scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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2 . . . Frustrated and fed up with the college and the real world

Numbers are stupid. Sitting for 5 minutes trying to decide a number and having a self-argument about it is more stupider. i want to shoot people. i hate everything. i hate people. well, i like my cats. and tres leches from cafe rio. BUT, i deffinately hate everything else. and want to shoot it. i hate that "AHHHHHH!" looks silly when you type it and does not reflect the feeling of inside-head screaming at all. i have a headache. i am crying. i hate you.

About 7... but then my mood will swing a lot lol...

10.

Any day I'm not in school I'm in a good mood.

4.5

Paranoia will be the death of me.

Content is the victus...

-8

Flu is clearing up so I feel marginally better. It's just decided to swell my face so my entire head feels like it'll explode out my ear or my jaw. Or my forehead. Or all of those at once. Wouldn't be very pretty.

0 (break-even point)

Prepare for the possible return of Classic Tim in a couple of weeks.

Tim

I got to punt someone today...
*laughs* I'm about a 6

10. I'm just happy.

10. I've finnally got to play FE!

A 2, I think.

Sorry, long, whiny rant ahead.

I'm just so stressed out at the moment. And most of the problem is that I deal with stress horribly, and that just adds more stress. I have so much schoolwork to do now; I have to write at least thirty paragraphs and find supporting articles for each by Monday, and I have two papers - no, four papers, a group presentation, and a novel finished, tabbed, and questioned due at about the same time; plus, the very first (early) exams start that week. Actually, five papers (2 film lit, 3 AP English). And I've known about almost all of it for at least two weeks; two of the things (one paper and the article thing) I've known about for months. I still haven't even started.

I just suck with stress. I see the possibility of stress, and I worry about that (which equals more stress), and then when it becomes too much, I shut down and don't do anything. Only that obviously doesn't solve anything, because the papers and whatnot are still due, and being incapable of handling stress is not a good enough excuse to make them go away. I don't really want to fail. So then I'm even more stressed, so I shut down even more, and it just goes on and on and on until I get everything done, but sometimes everything doesn't get done. And to go with that, I physically stress as well; after a certain point, it hurts just to lie down, and then I don't sleep well, so I'm cranky, and I miss things, and I'm irritable, and blah.

It really is my fault; I know this. I'm a good student; to sound slightly arrogant, I don't need to worry about it, because I get good grades on everything, even things I throw together the night before or the morning that it's due. I just worry anyway, and then nothing gets done. If I didn't stress, it wouldn't be a problem; or if I didn't allow it to affect me, then it wouldn't be a problem either. But I do.

To sound even more arrogant, I don't need to go to this school. I'm good at the stuff that they teach; I pick up everything so much quicker than most people, and then I have nothing to do. To be honest, I haven't learned anything in English this year (with the slight exception of some books are really and truly duller than should be publishable; but that's an opinion, of course, a subjective thing). I don't study at all, but I pass every time; I'm in all the advanced classes I can manage, and I'm fine with it. I've always had strong grades; it's just who I am. I suck with the social stuff (which is a given), but I'm good with the stuff that requires thinking. It totally disagrees with the whole stress thing, but it's true; once I do the work, I'm absolutely fine. Honestly, I can do this stuff without a problem; I just apparently choose to create a problem.

I don't know. This isn't going the way I wanted it to; naturally, it sounded much better in my head. There were more things I had wanted to mention, and I remember the one, but I don't know if I want to fit it in or how. I'm really quite sedated at the moment, so I'll probably regret this in the morning; I'm not thinking very clearly. I'll just go to bed now; chances are I'll be ok if I stop whining.

-9
i really hate everything about me right about now.

-1. Someone just asked me if I'd join them and their friend in a threesome.