eeeeeffin hell, all choked up on the phone w coworker. :I

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ive been away from work for over 2 weeks now. thats 6 workdays in my "special" case...
my workplace gets paid to have me there, anyway, its cool analytical work w cool coworkers.

one of the older guys w the mustache called me just a minute ago, after i sent... maybe the 3rd actual "sick" message, where i told him about the aspergers, and that i was simply "burnt out" after no more than 2 months of work, and that i really wanted to come back, but it wasnt so easy...

he called me up and took a long time to reassure me that everything was just fine, especially that i shouldnt have any extra worries about coming back to annoyed or irritated people, cus none of them had any beef w me for skipping so much work.

im still sticky around the eyes.
f**k what a way to start my day...

Sending hugs to you, Z.

People who "get it" are worth keeping around. That's awesome that he was so understanding. Just take your time and go back when you're ready.

thanx for the hug :] every one is needed

im getting desperate for a formal diagnosis lately tho. im too concious about it, and it just makes me feel hopeless whenever i get into some stupid situation, and i just have to shut up and take it and let it pass by itself.

like last weekend at my mothers, she blew up cus i smalltalk wrong. i was too detailed. i had no idea i was being too detailed of course... but i have a red-alert in my head whenever im there, cus shes very picky about how much details/info she wants. if you tell her too many facts, she blows up, its a very fine line that nobody but me repeatedly crosses :I

+my entire family looks at me simply like a hopeless bum. a guy who can, but simply doesnt bother to get his life fixed and the lack of gf must surely mean im gay. the only familymember ive told is my aunt in spain (the only other person is my socialworker, who's trying to help me get an evaluation w my doc, who's being uncooperative..) ...

so basically
today was my 2nd ever "irl" understanding moment
and it obviously got to me :I