Realizing i have no life :(

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I realized now i cant make it through Drivers Ed., i cant make it through a class room, i guess until 18 i have no life, no job, i really am pathetic when you think about it. How many others realized this at some point in there life. and how did you over come this?

I did. But b/c a social life is not really desirable for me, not driving has not been an issue. 9.7 out of 10 times I don't want to leave the house (decreasing recently to 9 out of 10/I'm improving) !
But, easiest & most comfortable way to fill any needed social gap, here, WP/Go internet (I need AIM badly)!

Maybe the driver's ed teacher is not explaining things in a way that you understand. I hate to say it but there are some crappy teachers out there. Don't get down on yourself. See if there is another way to get the training such as through a private company.

I don't have a life either. I'm usually reminded of this every Friday night, and more recently every night since I'm on holiday. The thing is, I want to do things/experience them, but when I actually go out to do it or at least attempt to it gets to be too much and I just end up feeling like there is something wrong with me. Once in a while I do find that it is worth it. How to overcome this lack of life? I'm still working on that one... But hey, don't give up.

When I was younger I was like you and wanted to experience things the way my peers did. I would try to fit in but many times I couldn't understand how it was fun. Not to mention I was too busy trying to figure out what I was supose to be doing and saying. Now that I'm older I've just learned to accept that I will never fit in that way and have learned to make my own way.

I feel bad for all the aspies out there that find fitting in to be very important and desirable.

I don't know, have I gotten over that yet? hrm. I am so absorbed in my interests its not like I ever get bored totally. As far as having a life, if you're still in highschool force yourself into any extracurriculars, if you socialize, talk about stuff that interests you, even your aspie interests. For me in highschool, it was dragonball Z, philosophical views on racism, etc.

Even some neurotypical people can find interest in the things we talk about. Also don't let your doubt overwhelm you, most of the stuff we think about when we beat ourselves up as your doing is BS. Even if you can't do drivers ed, you can still have a fulfilling life and do something that trumps anything you could've learned in drivers ed anyway. That is if there is a substantial reason why you cannot complete drivers ed.


I think the person being hardest on you, is yourself. You're really your own worst enemy, a state of mind that happens to a lot of us. Do not beat yourself up so much.

I basically realised I had no life, from early childhood. I've never gotten over it, or in any way overcame it. My feelings are supposedly detached from reality. In reality I'm a normal bloke, with a normal existence. In my mind however I'm some sort of freak with no hope of ever bridging the gap between the rest of the (who have a life) and myself.

I see what you mean about it not being so necessary to try to fit in. The thing is, I'm still in college and I have a lot of interests (some which require interacting with others to varying degrees, like theatre and to to a lesser extent, music...I just realized that the two times I heard about autism was from someone at orchestra and then later from someone who was crewing a play with me), and I think it's nice when I can share them with others who are just as interested. And at school it has been stressed to us how important networking is, which I don't really like because it doesn't sound genuine at all. And as for my old friends, even if we can't always relate to each other I know that they try. But I guess I should do it on my own terms. I vaguely remember telling myself a few weeks before the school year ended that I'd stop apologizing for who I am, and I think learning more about AS shook me up a little.

I use to apologize for my odd behaviors too. Stopping that is also a way of accepting yourself for you and being confident with who you are.

I think relationships with NTs needs to be a two way street. We have to meet half way. Aspies need to do their best to try and learn the culture of the NT dominant society and NTs need to be understanding and accomidating. I guess another way to say this is I also accept NTs for who they are and how they think and so I accept that they might look at me wierd and if they want to think that then that's ok. This, for me, is an easier way to deal with things instead of getting all pissed off. Yes, I still get pissed off about stuff but I don't think it gets to me as much or as often. I am still human

I remember school was hard for me too in the social department. I was more the unseen quiet one no one tends to notice. I personally found life after school was easier.

I realized this when I was around 13 years old. That was about the same time when the kids at school would DESTROY my self-esteem permanently.

How do I cope? I honestly don't know. I tried participating in a couple of activities at high school every year...some of the activities/clubs though were more socially demanding than others and some activities were just plain stressful. I would recommend maybe joining a club at school that isn't so socially or physically demanding. Something you would enjoy.

Also the meaning of life is irrelevant. An aspie's definition of living life is FAAAAAAAR different from that of a NT. I tried to hard to be more like a NT...it made me want to kill myself.

Just do what you want to do with your life and don't let society make you feel like you don't have one.

You have a life. It's just a different kind of life than that which most people have. Don't try to "get a life". Take what you have and make yourself happy. Driving and school and whatever are not the final cuts nor do they define your true happiness. If you can't drive, use public transportation... if you want to learn, there's the library... if you don't want to learn, there are simpler jobs, and, finally, secondary ways to exist (nature, army, etc.). There's always something, it doesn't have to be "normal".

Remove all inhibitions that do not promote your welfare. They currently do not work. And have no fear. Fear is the mindkiller, the little death that brings total obliteration.

No person is pathetic, some just need more help than others.