Rants

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one of my youyube videos went over 50,000 views, and i was sent an automated email from youtube that asked for my permission for them to place their ads on my account for a fee paid to me.

it said i would get $10 for every 1000 views of any video i have on my page, and i became worried. the video that has more than 50,000 views is of me flooring my car while filming the speedo from 0-170 kph.

if youtube places ad's on my page automatically because i have had many views on a video, and if that video is banned later due to police requests to ban fast driving videos, then i may be able to be sued under some clause or another by youtube for associating their "brand" with my video that was later banned due to illegality.

also i have some videos where i play my version of copyrighted songs on my synthesized piano, and they are not trapped and rejected by the "copyright music" analysis software.

if youtube posts ads on my page, then they will ensure i am high up on their search index, and i will get many more viewers from which some are sure to complain about the copyrights pertinent to the backing music of some of my videos.

i ignored youtubes offer to pay me money for accepting their ads on my youtube page.

B9---I think I would be hesitant to take the offer too. I believe you are doing the right thing to not do this.

Ok---time for my rant:

I got up before 5 AM this morning so that I could see the meteor shower. I thought about how peaceful it would be outside. So I get outside and---the noisy garbage truck is already picking up the neighborhood garbage. And then there is a parade of bright-light cars going to work at the major employer down the road---the next shift was going to work. Gee---where can one find peacefulness these days? Well, I'm not real bothered about this event, but still, it is frustrating.

This evening I took my two sons and mother to the local restaurant that serves home-cooked meals (while my wife was teaching a knitting class out of town). This restaurant has always been so well run. I needed a nice evening. The owner/waitress walked past our table without acknowledging us---and it took 10 minutes to get the menu and place our order. And she wasn't friendly---as she has always been in the past. After ordering, it took 50 minutes to get our salads, and another 10 minutes to get our dinners. And this was happening to the few other people in the restaurant too. This restaurant has been a comfortable haven for my eating over the past year---I have made it a part of my routine. But after this evening, I have a funny feeling about it. I fear there is something wrong with the owner---she has had serious health issues in the past. Maybe she is sick again.

I hope my father dies in agony after having to spend years depending on someone who derides his every effort to gain the means to break away, and who refuses to see that he is in agony, instead calling it "laziness".
I'll tell the truth about him at his funeral, and I'll dance on his grave.

Some nurse on the phone asked if I have anxiety. I told her that I didn't. The truth is that I do have it. Do you want to know what causes it? Society. Mainstream society causes my anxiety. Another thing that causes anxiety for me, is talking on the phone. I'm friends with society girl who likes to talk on the phone. Society is something that's never agreed with me. A man has to be a certain way and a woman has to be a certain way. Everybody has to listen to soft rock, or top 40. I have no time, or patience for that. I also don't like people dictating what my strengths and weeknesses are, when they're way off the mark, 90% of the time. Since when has Canada become a dictatorship. It is in my parents' home. Acording to my mum, I have to be like everybody else in Canada. I'd rather live my life like a Londoner, thankyou. I'm happiest when I'm sipping on a cup of tea and listening to The Kinks, dressed in the colours red, white and blue. I want to buy some red, white and blue clothes for next summer. That's all I have to say. I wore red, white and blue, before I got into Austin Powers and his movies.

College. I did not want to go, but my parents and friends said oh, you'll like it once you try it. FAIL!
Since I didn't want to go in the first place, I have no motivation to do well. All my classes either are insanely easy, have a good professor, or are a subject I enjoy. But no, those people there don't care and I feel like I'm wasting time and money that isn't even mine to do and learn nothing. I'm not failing, cept maybe one class, but I don't care or study.

My stepbrother is in the hospital. Again. He won't take care of his diabetes and apparently he's been out of insuline for days.

I was tired because my friends dragged me to Art Club, where they pointed out my social fail repeatedly. I never wanted to go anyway.

Mom is angry, because she doesn't like my stepbrother. She yelled at me when I didn't jump up quick enough to get my things out of the living room.

My sister keeps slamming things around, because she was forced to do work that she doesn't want to do. I wish she'd stop. I sit in my room with my iPod and wish my blankets could just swallow me up so I don't have to deal with people again. I don't want to go to school tomorrow, because art class has suddenly become socially demanding. I spent all period shaking uncontrollably because a guy sat next to me. I could barely even doodle.

And then I have to go to a party with my dad and his new girlfriend, and god I want to come down with the flu so I don't have to go. I'm so tired. Friday night is for holing myself up somewhere to relax after a week of school, not for going out partying.

My birthday is coming up. I don't want anyone to come. I don't even want my "best friend" there, but she is coming anyway. I just want to disappear for a few days. I need to recuperate. But I can't

I usually write much more eloquently than this, but right now I just don't care about making it flow nicely.

Back in March, I met a guy through another male friend, a friend who is like a brother to me. From the moment I met this other guy, I was in love. He didn't have to say a word and I felt as though I already knew everything about him. We started talking and found that we have a lot in common. I didn't even feel too anxious talking to him, even though getting me to talk is usually like trying to pull teeth on an unsedated child. We got along really well, but I didn't see him much for awhile because he wasn't in any of my classes.

This semester, he's in my lunch period, which I originally thought was great. Until a girl who is friends with a few people at our table (including him) moved from her original seat next to a different guy to the seat right between me and the guy I'm in love with. She's so incredibly annoying. Every time I try to talk to him, she butts in with her own comment. She's always trying to monopolize his attention and I just want to ring her neck. Today he said teased me about something I did, so I whacked him lightly on the head because I read that a good way to flirt is to hit a guy lightly when he teases you. So right after I hit him, she immediately started stroking and caressing his head. I wanted to scream. I can't stand her. Whenever lunch is over, she walks with him in the hallway and talks to him. Two weeks ago she hugged him for no apparent reason. Today, she grabbed his hand to "check for sanity". I don't know if he thinks she's annoying or if he likes her attention but I think I'm ten times more attractive than she is and I don't insert myself into everyone's business and I don't throw my hands all over people. I can't stand her and I want her to go away and never come back. I was doing just fine until she came along and ruined everything. I just want to scream and cry and tell her that I hate her. It's not fair. I want her to GO AWAY FOREVER!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !

I tell my mother about this girl, but my mother doesn't understand my concern. She just laughed when I showed her the girl's yearbook picture and said that she wasn't a threat. She thinks that this guy, who's really introverted like me, thinks this girl is annoying and just doesn't know how to get rid of her. As I said, I have no idea what he thinks of this girl because I don't know how to "read" people and I really don't want to know because this girl is ruining my life and stealing his attention and it's not fair because things like this happen every time I'm in love with a guy because I'm too quiet and I don't know how to act like a girl and I never know what to do but I think I would have had a decent chance if only she didn't come along. I want her to disappear and never ever ever come back. Ever.

I'm sick of my husband not understanding that i'm not him. He doesn't understand that for me being social and making friends doesn't come easy. That I can't just strike up a conversation with anyone I feel like talking to and that it takes alot of energy to actually put myself out there and invest time and energy into making a friend. And on the rare occation where I make a friend all on my own... my own friend, not our friend by MY friend- he has to pick at my new friendship. "well what happened?" "Why did she say that?" As if I haven't already questioned my every move enough already! I hang out with this person once a week and he picks at that too! One day out of the whole week I get out of the house and spend time with another human being that can not only tollerate me but likes hanging out with me! To me that's an acomplishment. I'm proud of me that i've made a friend but it's like no matter how much I express that to him he still tries finding ways of making it seem like i'm the bad guy for having a friend. He just doesn't *#$%ing get it!

I am the church organist at the church I attend. I am getting bothered by this one choir member (an older man who has had a stroke) who insists every Sunday morning by greeting me with a hard rap on my shoulder blade. I am really tired of this. I don't like to be touched---especially like this. It is making me react like---last Sunday he did it while I was waiting in the hallway outside of the choir practice room---I immediately hit the wall with my fist. Since he was quickly walking into the room, he didn't notice I hit the wall. I hit the wall because it was a release of the tension/uncomfortableness his rap caused me.

How do I deal with this? How do I not hurt his feelings by telling him I don't want hit/rapped? Geez...I just don't want touched this way---it really causes me discomfort.

A rant thread? This is perfect.

When watching favourite shows or movies, I usually wait until I'm home alone or everyone's gone to bed so I won't get interrupted. Tonight, however, was an important episode of Doctor Who and I didn't want to wait so I nicely asked my parents to please not interrupt me for the next hour and a half while I watched it. Four minutes before the end of the show, during a ridiculously emotional part of the episode, my mom opens my door, says something, and closes it again, totally throwing me off my immersion in the show. After the show ended and I dried my tears (it was freakin sad), I went out and asked why my mom had interrupted me when I had asked her not to. Her response was that she wasn't interrupting, she was just opening the door to wave at me. What?! How is that not interrupting?!?!?! And then she says I'm being "excessive" for being annoyed at her for that. It might be "excessive" if I hadn't asked her not to interrupt, but because I did, I think I'm allowed to be slightly angry that she did something when I specifically asked her not to.

Anyway, I just had to get that out because I'd like to move on and just sit and enjoy the afterglow of the brilliant episode of Doctor Who I just watched.

I can't keep food down lately, which I sort of like because I can lose weight and don't have to abuse laxatives but I hate the constant nausea that accompanies this

I now have tissue damage to my right thumb after dislocating it before Christmas

_________________
I'm a writer, not a fighter and my pen is always loaded.

Magnús Scheving is my Icelandic rose

I'm not doing it. Whatever it is, I'm not doing it. Unless I want to do it, or I like doing it, or it benefits me, my family or friends and I agree. Otherwise, the answer is no.

'No' is an even better word than 'yes'.

SICKOS! STOP POSTING CHILD PORN ON DA!

_________________
I'm a writer, not a fighter and my pen is always loaded.

Magnús Scheving is my Icelandic rose

there are too many people all around and they get in my way.

i want to go in a straight line to get what i need but, i have to say "sorry" to so many people for causing them to get out of my way.

when i encounter an obstacle composed of people, i stop and stand still and say to them "sorry" and they part and let me walk through.

i am annoyed that i have to wait, and more so to have to apologize just to get to the product i want.

people are like snags that catch things that are trying to drift freely.