Rants

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Yes, such drivers are just jerks. I'm sorry they treat you like that, they need to get some manners.

They also do it when women are pushing a baby/toddler in a pram. You've just got them off to sleep and you're pushing them along enjoying the peace and quiet for once, and some man in a vehicle hoots or starts his engine to make the baby/toddler wake up and cry. They enjoy seeing the woman jump and get upset, and have to calm the child down again. Such men are jerks.

I'm sick of people assuming that one isolated incident of someone losing their temper or snapping means they are a bad person and need to be immediately ditched.

If someone is kind and helpful 99% of the time but has a bad day and snaps 1% of the time, it's surely better to ask 'are you okay?' 'do you want to talk about it?' Or some other thoughtful question.

It seems that in modern life, someone can be kind and helpful most of the time yet THE MINUTE they have a bad day/feel ill/tired etc and say something snappy, BOOM that must mean they are a bad person and should be immediately excluded/blocked/cancelled.

What happened to tolerance and logic? 'Oh, that person is usually kind and helpful, I wonder why they just snapped at me? Could they be having a problem/ going through a bad situation?' Nope. It's just BOOM, bye bye, you're not allowed to have any feelings or problems.

That's why I hate car horns. They're so sudden. I like the old-fashioned car horns, they were more like "beep beep". They should make car horns sound loud enough to be heard by other road users when need be but not a tone that's so sudden and deafening. I HATE sudden loud noises, and I think the most hardest thing about being on the spectrum or ADHD is living in a society that relies on loud sudden noises to alert people. Especially when some idiots like being heard and act like 2-year-olds with a toy.

People are driving me mad about the Queen's death.

I posted that I felt sorry for the king losing his mother so quickly after his father, and people jumped on me to say how rich and privileged he is and I shouldn't waste my sympathy. Well it's my sympathy to decide what to do with, thank you very much.

I posted to say the king looked sad and exhausted, and people jumped on me to say of course he's sad and exhausted, he's just lost his mother and had to do lots of complicated legal stuff in public when he should be resting. I know all that, I was just making an observation that the photo made me feel sorry for him.

So I'll be keeping off social media and its devil's advocates taking the opposite view to annoy others, causing arguments all the time for no reason

I keep thinking about the fact that my mom texted me and tried to make me think that my dog choked to death in an attempt to get me to talk to her. I honestly f*****g hate her. I can't wait until she passes away and I never have to worry about her meddling in my life again.

What was I so afraid of, all those years ago. Why did I have to hide things from everybody and not just my parents? The truth did come out in the end. I preferred Germany over Britain my entire life. I identified as male my whole life. I felt like a trapped German soldier in Mods clothing for most of my adult life. I kept the secret very well from 1986 until the January of 2016. I had 7 breakdowns in the process. One in 1990, one in 92, one in 98, one in 07, one in 09, one in 2012 and the last one in very early 2016. I haven't had any breakdowns since 2016.

It was really hectic at work today. 5 other people had to help my department of 7 people out, because there was too many clothes, plus another machine kept breaking so we had to stop working a couple of times which made it worse. There were so many people, bins and racks everywhere in our department that I felt like I was going to panic. I was even shaking a little bit when we were finally done because I was so stressed out. I couldn't even ask anyone anything because I went mute from it, and I barely was able to respond when two of my coworkers asked me a question. This is probably one of the worst experiences I've had at work.

It's perfectly fine for some people to winge, moan, gripe and complain, constantly and make everything about themselves with absolutely no regard for other people.

It's perfectly OK for some people to express bigotry, hatred and spew absolute untempered hatred about everyone and everything that breathes and moves.

It's perfectly fine for some people to show no common courtesy or give thanks to anyone who tries to help them.

But it's never OK to call them out.

Shame on them and shame on their enablers

Two old ladies thought it would go on about how shameful it is that I need my personal space yesterday around this time. My mind has been walking the streets of London since that incident. People should really think before they open their mouths. I wonder if it might bee the coffee that I've been drinking that's also doing that to my mind.

I have seriously given up on people.

Obviously I am a nice person and I try to be helpful, kind, friendly to others.

But THE MINUTE I have a bad moment e.g. tired, hungry, scared (you know, a normal human emotion! Like humans have) I get people saying 'ah we knew your mask would fall off soon' 'you're not as nice as we thought' etc.

Basically saying 'you're not allowed to have emotions, you must be perfect 24/7.' 'you having problems is all about ME! You've hurt ME by daring to have a problem of your own.'

I've given up trying to connect to others because of this, because sooner or later I 'sin' by daring to have an emotion. After which I am excluded and left out.

I am human. I am not perfect. I have emotions. Let me live. Or maybe I'll just stop communicating.