1001 Things Not To Do Around NTs...

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Mine too, that's why only 50% of my friends are human.

I somehow have a few friends who are also doctors, lawyers and college professors, who are very bright and love to have deep conversations about super stimulating subjects. I'm just blessed I guess.

Yes you are. ^^

I must admit I am sometimes guilty of that. Seeing someone with a book and saying "What are you reading? What is it about?" and trying to look at it over their shoulder. I must have annoyed them.

I think that women with books can sometimes attract men because they instantly have that "hot librarian" thing going on when with a book. I think also people can hate being ignored.

Also a factor is that a person might see a person with a book and think "They seem to have spare time. I will approach them."

This still baffles me. When I see someone with a book, I mostly think that they don't want to be bothered. But I have bothered my neighbor when she is sitting on her front porch with her laptop.

Posted: Wed Jul 29, 2009 4:35 am Post subject:

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18. if you're one of the exceptions like me who is attracted to social gatherings like a moth to a flame (and with much the same crash-and-burn results), never act too friendly when first meeting someone. or expect much reciprocation. NTs like to get to know people slowly and at an even pace. people who come at them with an unnaturally strong, let's-be-best-friends vibe from the get-go scare them.

19. never vent about your multitude problems to an NT you want to actually stick with you in the long term. it makes you look neurotic. as much as you might want someone who understands and accepts, most don't want to be with someone who seems like a walking embodiment of negativity.
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Seanmw
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Joined: Jul 26, 2009
Age: 19
Posts: 248
Location: Bremerton, WA
Posted: Wed Jul 29, 2009 4:45 am Post subject: Re: 1001 Things Not To Do Around NTs...

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Alternative wrote:
...If they don't know you're an Aspie.

Add as many as you want at a time...I'll start.

1. Do not go on and on about one subject (i.e. Quote Family Guy for hours on end)
2. Boys, do not be honest with girls when they tell you to "be honest".


it may be noted that #2 is critical to survival. honesty is good. but some of the most well-intentioned honesty, when coming from the mind of an aspie, will screw you over hardcore.

Seanmw...You lie!! ! Such wisdom could not come from a 19 YO aspie!! I'm 46 and still desparately struggle with these.
Good on ya!

I think alot of NTs use books as a last resort to stop boredom from kill them. ^^ Thus talking to someone who's reading is a way of improving their situation, the fact that someone might enjoy their book is nothing that even exists.

Well of course. It's normal for people to assume others around them are like themselves. You assume this because when you have a book you don't want to be bothered. I call this, "Like Me Disease". That approach works just fine when the people around you are like you, but it becomes a source of conflict when those around you are different from you. In most cases, the folks who walk up and talk to you when you are reading are merely treating you the way they would want to be treated if they were the one holding the book. I have discovered, particularly since I am a somewhat rare personality type, that if I apply the Golden Rule the way I feel like it should be applied, that being, to strive to make others feel respected, and/or accepted, the way I want others to make me feel respected, and/or accepted by them, I need to discover what makes those others feel respected and/or accepted, which might not be the same behavior for them, as what makes me feel that way.


Well, if your neighbor considers you to be a friend, then the dynamics of the situation may be different. She may welcome your interruption to have the pleasure of chatting with you.

That is because in the past, many of the folks they encountered who came on too fast, ended up having an ulterior motive like seeking their "MRS" degree, or wanting to use or manipulate them for their own purpose rather than genuinely wanting to be a friend.


My college Music Theory Professor had a humorous way of describing people who liked to complain about their pains and ills. She said, "They enjoy giving me organ recitals".

Dress naked, chew big gums, jumping while slapping your *ss while saying "PINGAS"

Ummm, and these are things that you would expect to be considered more acceptable by a group of Aspies?

I can say that the animal thing is true. My aspie friends might not mind so much, but NT's really can get weirded out. My boyfriend Makes Lovely growls. I enjoy the sound. Like animals they all mean something different. But NT's don't understand.

Some of these are really good tips.

Don't over complement them. One complement works to start a friendship (has worked several times with me, but beware some of the ones who accept complements are more liely to be "fake" friends) But many works to scare them off.

I must be the hottest person on the planet then xD

Wow! who knew, eh?

Say "hello" without appending their name. Everytime.