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Oh I just watched that! Great film! Cumberbatch specialises in eccentric misfits who somehow change the world, doesn't he...

I really liked this film.

I wasn't familiar with Wain before seeing it, and read about him afterward. Apparently the film took some liberties with the history, but I don't get too upset about such things, (unless a film mangles one of my special interests )

Darron

Yes I'd never heard of Wain either. He seems to have had an interesting but pretty tragic life. He seems to be the one who made people start thinking of cats as household pets instead of just mousers.

My only job friend is leaving next month, the woman who isn't even my boss anymore is terrorizing me, but I'm not good at anything else. I'm not even sure I'm good at what I do. s**t.

I can't even verbalize what's going on because my brain is trying so hard to shut down. I'm probably going to be angry all weekend and angry when I have to go back. I sincerely don't want to do this, or anything, anymore.

I feel like my executive function is getting worse. I'm getting even worse at time management than I used to be.

I feel like that too! I used to be good at organising myself, I'm getting worse and worse. Maybe because there is more to organise in life?

More to organise and less free time. Free time used to mean time for fun. Now free time means time to do nessessary tasks that don't already have a particular time allocated. Trying to get all of those done in the weekend is difficult.

Yet I yearn for this "free time" not because I think it will be fun but because I hate having to remember all the things I need to do so getting them done means there is less burden on my memory. I don't have to remember to do them once they're done.

But this often hurts my prioritazation. As soon as I remember something I feel I have to do it to get it out of my memory, instead of doing it in order of priority.

I hate how being an adult means having to fit twice as many tasks into half as much time.

I think also life is generally more pressurised and busy, more to do, we all have to work 24/7 just to survive.

It wasn't like this when I was your age. It was more relaxed.

The "suicide pack" was opened.
Some drugs were taken.
I was told it was dangerous to take them with alcohol.
I asked what the drugs were.
So I could at least tell the paramedics.
"Do not call the paramedics".
Ok, so I wait and watch you breathe?

Raleigh! Are you still with us??? I hope so!

Yes, I'm still here.
I'm not the one with the "suicide pack".
I have a suicide lack.

But I sent you some porn.

Be here crocheting!

My cousin is really frustrating me. I had an argument with her yesterday about giving me my house key back, which was so stupid. "Why do you need it back? You're with [my aunt] all the time and she has a key." Because it's my f*****g key! I pay rent! She said she needed it for 1 day and it's been like, 2 weeks! There's a third key that she just needs to look for on the porch, and she's too lazy to f*****g do it! That's not my fault! I get anxiety about not having a key in case something happens and I have to come home by myself. I should be able to have my own key in my possession if I want to, so I don't have to worry about it. Now I'm not letting her use my key again since she argued with me, so she can have fun with that...

She also keeps eating all of my food. She even lied to my aunt yesterday and said she only had "one" of some treat I had. Yeah, I said you could have one, and you ate almost all of them! She eats everything I buy. She especially eats all of the string cheese, and eats a lot of my chicken tenders/nuggets. I sometimes only can manage to eat a few things because of my GI disorder and my sensory issues, so her eating all of my food that I pay for is making me really mad at this point.

She's also so f*****g picky, every time we cook she complains. My aunt has been telling me to hide things I put in food and the other day I just said ,f**k it. I let her see me put mushrooms in something (that calls for mushrooms and she should f*****g expect them to be in it) and she whined that she doesn't like mushrooms, so I told her, too bad, don't eat it then! Not everything is catered to her, and me and my aunt both eat things we don't like if the other person likes it + it won't make us sick. I hate eggs to the point I'll gag and I'll even choke down eggs if they're in something, because I'm not a complete f*****g toddler and I respect other people when they give me food or cook for me.

I'm a major f**k up, and things keep on getting worse. I'm running out of options.

I've talked to you privately since you wrote this but I just saw this now.
I was still in the craft store when I replied about porn (the porn was yarn.)
Sorry I sounded like a moron at the time.

Sending more wangs.

You are not a f**k up, and things are getting better, relatively speaking.
They are.
You're better off than a year ago whether it's hard to believe or not.
You can do this.