Every time I think I'm over it, I'm not

Post Reply New Topic

Every time I think I'm over it, something comes back to remind me just how badly it hurts.

It has been 8 years since my kitten was hit by a car and killed. Sweet little Abraham was only a kitten, less than 18 months old when he was killed.

This morning I was getting changed and pulled out a T-shirt from my wardrobe. It was purple, had a skeleton cat on it and said 'Curiosity killed the cat'. It always unnerved me a bit, but I wore it anyway. When I pulled out the T-shirt I saw that it was inside out, and realized that there was some writing on the inside. I started to read it...and I was mortified at what it said.

It was a short poem about Kit, a kitten who was teased for having a large head. One day, he was looking at his reflection in the water and he fell it. Then all the teasing stopped.


My poor, poor Abraham. My poor little one. He was only a kitten. A small little kitten. And he died. 8 years ago he died.
Everyone thinks that I have forgotten about it, have moved on, but I could never forgotten about him. I've had other cats die, and their deaths hurt me too, but not as much as Abraham's. When Jezabel died she was 18 years old, and have lived a long and happy life. When Snoopy died she was 16, and had also lived a long and happy life.

But when Abraham died he was less than 18 months old, still a kitten. And I have never been able to get over his death. I don't think I ever will. And I don't know how to cope. It was Abraham's brother, Sylvester, who got my through his death. And then when we moved to Australia, I left him behind in England with my grandparents. It was for the best, I know it was, but it hurts me still.



Nothing of what I said makes much sense, but I sort of needed to get it all out. So, if your reading this then thanks, I'm feeling a bit saner now
I think I'm going to have to get rid of the T-shirt though. I can't have it near me after knowing what is written on it.

Hey there!

I'm sorry about your kitten, Abraham. *hugs*
A friend of mine's friend died in his sleep a few months ago, he was seventeen. Everyone in the school was horrified and just in shock what happened, because he was young. You would suspect an old person to die, maybe even a baby, but a child or a teenager, they're starting their life, so the pain is even more terrible. Especially if you raised the child or lived with the child for awhile.

There are many things I thought I have gotten over, but the memories come back. The emotion is not as strong as it originally would be, but just when I think I am over a past situation, it comes back to bite me, just with a softer bite, yet I still am bothered by it. I know I can not hold grudges...but it's second nature to me to hold them...I have done it for so long....

If I'm not making any sense, sorry, it's midnight where I live and I am very tired. So g'night everyone.

I just asked my mum to get rid of the T-shirt. She read the words, and once more she just made me feel like crap.
She says they are just words. She can't understand.

That poem is about a small kitten drowning.....Why can't she understand how much that hurts me?

Edit: Now she is giving me hassle over the amount of cola I drink.When I'm depressed I drink some cola. It makes me feel livelier, happier, and it enables me to write. Perhaps if there was something else that worked in the same way I wouldn't drink as much, but as it is I reach for a can of cola at times like this.