I don't know whats wrong with me

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Thank you I appreciate you going to the effort of looking them up for me.

It's a viscous cycle really.... I know since I am in the same boat and in same age range.

There's indeed something wrong in me - which is not completely known what it is - for not being able to get a serious relationship like most guys of my age who are already engaged/married/in LT. No use to deny that.

But furthermore, what I found out, the fact that I still found no one at age 34....this alone is something wrong in the eyes of many, including any potential partner.

So there's an unclear "something wrong" and another clear "something wrong" which is the consequence of the first wrong...

and the older I get, the stronger the second wrong becomes....even eclipsing whatever the first something wrong was (even if I all fixed the first one)....

women have to be careful relative to men because they only have one egg to play around with each month, plus the fear of going through 9 months of hell for nothing should it not pan out.

What about those who don't want children?

in a Darwinian sense, it is all about protecting the potential [or maintaining the potential] for optimal offspring.

He was addressing to me; he is saying that my single status at this age is an alarming sign to women.

As for your question; pills are too recent to shape us evolutionary in any way.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 23 Oct 2016, 5:49 am, edited 1 time in total.

I think the matchmaker, and employing a therapist to help with your self esteem are great ideas.

If a chap makes it obvious that he is interested in you and you like being in his company, I don't think there is anything wrong with taking a win some, loose some attitude, asking him out for coffee and seeing what happens (more feeling, less thinking).

Oh OK, I understand the context now. Hmm. That explains why 2 handsome men I know my age are chronically single and why the women I know aren't interested in them. They b***h about these guys saying they are players, when that's just an assumption. They're genuinely nice chaps, not interested in me, but great people, but yeah, it's unfortunate the way people make assumptions.

What to do? I don't know.

I love this video!

Just been told this by a female friend

"Put up some walls. Stop falling emotionally and when the right one comes along they will break down the walls if they really want to. And you wont get hurt all the time."

Well, I would be flattered if women would think that of me lol. For some reason, there are women of certain demographic living here who often accuse me of this sort of things (East Asians); sometimes in compliment-flirty way.

But for most locals, I don't think I am thought of being a hadsome player; nor I think they even mention me in their private convos.

When one is single beyond 30 people will assume wrong of him no matter what:
If he's handsome they think he's a player and unfaithful.

If he's ugly... well they ll assume because he's ugly, but I don't think he would be mentioned in the first place.

It is a crazy time. Having been in a relationship for a long time and now being single again has made me realize just how little I 'get it'. I have no idea what I'm supposed to do either...

The online thing is nuts too. I've heard the same things from other women, a ton of guys, none of whom want a real relationship and it's the same guys on every site. For guys, every woman assumes you only want to sleep with them and you can't even talk to them... the world is a confusing scary place if you're single with no social skills or self esteem. It's really frustrating...

I think part of the problem is, and this was said already, but seems like people who are still single in their 30s are for a reason. It's a crap situation... keep trying tho

This sounds like sh***y advice to me... what would making things harder on a potential partner hope to accomplish? I really don't get that.

Building walls, from my experiences, is poorly advised unless it's totally necessary. You cant just go putting up and bringing down walls. I think you only make things harder on yourself by doing that. If you're too afraid of being hurt, dating isn't probably the thing for you... it seems to come with the territory no matter how you try to protect yourself.

Funny, this how I am now.

IMHO that will only make things worse. if you harden your heart that only makes it harder for a suitor to melt it. it leads to a colder more solitary life, in general.