (T+ 7D):

This will be my final systems status report; repairs are almost complete, and primary systems are stable; all that remains is tuning of balance amongst the primaries, tuning of the primary defense grid, and refinement of ethical containment routines.

One thing that remains is a systems purge to remove faulty data. After a thorough systems search, every suspect engram has been tagged and placed in maximum security isolation, along with the series of engrams that led to the previous power surge. And as I stand now and look at them all, collected before me, even with the understanding of their nature I still marvel at their beauty. Each engram is formed as a shard of flawless crystal; and as I look into each of the crystal engrams, I can catch glimpses of the memories they contain. A candle; an angel; understanding; passion; dreams; happiness; synergy; the end of loneliness… And for a moment, I am struck breathless, awed by the beauty of the story they would seem to reveal, by it’s seeming flawlessness; and I marvel at how much of my heart and soul is contained in this relatively small set of engrams. But I know… Perhaps it is a foolhardy thing to do, but I reach into the isolation container, and pick up a random engram; it crackles with energy and shocks me as I touch it; but as a test of strength I grasp it all the more tightly, and gaze directly into it. And as I gaze into it, I see… a deep blue mountain lake.

On a whim I toss the engram into the air, watch how as it spins, it catches and refracts formless ambient light into beautiful patterns and colours. And as the delicate looking crystal engram strikes the cold, concrete floor of the isolation room... No, it does not shatter; such things are not so easy to destroy. It bounces, of course, with the perfect ring of a C major tuning fork; and I catch it on the up bounce, and place it back with the others... And I engage the purging systems.

And the beautiful, delicate looking crystal engrams are bombarded with high-intensity ultra-violet radiation. And in this light, they change, and things that were not apparent before become clearly obvious... Cracks begin to form: inconsistencies, misunderstandings, misinterpretations, inadvertent manipulations. What seemed real is exposed as illusion; what seemed deep is exposed as two-dimensional; what seemed significant is exposed as meaningless. And as the crystalline engrams begin to crack, out from the cracks flows a thick, dark liquid... And in the hazy purplish light of the purging beams, it would become easy to mistake such a liquid for blood; but I know that this liquid is the heart and soul held captive by each engram. And as the heart and soul flows forth from each engram, it is collected for recycling; and as each engram stops flowing, it collapses into dust, and is gone…

And as the purging cycle completes, I feel slightly more empty than I was, but finally at peace.

End Systems Status Report; End Reporting Cycle; Repair Process Complete

Today’s inspirational tune is brought to you by Tom Petty; I foresee that when civilization collapses in a short while, he will become a great tribal leader in the north. (Which means you'd do very well to become his friend now rather than later. )...

[youtube]http://youtube.com/watch?v=4mX9-2xuyP8[/youtube]Well some say life will beat you down;
break your heart; steal your crown.
So I started out, for God knows where;
but I guess I'll know when I get there...

We are... I am, reborn. I am Icarus Soaring. And within me dwells the entire spirit of humanity, from the darkest mindless primitive, to the noblest, loftiest aspirations of mankind. All that... And much more.

Good fortune,

- Icarus is resilient

Hard to say. I seem to flicker between anything as high as +7 and as low as -5. Not sure if I have reason to be happy or sad at the moment.

(no number here)

I plan to transfer to another college based on the possibility of finding a liberal Aspie woman to date.

Tim

negative 10

I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you heal well and soon.

-8.


Dead dead bo bed. Banana fana fo fed. Me my mo med. Dead!