What’s on your mind? The Haven version.

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I really should stop accepting people's invitations to reach out when I'm depressed. Every time I do, I seem to drive them away and then I feel guilty, like I've been a burden to them all along.

Horrible people.

I saw 2 incidents of people being a***holes today.

The first was at a crossing in town. A driver was waiting for a pedestrian to cross the road (as one should) and the driver in the car behind that one stuck his head out the window and yelled aggressively at the first car, "What are you doing, you f*****g w*ker!"

Next, I was waiting at the crossing and a learner driver was having a little trouble when the lights turned green. He didn't stall or anything, was just a bit slow taking off.
But the guy in the car behind couldn't have this. He pulled out and overtook on the left (making me jump back) at great speed and roared off down the road.

This is completely unnecessary and sh***y behaviour by absolute dickheads and makes me lose my faith in humanity.

When everybody else is giving paragraphs of support, all I can offer is simple Sweet Pea hugs. Sometimes I wonder if my Sweet Pea hugs are enough. While other members post paragraphs of things while relating to an OP of any thread, all I can offer are three sentences at the most. It's almost like English is my second language when it isn't. My grammar also almost looks German.

^I'm sure a Sweet Pea hug is worth more than 100 paragraphs in a lot of cases. I can blather on for ages but I struggle to make a simple emotional offering like you do. A sweet pea hug is worth more than a simple hug because it's yours alone and we all know what you mean by it. Don't undervalue them.

If this lifetime is mostly just I, solving whatever the hell this person's (who is technically me) problem is...

Can't I have a break from it?
Sleep just doesn't cut it.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

Waiting on the hospital bed to be wheeled in for my colonoscopy, I received five unsolicited critiques of my body language and posture from 3-4 random nurses who walked by.

They weren't even my nurse.



- "Your cheek is showing!" I was kind of twisted on my side trying to sleep and I guess a square inch or two of my butt cheek might have been visible under the blanket by acrobats hanging at the right angle from the ceiling. I was surrounded by curtains to any passersby who weren't nurses, so IDGAF.


- "You're falling off the bed! Your feet are hanging off the end! Skooch up! Put your hips where the head of the bed tilts up!"

^ She literally tried to hoist me higher on the mattress until I told her not to touch me.


- "Are you OK? Should I put the head of the bed up or down? You look very uncomfortable."


- "Do you need another pillow under your neck? Your neck is unsupported!"
I was using my phone with my head lifted off the pillow.


- "Are you in pain? The washroom is right over there. You look like you're hurting!"


What the heck is wrong with people?
I was totally fine, just being my normal, tense, autistic self.

I don’t know how I’m going to be able to afford my son’s Christmas present(s) this year. I’ll manage. I always do, but it’s also always stressful.

I find choosing presents pretty stressful.

Thanks! I’ll think about it. I’m weighing my options and trying to figure things out. It’s a tough spot to be in. He really needs a computer.

Hmm, yeah, I don't know if it would earn you enough to buy a computer...maybe if you found one in a thrift store or something...

I have some money. Just not enough to buy the type of computer he wants, and I want to buy him a couple other little gifts, too. Christmas and birthdays are weird for me since my family didn’t celebrate them when I was growing up. I’m the only person who gives him presents on those occasions.

Oh, that is weird.

Like I said, it wouldn't be a lot, but if you've got some time to put into it, it would at least be something.
Right now I'm having an issue where MyPoints and InboxDollars aren't cashing out to PayPal >=( Sat there for like nine days and then they gave me a refund last night, basically saying they don't know what went wrong.
Ugh.

Making sure I don't get mad because Wrong Planet is being slow right now.

I have made some very big mistakes...

I have never been attacked so ruthlessly in all my life.