My fear of lightning and my family. A dark occurrence.

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We had some major thunderstorm activity happen today.

Around 1:00 today, a large number of disassociated thunderstorms moved over the mountains today towards the west. Around 3:00 they became one very large thunderstorm that moved away from our valley.

At the same time, my family decided to go to a nearby town to buy some flowers from a local Home Depot. When we got done, we drove to another town to go to eat at a Taco Johns.

My sister was behind the wheel, and the storm was off to our west as we headed northbound. I was seated on the side of the car facing the storm. The first time I saw a flickering stroke, I said something in one of the made-up babble I sometimes talk in. My sister asked what I was saying. The next time I saw a flicker, I once again started to babble in that made-up language and then covered my eyes and started whimpering, whereupon my dad got rather upset and told me to "act like a man" and to "to have some concern for my sister while she was practicing driving."

I understand that I could have distracted her from the driving practice.

I just feel emasculated. I am also seriously not certain of my sexual orientation, and I just feel like I am crazy and maybe have a mental illness instead of Asperger Syndrome.

Why do I have to behave so badly? I f---ing hate myself sometimes.

I don't get why you feel you behaved badly. Everyone is afraid of something, you might not ever be able to get over your fear of lightning but you might be able to adjust the way that you deal with that fear.

Your dad might have sounded a bit harsh also, but I think he wasn't suggesting you weren't a man but trying to help you in the best way he knew how, even if he was dead wrong with his advice.

You're questions your sexual orientation, thats fine. You're 21, you're still learning and figuring things out about yourself. Trust yourself more and have more faith in yourself, as we get older we get wiser no matter if we want to or not. Our brain stores memory and the more we do things the quicker our brain accesses this knowledge so we can eventually make more improvements and handle the situation a little differently each time.

Just take time when you are feeling this way and love the stuff you really do appreciate about yourself, your love for anime, your made up language, your hobbies, your sense of humor. The fact that you had the wisdom to even realize that you could've distracted your sister.

Praise yourself whenever you get a chance.

It's ok to have fears - I'm scared of storms too... one of my most intense phobias, and I live in the UK, where storms are weak lol.

I don't see anything wrong with how you behaved. If you had started screaming, I could see a problem, but then, learning to drive means learning to cope with the unexpected. A good parent learns to use experiences like this to teach. In this case he could have taught your sister to pull over if there's a problem. I wish more people would learn to pull over rather than keep on driving while doing things.

And don't base your sexual orientation on a parental scolding. If you've got one of those dads who scolds you for not being masculine enough, then I feel sorry for you. Strength shouldn't be measured in how masculine you are, and sexual attraction is not connected to masculinity. Coping with difficult people takes a lot of strength. And facing irrational fears (or somewhat more rational ones) isn't "being a man", it's being a human. It's something you'll have to do bit by bit. No one should yell at you to do it. If you want to face that fear, decide to and then do it. In spite of others, if necessary.

*Shrugs* It's fine to be scared of lightning. You're in a conductive vehicle that could be struck by a bolt of super-heated plasma which is as hot as the surface of the sun.

If you weren't scared you'd be stupid.

Could you perhaps take ear-plugs and an eye-covering next time? Plug your ears and cover your eyes so you don't see or hear what's going on? Sorta like one of those sleep-masks.

you didn't behave badly. you simply behaved in a way that your father does not, or chooses not to, understand. if you see a problem with how you deal with seeing lightning and hearing thunder, you should take steps to change that. if, on the other hand, you just don't like how other people respond to how you deal with seeing lightning and hearing thunder, you should take steps to change that instead.

i don't have any good advice on how to get your dad to not be so ignorant.

i do have advice (likely good) on how to change the way you deal with seeing lightning and hearing thunder. Gifted-Monster is right about the ear plugs. you can get quality ear plugs at home depot or sears or a gun store or pretty much anywhere they sell loud equipment. they come in plenty of different styles and shapes and i recommend getting a few different types at first to see which are comfortable for you.

as to dealing with actually seeing the lightning flash, or as Gifted-Monster accurately put it, the "bolt of super=heated plasma which is as hot as the surface of the sun," my advice may be bad. it involves a camera with a manual option for shutter speed, a tripod, a thunderstorm, and a rain-safe (and i would suggest lightning-safe) vantage point from which you are likely to see lightning bolts. a garage will work wonderfully if it has a view. a window will work just as well so long as the lights are off. set the camera to a long shutter speed, i suggest 20 to 30 seconds. a "bulb" setting would also work but i don't recommend holding the camera until your second or third time trying this. just point the camera where the lightning is visible and keep taking pictures.

there's not much on earth more powerful than a bolt of lightning. the photographs won't magically cure your fear. they might help you move it from fear to intrigue.




if the problem isn't a rational or even irrational fear but rather a severe dislike of the way lightning and thunder assault your senses, however, i would suggest keeping sunglasses and earplugs with you during thunderstorms. i sometimes have trouble dealing with noise on the bus or at a store so i wear earbuds that lead to my pocket (but no music player) because they help dull down outside noise and have the added effect of keeping people from bothering me as much.