ways of coping with your depression and building self esteem

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Think positively or just give up.

I like to garden or design flying toys. I let my plants get really big so they neighbors can enjoy the flowers too!

I don't know if it's relevent to the topic or not (it's close), but for the last 2 weeks I've been waking up every morning at 5 o'clock, (which is not my getting up time), and then I can't get back to sleep again. I toss and turn, and by the time I do manage to fall asleep again, I oversleep way past my getting up time (which is 9 o'clock - and I have to leave the house at 10 o'clock to get to my volunteer job). But I find myself waking up again at 11 o'clock - which is way past my planned time to get up, so I've had to come to my volunteer job late (lucky I'm not being paid!) It doesn't matter what time I go to bed - I still wake up at bang on 5 o'clock, and it really mucks my morning up. I can't just get up at that time because life's boring and lonely enough for me. Usually I go through phases of waking up at that time, but it always just lasts 3 or 4 days, then my body clock is back to normal again - but lately I haven't been breaking the habit.

I'm worried because when I do find a paid job, I'm scared this is what's going to happen. I'm scared I'll oversleep every morning, then end up getting the sack. I have tried an alarm, but I can't just set it for 9 o'clock and get straight up, because when I wake up my body needs time to wake up properly, and I have put it on snooze before, but I went back to sleep and slept right through the next times the alarm went off. I fall asleep fine at night time, and I just wish I would wake up at about 8, like I normally do. I don't know what to do to get me back into my normal sleep routine again.

I looked on Google about this, and it said that something might be bothering me, or I might be feeling more anxious about something than usual, and I think it may be right. But I can't just wave a magic wand and make all my anxiety go away - I'm always going to be an anxious person, so avoiding anxiety is out of the question. I don't know what else to do to get my body clock back to normal.

My depression hits me at the most weird of times. Usually at work or at home, what I try and do about it is escapism, but if that isn't an option. I distract myself doing anything I can, and thinking about good times I've had over the past few days/weeks. I also remind myself that I've got no reason to be depressed, my life is good! I've good friends, an amazing, loving and beautiful girlfriend who cares for me. And I'm attempting to get a new job.

Another good one for me at least is painting, I play Tabletop wargames (Warhammer 40k and Warmachine if interested) And I find painting is a good, fun and relaxing activity which you can get caught up in and forget what's going on. When you produce something you are proud of, it gives you a good confidence boost in yourself.

I haven't had much luck in my life. It's all very well people on here putting, ''oh pull yourself together, stop whinging and go get a life,'' because that is not always the case (and it isn't a very helpful thing to say to someone). Some Aspies may have more self-esteem and confidence than others, and that can sometimes depend on the circumstances in your life. I won't go into detail with all the problems and stresses in my life, but I come from one of those families who every person has a big crisis what they can't handle (eg, marriages splitting up, children being caught up in divorces, people being depressed, people being ill, ect). I'll say one thing - my nan has Alzheimer's - and that is not funny. It's no good to just saying, ''big deal - that's her problem, not your's'' because that is not a cool thing to say. The situation is much worse than you think - nobody here knows me well enough to start lecturing me to forget about the problems in my family, because I love my family so much and we are all close.

Sorry if I sound a bit stubborn there, but I've had other Aspies on other threads telling me to get on with it and get a life. I'm not saying any of you on this thread are saying that - I'm just saying that I have a feeling I will get some sort of rude reply on this thread by someone else.

Anyway - back to the self-confidence thing. I am helping myself. I'm on job-seekers at the moment, but I busy myself doing voluntry work at a charity shop, and I get up and go in every day - I'm not just sitting around on my own at home. I'm making friends there and also gaining experience, and I've given myself a structure so that when I do get a paid job it won't suddenly become a big strain. I've passed my driving test, but I can't afford to get a car because I haven't got a job yet, and anyway I enjoy getting the bus to get to my volunteer job, using my free buspass. So I'm doing all that to build my confidence, so at least I'm trying to help myself. I'm not just sitting about at home by myself all day whining that I'm bored and lonely and unconfident. I'm getting out there and trying different things and meeting different people, and that's all that matters. My confidence still isn't great, and do have a lot of stress with anxiety, but I'm still trying my hardest to do something with my life. I'm proud of myself there.

Listening to my favourite music (mostly orchestral) either makes me feel content or excited, depending on the nature of the piece itself.
Reading philosophies about the wrongness of common views makes me feel a lot better, especially as since a young age I had opinions about this and finding out that some of the wisest men throughout history agree with me.
Did you know that Aristotle and Immanuel Kant, probably the two most influential philosophers in the history of humanity, are suspected to have had Asperger Syndrome? I like to imagine being having my name added to the list of the greatest philosophers...

...sigh...

I stop over analyzing and being perfectionistic about everything. That helps a good deal.

The things that help me with depression:

1. Vigorous exercise

2. Star Trek Fanfiction

3. Chocolate.

I'm supposed to go to this music thing in half an hour..and I'm getting so paranoid.I intentionally ate food that upset my stomach so I have an excuse not to go.I feel so pathetic..I just get so nervous,going somewhere I am not familiar with,what if it is too loud,too many people...so I just give up on myself,and that's the worst part. I miss out on life because I worry too much.

If you've fallen into a pattern of cynical thought, train your self to be optimistic instead of pessimistic. If you think that doing this is somehow a bias or it's wrong to force yourself to think this way, then the cynicism bias is just as "wrong". At least training yourself to think otherwise makes you happier. Also, at least in my case, I think it's leveled out away from optimism or pessimism to relative realism.
If you feel trapped in your thoughts, like they keep cycling and repeating, try a way to change what you think about.
Remember that there's always hope. You don't know your future. Even set a possible goal for yourself - a reason to keep going.
Don't judge yourself in ways you wouldn't judge someone else. Don't beat yourself up for failing to do this.
If you can, turn to a pet who's always there for you. My dog was my best friend when I was depressed.
Retreat to a comfortable place when you need to let your emotions out - crying etc. Small, dark spaces are good.
Find a way to express yourself, like art. Also writing can help, though if you have trouble,say, maintaining a journal, having an audience (ex. penpal) can help you keep it up.
No matter how repetitive life may seem, it's fundamentally dynamic. Keep going - it will change in time.