meltdown question

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ok so every time i meltdown i get urge to headband and because i live in grouphome i get restrained because of self-harming behavior would it be better to just try go limp or do what i usually do:respond to fight or flee reaction?

just needing some advice how to best deal with this

been meltdowning lot recently because they gonna close place after year just dont know where im going to be then either in my own apartment or somewhere else

I would try and learn a response that is basically, you become immobile (easier if sitting up) and pull away once the people start to back off. Can't help you to much...though I have had meltdowns in the past. You need to relax & tell who ever's around why your upset & what sets you off.

I have had a lot of meltdowns lately too. (Relationship problems & related anxiety.) But although my meltdowns are physically exhausting, and I sometimes hurt my throat by screaming, I am not causing any injuries, but rather writhing and closing up like hugging myself.

Would it be possible for you to project the desire to do damage onto something else rather than onto yourself? I mean, I understand it wouldn't help to hit something soft like a pillow, because externalising pain is what I'd be trying to do if I felt that way. The only thing I can think of that would make sense without destroying myself or someone else or some furniture would be to have a giant canvas or flipchart and some fat ugly crayons or markers handy at all times in my room so that I could grab them and scratch and make marks of desperation with them.

PS: My psychologist said she sees a lot of anxiety in me and wants to confer with my psychiatrist about it. I don't yet know if that means changing my medication; but are you seeing a psychologist and/or psychiatrist, and do they know about what you are feeling at the moment? Because they should be involved in helping.

Because I have lived so long (50 years) I now know when I am likely to have a meltdown and if I think the situation I am in is going to lead to one, I remove myself very quickly and I urge you strongly to do the same if you have got to the stage where you are noticing the clues. I know it can be hard to know when it will happen and how distressing it is when it does happen, but if you do notice a little tension in your stomach or some other clue, try to get out of the situation away from people as quickly as possible so that you have the space to deal with what is overwhelming.

I wish you luck and good judgement with this, its very upsetting if you meltdown before you know it will happen.

For the people who share your home, I would like to recommend this document:

http://www.aspires-relationships.com/AS ... ith_as.htm

It is easier to read it after downloading and printing the .pdf than reading it online.

This really describes what a meltdown feels like to me and also, most of the things they mention there would work for a child, work for me as an adult too.

I completely agree with Kaleido -- if you can get out while it is coming but before it explodes, get out to a calm, quiet place, where you can shut out sound and sights (maybe even by closing your eyes and covering your ears), and then just breathe quietly. Take your time.

The people who live with you should be made aware of the fact that this can help.

boxsing shack would be good alternative to bang

only psychologist and thats more like talking not that i would talk much to him really

luckkily i do it feels much same when u have axsiency while talking

luckkily i do it feels much same when u have axsiency while talking so its not easy to tell is it meltdown or just axsiency

I hit myself. I do it in my room so people don't think I'm harming myself. I don't do it to hurt myself I do it cause my senses are out of whack and i need sensory input.

Well sometimes i hit myself cause i hate myself too but that's another issue.

On the subject of sensory input, here are some of the things that I do to self-manage when I am still at the stage where I am not going to explode straight away. Perhaps some of these could help to calm you too.

Background

Sometimes I just wake up and find that I am tense and anxious. I realise it by the fact that my shoulders are tight, or I find myself stimming (shaking my arms) or I notice myself doing something obsessive.

This are causes to why why I feel this way but I am not good at identifying and dealing with them yet, so I have to manage the symptoms.

Sound

What works well then is for me to put on a specific type of music. The British indie rock group Muse really does it for me; what also sometimes works is something like Evanescence. This is quite loud and heavy music. (If I were calm I would listen to something very different.) This type of music I need seems to have to "match"the intensity" of what's happening inside me, and it's very specific. It needs to have a heavy bass but it can't be too textured (like death metal). I like classical music but even heavy classical music doesn't work for me then because it doesn't have enough of a bass beat. The right kind of music can neutralise the anxiety in my body and make me feel good very quickly, and then I need to keep listening for quite a while.

Yesterday I was listening to it all the way to work in the car and I could immediately feel myself get calm. I even cried bitterly at one point, but it felt good.

Suggestion

Maybe you could try something like this -- sound input -- before you get to the point where things have escalated to self-harm. If you have headphones, you could use them so that you don't disturb the rest of the people in the house.

It usually takes a while before you can figure out which music is precisely right for you.

Movement

The other thing that works for me is rigorous rhythmic movement. For example, I might put on a CD loudly -- some hip-hop/rap by FloRida , for example -- start washing dishes and then also dance (heavy bouncy movements, usually). Otherwise I actually go out to a night club and start stimming, turning my stims into dance movements. Sometimes my movements look angry and expressive, like martial arts movements, or like head-banging, which is actually a valid old-school punk/heavy metal way of dancing; sometimes I am hugging myself and only my feet are moving rapidly like the hip-hop type of tap. People at the club don't know I am autistic. They just think I am a creative expressive dancing professional. (I am not a professional at all though; I have a day job!)

Suggestion

I realise that going to a night club and dancing in such a way is too complex an option for many people, but it's worth trying alone in your room. Most of my at-home dancing is done in the kitchen in between the housework.

Producing sound through movement

Drumming

Another thing that seems to help is drumming.

There are times, like between midnight and dawn, when the laundromat under my building is empty and the security guard will let residents in if they want to do laundry. At that time I can do laundry and bang on the machines as though they were huge bongo drums, and bounce and dance between them.

I have also been to drum circles and these are pretty good too. I don't know how common they are in your area, but in my country they are usually organised by a kind of New Age/hippy crowd, and you can rent a drum, or it is included in the fee when you arrive. The bigger the drum, the better. You play with the group, but they guide you and explain what you are supposed to do and it is relaxing.

Sound-producing dance

Another form of sound through movement is tap dancing -- the heavy type of tap which you do with boots. I've actually danced on the back of a truck once when there weren't many people around. The metal makes a great noise. You can also clap your hands and smack various parts of your body, like your thighs or your shoes. (I learned this from a German traditional dance and from Zulu gumboot dancing and adapted it till it felt good to me.)