Seriously, why is there so much Misogyny on WrongPlanet?!

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I can usually tell the difference between someone not having much knowledge or understanding of what they're saying, and someone who is deliberately pushing people's buttons or trolling. With the former, I try not to get angry at them personally, as it can make them feel embarrassed or guilty. Instead I just try to educate them, but still making their point valid if they're only making a point and not trying to troll. Obviously if an insult or criticism is directed at me personally then I'll get upset, probably because of RSD and the feeling of being humiliated. Or if it's a generalized accusation that is making a group of people look bad when they're not. But when it's a general statement with no malicious intent then I try not to lash out at the user. We can't all have the same ideas and opinions.
I'm a woman but I don't really get sensitive to sexist things. The only offensive stereotypes about my identity I get offended about is ASD (although I don't believe it makes up my whole identity, it's just something I have been diagnosed with).

My theory (or whatever it is, for lack of a better term) is that a lot of guys who post these kind of threads are just more upset that they cannot have a physical aspect of a relationship more than an emotional one. That's what they seem to care about the most, what they can get to get off, so to speak. A woman is just a device for selfish whims.

I tend to think it's a combination of some men here not having many opportunities to get to know women well as friends, coworkers, etc. and through these relationships learning we're people, too, instead of some mysterious "other," as well as the sense of anonymity that the internet can provide emboldening them to tell everyone what they really think. I say this because I've attended a lot of ASD meet-ups and in-person support groups over the years and can probably count on one hand the number of mysogynist attitudes I've heard expressed to my face.

Hello Alex, thank you so much for personally replying to this thread!! Honestly, I didn't expect to see you on here, but I completely agree with your perspective!!

I'll start by clarifying that I understand you're a good person with good intentions.

I get the feeling that would result in less people seeing our threads, and thus, less support.


Yes, I know you're coming from a good place.


It isn't fair that so many of us are struggling so much with getting dates either. It's nobody's fault that there are so many of us dealing with this, and this being one of the few autism forums around, it only makes sense that there would be a lot of us here.

I don't understand why a large number of men posting about their difficulties getting dates means nobody else with different issues feels comfortable posting in the same subforum. I thought the problem was that other users' posts and problems were met with a hostile or dismissive reception, in which case the solution is to discipline users who are giving that negative reception.


Doesn't that just put The Haven at the same risk of being clogged with threads by lonely men?

Yes, everybody is entitled to their thoughts. I felt compelled to share mine.

The K.I.S.S. principle.
Me like.

Agreed.
ATTITUDE is very important.
Some ppl have no intention of causing offense.
Educating them why it MIGHT be offensive seems to be a more rational/ethical approach than attacking them.

The following is an observation accrued over decades:
Unfortunately, some people WEAPONISE PC.
Some ppl use it to shut down legitimate debate.
Some ppl simply want to dominate the situation.
Naughty "some ppl".

A bit harsh, but I take your point.
It takes all kinds.

Hold your head up, Cornflake.

Let's remember what can happen when we ask for e.g. goldfish, we know his beliefs are very different about women and men. He's gay, but very different from you.

One side beliefs are biased, people have been misandrist, so asking bisexual people would be better, but it's not about things like gender, sexual orientation only. It's about the mind and opinion, the rules people have.

I think you would only need a dicktionary, awareness and empathy for both sides to decide, because the beliefs of female members will continue to bash heads.

Women hate incels and incels hate women, it's a fact. But regardlessly, it's better if I don't let my sexual bias decide the wp rights of the other side. Their honest opinion is no skin off my chest, and I don't take it seriously if I don't believe it's true.

We often notice females have motherly instincts towards incels because we know it's not a great life, and I think that's positive. If someone overexerts themselves working on incels not knowing when to stop it's not the incels' fault. But even guys display empathy towards them and add the input. What does it take to become an incel? Maybe partly autism. We all share that and know the hardship coming with it.

Incels are like minorities, we might not like them but what's fair is right. We shouldn't be entitled to remove them from the site or limit them from expressing who they are and naturally what they believe, and reap the unreasonable beliefs by joining as a community to help them. That is what an autistic community does, help each other in the issues in their lives, not run away from the responsibilities. It's shared, so no one needs to post if they can't handle them. And there's an ignore app where threads and people can be ignored. At least on the computer.

I find these comments offensive on behalf of the 33% of young cis-men who are never going to have a relationship with a woman, the vast majority of whom are decent and don't look at women as objects and have nothing to do with incel culture

It’s perfectly fair to remove misogynist/misandrist/transphobic/etc comments because they are against the forum’s rules and guidelines which are clearly stated in stickies. Sexist comments are harmful, especially for those who’ve experienced various forms of sexism or sexual exploitation.

There are forums dedicated to sexist ideologies and other manifestations of hate. If people want to engage in such discussions, they are free to seek out such forums. However, I wouldn’t recommend it.

WP feels less inclusive when it is overrun by such nonsense. Diverse groups of people could feel hesitant to even participate. If sexist remarks were allowed, I think WP would quickly become an Incel echo chamber.

In my experience, it’s very difficult, if not impossible, to reason with people who adhere to ideologies. It’s best to avoid having those discussions altogether and remove sexist threads/posts/comments as they arise.

It would help if you stopped labelling people incels

Who specifically have I called an Incel? When have I ever used that term? I’ve never called anyone on here one before.

I was primarily responding to Rexi’s comment.

I find it fascinating that this was your sole response to my post.

Sometimes I see posters who seem coherent the majority of the time suddenly have mush for brains , and it's usually because of an inflammatory topic. This post is not aimed at anyone particular in the cyberverse.

*awaits reports of instances*

Many people on this site are damaged from life experience and confronting them is futile. At the same time they should be allowed to post as they wish if doing so doesn’t make this community less safe. It's up to the mods to oversee this process however the mods don't report to me so my observation is probably also futile.