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this thread was a knee-jerk overreaction.
thank you for your kind words, but i feel as if what I said was not totally genuine.

a rant. please disregard.

You're better off without this. That was abuse.

A meltdown is when sensory stimuli is too intense to cope with, or there is overwhelm of some sort and crying or angry shouting happens. Occasionally, violence happens.. but only occasionally with some people. Not all people with AS are violent.

I doubt one phone call while asleep would cause a meltdown. She has other issues and problems besides AS.

Domestic violence by women is one of the most taboo subjects in the western world. Women committ these crimes, knowing that if the men report it to the police they will either be looked down on as weak, or, if they do proceed with charges, they will be subject to community derision. I wish I could give you some advice, but the fact is only options are to continue in the current situation, continue to be attacked, insulted, etc, or get yourself a decent lawyer press charges to the fullest extent of the law

she's NT.
I'm the one with Asperger's.

she acts the way she does out some issues from her past.

she says that she can't deal with my apparent lack of emotional response.

i'm no expert, intermediate or even apprentice, but upon reading i think something is "wrong"
my first, perhaps impulsive, thought is that what you describe sounds like paranoia.. like i say, i'm in no place to offer a "concrete" opinion but i offer it out there.
hopefully someone older & wiser can offer something more substantial.
Sorry if this is no real help, good luck.

I agree with Mosto. You need to report her abuse. Your son watching this is also being abused.

Just because someone has past issues does not in any way excuse or legitimize physically attacking someone, either with hands or FURNITURE. It's assault and battery, pure and simple.

By reporting her, you will not only protect yourself and your son, but make her take responsibilty for the consequences of her actions and possibly confront her personal problems.

If this is a change in her personality, I might think schizophrenia, which can be late onset. She may also have Borderline Personality Disorder... my sister acts like what you describe, very manipulative and prone to striking out and raging when she doesn't get her way. And she's 45 years old now and drinking herself to death.

File charges at the very least, even if you choose not to press them at this time. It creates a history for future incidents.

I would also suggest you contact a domestic violence center to learn how to protect yourself and your child.

That sounds like she's suffering from borderline personality disorder and maybe depression as well. Is she willing to try medication? That kind of stuff is horrible for a kid to witness.

I'd be aware of what your legal position is. Does she apologise when you reconcile or what? It sounds very Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf. Some couples are like that.

This is not normal behaviour, you and your child shouldn't have to deal with this. I don't know what to say about this advice-wise.

Do you have friends (who you can trust) that you can speak to? To tell them about what is happening to you and your son? To support you if you decided to press charges or seek medical help for your wife?

Speaking as someone with a sleep disorder, getting woken up is a very serious thing. An entire day can be lost when I'm woken up too early.


Speaking as someone with any regard at all for other people, the way she responded is flat-out unacceptable. You should report the incident. There's a difference between telling someone to stop a behavior and lashing out.

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Really, really, you need to contact a domestic violence shelter. They often have inexpensive housing available. You are clearly an intelligent, thoughtful man... look into what is available for options.

I don't know what to say. Even if she doesn't directly abuse your son allowing him to hear/witness that level of violence is indirect child abuse. It sounds scary as hell.