Rants

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I just want the pricks upstairs to f**k off. I have to constantly have earplugs or headphones on now every minute of the day when I'm home. I can't live like this much longer. The stress of it is weighing me down. I get stressed at work because of one person, I get stressed when I'm out because of the way people gawk at me, and I feel stressed in my own home. I can't relax. Last night it sounded like they were running in and out of every room, and it was PAINFUL. Then just as me and my boyfriend were having intimacy in bed they started marching about above our heads and clonking about. They just seem to be in every room at once. My boyfriend said to put my ear plugs in but I said that if I do that we then can't talk, because I can't hear of course.
I went into the living-room to get a drink and it sounded like elephants stomping about above.
I know they have a baby but that's no excuse to have to make all that noise, especially not at night.

I just want to hear the sound of the birds again, or the rain. There is literally nothing I can do about it. It's not simple to just move. I wish they would move. Putting a family in an upstairs apartment is just not ideal and is so unfair for the people living below. I think there should be certain rules. Yes I know these people might have been homeless with their baby (which I very much doubt), but then people shouldn't have children if they're not living in secure conditions.

I do badly want to do a swap with them but my boyfriend strictly doesn't want to. I don't really want to get into an argument with him over this. But living below them is affecting my mental health and also my physical health too. I really hate them. They have no consideration up there. They know how to work around things too. They can bang and thump up there all they like then if we retaliate they'll run to the landlords saying we're causing trouble and that they have a right to be noisy because they have a baby. So there is literally nothing we can do about it except move. Maybe that's what they want us to do. My boyfriend has been living here for 20 years with no trouble at all before, so why should we go through the stress of moving just because of two inconsiderate entitled c***s?

Joe, I've had my sessions with noisy clods upstairs and I know well how grinding it becomes with the disturbances continuing day and night. It's truly horrible and I feel for you.

But... It's a big but...
Your landlord has a responsibility to maintain an environment which you are free to hold and enjoy: he doesn't get a free pass just because he's not there experiencing the noise.

Please - seriously consider taking notes, times and durations and make a formal complaint to your landlord. You can phrase it in a "please help" tone if an outright complaint seems too aggressive or direct.
But a detailed list will help create a picture of what you're going through and how intrusive is is.

I can understand not wanting to speak to your neighbors directly - TBH it's not something I'd do either.
But once your landlord knows about the noise and pain it's causing, he should act on your neighbors - and while doing so may expose you to more noise, that becomes something more to report and this time, as an intentional and direct provocation.

There are legal protections - you can't be evicted for making a reasonable request of your landlord to do something; that's not the actions of a troublemaker or serial complainer, it's the actions of someone at their wits end with it all.

But unless these twerps move out, it's just going to continue wearing you down - and that's not fair; it's not something you should just sit and accept.

It's a big step to take and exposes you somewhat - but nothing will change unless you make the change.

Please, please take action.
Speaking to Citizens Advice should help provide details on what you should do, your legal recourse and so on - it will also give you a chance to really talk to some sympathetic ears which will help you personally.

I would think that The Samaritans could offer help and compassion too: there's no shame in seeking help with something that's overwhelming you.

Personally I'd be very wary of complaining about them as from my experience it might make things worse. I've been driven out of several flats after complaing about noise. The swap sounds like a good idea. Otherwise I would consider moving.

Joe,

Do you know how to record some of the sounds for 20 minutes or so? Maybe on a few occasions?
There's likely a voice recorder on your phone but I'm thinking actual video with sound might be better?
That would show you aren't making the noises yourself.
I don't know much about tech but maybe some of our tech people have better ideas for recording it?
Most people don't understand how horrible noise can be until they hear it for themselves.
Get them to listen with headphones too (lol -- but seriously, I'm sure video will always seem too quiet!)

I'd go mental so I agree you have to do something.
CF makes good suggestions but I'd add in some sound recordings if possible.

Do these people work? If not they sound like the sort of people who would deliberately keep you awake all night if they know you have to get up for work so that's why I would be very wary of complaining.

Kitty?

^
My boyfriend did very politely tell the lady up there (on a very rare occasion that he actually saw one of them) that they are noisy for us, but he said it in the nicest way possible, just to make them aware. She looked nervous and said sorry and nothing else. This was months ago and the noise hasn't changed, in fact it's got worse.
Me and my boyfriend aren't trouble-makers, we just want to make peace with everyone. We live very quietly and aren't the sort to slam doors or have TVs on loud (when I play my keyboard I always play with headphones on because I know the sound can travel through walls and floors very easily). So it's not like we were noisy to start with, because I know we're not.
I think landlords should try to avoid housing young families in upstairs apartments if possible, unless the apartments have good sound insulation between floors. Although this apartment isn't old it still has creaky floorboards, and none of the rooms up there have any carpets (I know, because we've been up there when we were helping the previous tenant when she was moving out). But it's not just about creaky floorboards. And it's not just about baby noise. Yes I hear the baby crying sometimes, and yes it is annoying, but is the very least of my problems with them. The parents have been thumping about before the baby was born (they moved in when she was pregnant and have literally been noisy ever since).

I've had several operations on my ears in childhood because I was at risk of going deaf (was just born with ear problems), but although my hearing was saved the doctor did say that I will always have a perforated eardrum which can make the ears sensitive to certain tones of noise. And extreme tones do physically cause me real pain, especially in my right ear. So low bomping about from the room above, and also loud high-pitched screeching of kids in supermarkets, both really cause me pain. The low-pitched sounds of the upstairs neighbours can literally make my ears feel like they're going to pop, like on an airplane, or it can even trigger my vertigo, especially when they're moving heavy things about up there. Ouch! *Winces*

Just waited a year to watch a TV show and can't find the remote.

I have it on computer but it's not the same.

FML