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MindBlind
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13 Feb 2010, 7:16 pm

To the OP:

Let it all out. Express your anger and confliction as much as you want because this is a haven section and everyone is aloud to have a good b***h about their lives. It seems to me that an outlet for those feelings would be more beneficial for you than to force you to use a positive attitude (which works for me, but not everyone).

I know these words really mean nothing when your life is s**t, but I hope things get better.

PS: You don't need God to love your life.

source: I'm an atheist and I still think life is beautiful.



Jellybean
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14 Feb 2010, 8:00 am

I feel a lot like the OP too. I struggle every day to come to terms with my life. I spent many years getting attacked just for existing and then people come to me and tell me to just 'get on with it' (thanks dad...). Okay, I am not speaking for everyone on this site, we all have ASD but we are all different. Even Aspergers is on a spectrum though. As far as I can see, there are some with AS who can live a 'normal' life with not too many problems, some who struggle to stay alive because they are so depressed (me) and some who are sort of in between. Maybe the OP is depressed at the moment. I speak with hatred and anger towards my AS when I am depressed. Heck, I would NEVER say my AS is a good thing... well apart from the fact that I am good at helping people to understand AS at my home... Oh I don't know...


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Meow101
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17 Feb 2010, 7:44 pm

I am just starting to accept that I may have AS. I consider it a mixed bag. It's not all wonderful, it's not all bad. It's just me. Some things about it REALLY suck, like ppl thinking you're quirky or even weird, like ppl thinking you don't care or don't love or don't feel when it's just that you can't do the things that other ppl do to express it, even when you *are trying*. Nothing gets me angrier faster than the pervasive "you don't try". As a matter of fact, I DO try. *argh* OTOH, my extreme, somewhat obsessive interest and curiosity about things that I like have resulted in a lot of good things. AS doesn't preclude the development of one's talents, but it does get in the way sometimes when you don't meet the social expectations of others. Overall I cannot see it as a good thing, at least not at this point, because it almost wrecked my marriage, I don't have a close relationship with my brothers, and I think that it interferes with my career, though not nearly as much as it does my personal life. I can "fake" a lot of the superficial social stuff I need to for my career, but not 24/7.
~Kate



Omerik
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18 Feb 2010, 6:21 pm

I prefer being hated for who I am than loved for who I'm not.

Hating life is okay. It's admitting its problems. I couldn't love my life right now if I haven't hated them at first.

About loving Asperger's - for years, I suffered many conditions, and just wished I wouldn't have been born. Once I got over it, I feel better than I ever thought was possible. Just because I love my life now doesn't mean I can't relate to your feelings. I've been there. I know how it feels. I was dead from the inside for years.

Another thing to remember - not all problems are because of the condition, and it's not like the entire NT population is happy. Could have been somebody? You ARE somebody! You are that much somebody, that you feel different. How can you be more somebody than that?

About learning talents - I thought I can't write, today people tell me it's what I do the best. I'm just creative enough to think, and to put my thoughts. I even found out that all those ideas and opinions I were ashamed of, are things that people are interested in sometimes, because of the way I explain them. Not speaking about talents as a whole - not all NTs are talented, I am autistic and at least partially a linguistic savant. So being NT doesn't make you have more natural skills.

About being likeable - you can always find people to talk with, even on the internet. If you're different, you're also special. Furthermore, I was shut down for years, but now apparently people like me, one of the reasons IS autism. I'm someone special, so they say. They sometimes laugh, they sometimes question, but they all say I'm a good friend, and I'm not like other people, so they like that about me. Could I be like this without autism? I don't think so.

The key is to find the people and things you do enjoy. And they are out there.
How old are you (keep in mind the social problems can move away after high school)?
What are your interests?

(In case you log back, because I see you haven't replied since January. Also, can be directed to any other person who feels like this)



CaptainTrips222
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21 Feb 2010, 4:48 am

I can understand where the OP is coming from. Not everything that went wrong in my life comes back to AS (or whatever I have) but it hindered me something horrible. Part of growing up and learning coping skills comes from interacting and socializing with your peers. You learn a LOT from being around others... at least society assumes you do. Having this condition made it that much harder. Any other diagnosis or syndrome somebody has adds that much more stress to an already confusing and painful situation.

You also have to keep in mind, not everyone gets a diagnosis, or finds effective help in time. It makes for a major "What the **** is wrong with me?" frame of mind.



seaweasel
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08 Mar 2010, 7:25 pm

I hate aspergers too, but there is nothing I can do about it. Ive only had a couple of friends in my life, but only say a total of 3 or 4 with 1 true friend. I am 19 and i feel like i am "behind in life". I dont have a drivers license where everyone who is 19 does, ive never had a job, never had a girlfriend. This year i hope is a turning point for me. I am now in college doing ok, still dont have any friends but i really dont care about that anymore. I hope to get my license by the end of the year, If i dont that is ok because i am only a train ride away from Boston where my college is.



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08 Mar 2010, 7:26 pm

I am so happy I am not like anyone else


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Fickle_Pickle
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09 Mar 2010, 3:53 am

Eggman wrote:
I am so happy I am not like anyone else


I feel the exact opposite! But I'm still trying to make ones who are feel miserable. :twisted:



Friskeygirl
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09 Mar 2010, 4:34 am

Eggman wrote:
I am so happy I am not like anyone else

Your always seem so positive Eggman



Fickle_Pickle
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09 Mar 2010, 7:28 am

Friskeygirl wrote:
Eggman wrote:
I am so happy I am not like anyone else

Your always seem so positive Eggman


LMAO!



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09 Mar 2010, 9:39 am

I used to blame Aspergers for al my pain. And then I realised that the pain came from the outside, from the daily rejections I get from other people. I seem okay by myself. I think other people bring out the worst in Aspies and make them turn against themselves. But that's just what I think.



Thom_Fuleri
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09 Mar 2010, 2:03 pm

It isn't the Aspergers that makes your life miserable. It certainly doesn't help, but it's not the cause. Blaming it for all your woes is pointless and merely means you aren't focusing on what IS making you miserable.

I grew up "different", and I hated it. I was bullied, I was the outsider, I never understood what was going on. I also got a lot of support, especially after I was diagnosed, and now I'm almost normal, I have a relationship, a home and a good job. I hold a driving licence, I have friends, and I look in the mirror at a man who's likeable, intelligent and has a lot to offer.

This didn't happen overnight. It took years of gradual change, getting to stop hating myself and learning how to cope with other people. It isn't easy, it isn't pleasant and it takes a lot of time and effort - it's much easier to wallow in misery and blame your condition for your terrible life than to do anything about it!



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10 Mar 2010, 7:12 am

Desiderata

The famous poem Desiderata was written over 50 years ago, however, the words of wisdom in this inspirational poetry still applies today.
"Desiderata"
Written by Max Ehrmann in 1927

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
And remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly & clearly;
and listen to others, even the dull & ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud & aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain & bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing future of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.

Especially, do not feign affection.

Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity & disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue & loneliness.
Beyond wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees & the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labours & aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery & broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.


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DavidM
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10 Mar 2010, 4:33 pm

DarkBBastion wrote:
Everyday, I think about how if I only could have been born like everybody else, without this burden. It's not fair. Because of aspergers, nobody really likes me, nobody is my friend. I don't play any sports or instruments or anything, because I have no talents.

Nobody in my life understands my position, and nobody cares to, or listens to me. I feel like people are playing a cruel joke with me and my life, driving me to frustration and apathy.

I feel like I can never love another human being, and I can't trust anybody. Life isn't fair, and I don't believe in god. I think of all the bad things that happen in the world, and try to man up, but it stull hurts, and I can't help but a feel like I'm dying inside.

I hate life.



That is exactly what it is like. Nobody likes you and they never will unless you change which you can't because you have this developmental disorder called 'Asperger's'. And yes, life without an active social component is a 'cruel joke' and you probably won't ever love another human being and even if you do, they won't love you.

And you are dying inside.

And none of this will ever change no matter how many soothing words anyone offers you.



syzygyish
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11 Mar 2010, 6:44 am

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt120039.html


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Kilroy
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11 Mar 2010, 6:58 am

lol the fork thing was awesome
and true too