Rants

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Um..I am bad at remembering the difference between flattery and friendship. That was the weakest rant ever. . .
*correction. Nothing bad will happen.

I feel so pathetic right now. I woke up feeling so down today...I have a physics test tomorrow and I just want to die. Its not just the test, small things have been triggering me lately. I feel like no one truely cares about me. They can just pretend to care but they dont actually.(or there paid 2) They keep leaving me...making me miserable. I keep trying to cling to things that dont exist. I dont want my life anymore. Im not sure if I ever wanted it in the 1st place. I blame my parents for bringing me into the world. I just want to roll up into a ball and cry and magically disapeer. I cant express these thoughts to anyone or else Im gonna end up in the ward again. What a punishement for being sad and depressed?

I feel so pathetic right now. I woke up feeling so down today...I have a physics test tomorrow and I just want to die. Its not just the test, small things have been triggering me lately. I feel like no one truely cares about me. They can just pretend to care but they dont actually.(or there paid 2) They keep leaving me...making me miserable. I keep trying to cling to things that dont exist. I dont want my life anymore. Im not sure if I ever wanted it in the 1st place. I blame my parents for bringing me into the world. I just want to roll up into a ball and cry and magically disapeer. I cant express these thoughts to anyone or else Im gonna end up in the ward again. What a punishement for being sad and depressed?

Hang in there, princesseli. My rant:

The ribcage I have used like an armored breastplate several times too many is sore. I am feeling depressed and lurking on the Internet flirting with anarchy, which never ends well. I feel too apathetic to go any further, though there is more to tell.

I f***ing hate my step dad. He's sooo freaking selfish it makes me want to move out and be homeless. I had plan to see my girlfriend today, who I haven't seen since Sunday, and I know I won't be able to get to see her much for the next week or two because her mom is going in on tomorrow (Thursday) to be induced (she's pregnant, babies due date is July 29).

To top it off, the car I'll be driving has no running tail lights. The break lights work, and the hazards work, but no regular tail lights.

So this means that I had only 5 1/2 hours (because the sunsets at 9:18pm today) to spend with her. BUT NOOOO he has to go and run stupid errands on today, the day I had planned on leaving to see my girlfriend. They couldn't wait until tomorrow?

I can't leave because my parents don't trust my stupid 10 year old brother home by himself, so I have to f***ing sit here and wait for my step dad to come back home (roughly an hour, hour and a half he said). IF he really takes an hour and a half, that means that I won't be to her house until 5pm (she's roughly a half hour away) and that leaves me 4 freaking hours.

GAAAAH I'm so pissed right now!! !!

I hate my tooth. It's midnight and all the nerve endings are having a party.

I don't really like going to visit people in the hospital who have just had a baby. It's not that I don't like the baby, or that I don't like them. They always ask if I want to hold the baby, then I respectively decline because I don't want to tell them that I am not comfortable holding their baby as to me babies are precious creatures, and I don't want to do anything wrong. Today my girlfriend got me to hold her new baby brother, and while I was alright for a minute or two, I was getting really anxious, partially because her baby brother was squirmy a little bit, and because I couldn't move my arms (which for me is an OCD thing, I HAVE to be able to move my arms or I'll freak out).

Dear E and O,

Screw you both! If I had enough gumption I'd tell you both to go to hell. I wish we weren't related. No matter how much I've tried to be nice to both of you, you treat me like I'm the step sister or Dustin Hoffman out of that stupid movie Rain Man. I'm so sorry I ruin both you two's pathetic image which by the way looks stupid. I mean you really both look faith although I have to O you've been getting better in climbing your way professionally to the top with your hard work. Maybe sometimes I envy you, maybe the both of you. You both got to be kids and experience both friendships and relationships while I was alone and closed off from everyone. The harder I tried the more I got repelled. If I could, I'd tell you like it is if only I didn't live near you or my dad. We've been through ups and downs and even enjoyed eachother's company sometimes when I was around. But to find out from other parties who knew nothing of my existence f*****g hurt. Sister? They only told me they had eachother and a brother. Well I explained it to them like it was and now they know. Sorry to ruin your image.

f**k you both,

A

Why can't there be a good effective way to record gameplay footage?
ZSNES and SNES9x both do this thing where they record button input and then replay the game to record a video...
Provided nothing RANDOM happens during the replay recording to totally screw it up.
I was trying to do some Castlevania videos with commentary and all it takes it one skeleton who for whatever his puny AI reason decides to stand in slightly different spot from my recorded run to completely ruin my avi recording attempt.

Been spending past couple of hours trying to find an alternative. Camstudio seemed promising but I can't get it to record audio... FRAPs is out of the question since it'll only recognize an emulator if it's running in fullscreen, which I don't want to do. Tried Jing, seemed kind of cool... but realized it'll only record up to 5 minutes.
Why can't there just be a straightforward way to do this? ugh

i use "screen movie studio" to record my flight sim clips

This probably only matters to like zero to maybe three people tops, but I don’t plan on posting here anymore. I don’t feel like being all melodramatic, but as one user aptly phrased it, I’m perplexed and butthurt. The concept of joining a forum just to antagonize others really really confuses me. I honestly can’t figure out why so many people do that. It isn’t secure here, for me. I was deluded in thinking that those who typically bother me in person wouldn’t be duplicated 60 million-fold on the internet.
This forum has showed me that places on the internet that aren’t strictly informational aren’t a safe place for those who take things a bit too seriously. I can joke around, and I’ve even made a couple friends, but I just can’t deal with the social dynamic of WrongPlanet in the long term sense. I’ll probably come online and receive PM’s and such, but that’s all.
It wasn’t one specific event; it was a cumulative set of unsettling observations.

I also posted this in the “random” thread because it sounds both rant-like and random, doesn’t it? Thank you, to the people that acted like they knew there was a person on the other side of their communications.

I hate people who do not indent their freaking paragraphs.

or who don't make paragraphs full stop

People should NOT post pictures of horizontal incision/s on unidentified body areas to Facebook. I was so upset by my friend doing this, although it turned out it was just a gash on somebody's leg that had needed stitches.
Are people not aware that this sort of thing can be really frightening and triggering? I had a friend who used to cut herself and post the pictures to Facebook. I was so terrified that my other friend had begun to do this as well.
*sigh*