scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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Actually, I did get in, I chose not to go because of the class offering schedule.

I am only at MSU because I couldn't afford the University of Washington.

Tim

5. I have 2 exams left, and whenever I sneeze I get a sharp pain in my stomach.

-10

I don't stand a chance of ever finding anyone due to being a full-time college student who is older than 23.

Tim

Why not get a part-time job so you won't be unemployed?

No, people want guys with full-time jobs. Part-time jobs won't cut it with NTs.

Tim

Women are like that, Tim. Theydon't care what your end objectives are, or what you're going to do with your life. If they don't see flashy money-spending that they can get into, they'll dump you.

If you run into any more chicks like that, tell them the only way they're going to see that quantity of bills from you is if they get on stage with a pole.

As for me, 5...

I'm trying to arrange swapping schedules with a co-worker, and trying to keep the reasons secret. As far as they know, my folks need an extra pair of hands to get ready for Christmas Ships, but in reality, I'm trying to get into a job interview.

It feels like I'm stabbing them in the back, and I am, but apparently NTs consider this dishonesty normal. Being up front about seeking better employment, or keeping an ear open for a career I've been hoping to snag has always prevented me from landing even worthless fast-food jobs, because the NTs expect me to stick around as though I'm going to make something of myself with "do you want fries with that?"

I even had a ton of people at college ask if I was going to start a pizza business with my degree, just because of the number of times I fell back into pizza delivery work for temporary employment. What the h*** is wrong with these people? Do they not understand the concept of working where you can until you find something better? Isn't that the ENTIRE CONCEPT of America (that whole pursuit of happiness, climb the corporate ladder thing)?

So, if lie, cheat, and steal I must, lie, cheat, and steal I will. I don't seem to have the same difficulties with lying as other Aspies, and because of my Aspie label, it just adds in the deception.

Now only if the cops would not single me out because I seem too formal and out of place, and I could practically get away with anything I wanted.

-1, still getting up there.

Got an A on my economics test. I may break even on the -10 to +10 scale soon.

Tim

right now about a 2

0, broke even, as promised.

Next week, I will be on vacation with my family.

Tim

A minus. Don't know which one, but it's in there. I'm alone in the house and every sound is bothering me, so I turned on music to mask stuff and distract me, but I can't put it that loud as it's after 2am.. but sounds are making me jump.. and my partner isn't home from work yet. I don't mind him doing his own thing; I'm not worried or anything as I know he can hold his own, but I am close to a meltdown and he isn't here and it scares me.

Feeling very manic and anxious.

I can't imagine paying out-of-state costs. It's basically like going to a private university.

There were some schools in Oklahoma and Arkansas that would let me pay their state's tuition, but those places are just as conservative as where I am now.

Texas supposedly has a "sister state" program with Wyoming, but I don't think I'd want to live there either.

Tim

2. I am stupid, I am useless, I will never get anywhere in life, and I should be executed.
/whining self-pity

3, sick all day.
realized something i didnt siooner but i wish i had, i knew id have to deal with it all eventually though, but f**k it it cant be changed.
I also felt dizzy, thats gone now so i am up.
i dont feel me at all, its like i am a different person with headaches and dizzyness and weird bursts of cobnversation and speaking... but still feeling sick

6! I feel good. Better than in a long time. Depression is manageable.


I just caught a random whiff of Chicago Pizza, which reminded me of when Terrance fed random people at the Y... he put the pizza on the table in the computer room and just told people who came in to help themselves! Sometimes I have random hallucinations with my sense of smell; I hope I don't have a brain tumor!