Holding me

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Tonight for the first time he held me and reassured me when we talked about an emotional subject on which we hold differing views. He has begun to understand what I need. And because he held me, we could talk about it calmly. And as soon as I became upset, I would go back into his arms, and I was calm, and we could talk some more. And because he held me, we could agree to disagree, and say a reassuring goodbye and leave in peace.

Did he die? Or just fall asleep?

No, he left. he went to his home and I went to mine.

This is like mocking all of us.

Why is it mocking? I think it's a beautiful thing. If two people can find a way to communicate that works best for them, than more power to them. Obviously it's a topic they have struggled with and they found some peace. They tackled a tough subject and they came away feeling cared for. good for them.

The haven is supposed to be for helping troubled people, not making us jealous.

But if someone finds an answer to things that are deep and personal to them, I don't see why it can't be posted here. The poster can't help if others feel jealous. If anything, maybe it gives others hope. Two people can look at the same situation, and see it entirely different.

You don't know how many meltdowns I went through before he finally understood what I needed. How many letters I wrote, trying to explain what it is like to have these "demons" in me and begging him to look at the person behind it all and to rescue me. How many articles on Aspergers and rage... He thought I was deliberately throwing tantrums to get my way.

And it is not all fixed yet. Yesterday we had a big fight. I had withheld information from him to protect someone who is mentally ill from being harshly judged. But it was the wrong thing to do. He felt betrayed.

I feel afraid.

If I know anything about guys getting pissed off, it's that they get over it. Also, do you really still throw tantrums? I always keep it all inside, unless someone tries to talk to me or something, then I try and make them leave me alone. I know a guy who's on meds for his tantrums. He hadd to go to a special school because of his issues before, but now he's on meds and doing fine at my school.

You can all stop feeling jealous now. It was only once. Our relationship has gone to being worse than ever.

I believe it will come right eventually. My psychologist is neurotypical. She should be able to understand him and help him.

I'm sorry to hear that. I think it was really nice of you to post something positive in the Haven. I personally think WP needs another forum heading for positive news, and successful outcomes, and general happiness (as a sort of oppositional forum to the Haven) where we can celebrate and draw hope from each others successes.

Yes, good news is so encouraging and so welcome

I would also support the creation of such a forum. It would balance out the feelings of jealousy and the need to read some good news from time to time.

Well I thought the story was nice. Thank you for sharing. :]

I actually thought that moment was the start of something good, but things went so bad over the following few days, and he couldn't bring himself to hold me anymore. His life has been ruined, he says. He's not coping with me at all. We are going to see my psychologist together this afternoon. She specialises in AS, but she's neurotypical herself, so at least she'll be able to understand with the way he feels. I think he needs someone to do that for him and to explain me to him from an NT perspective, because I can only explain it from the inside out, and he says nothing I have given him to read seems to describe what he is seeing in me. I also think the main thing is, he can't come to terms with my diagnosis or with the fact that I have accepted it so wholehertedly. I think feels like he's lost the person he once thought he knew.