Meltdown

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Yep, it happened to me again. Tears are funning down my face and I'm now trying to calm down. My parents were fighting so I ran upstairs swearing, walked fast down the driveway getting ready for a big walk. Come back home, let out a big "Appology". My parents look at me asking "What did you do? Did you embarrious yourself outside?" I said no. "Is it because me and your father were fighting, IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU!" I said "I know, it's the sounds that bother me." Then my father told me that I would get fired if I ever asked like that in a work place. Then my stepmother told me if it ever happend at a work place, do to the bathroom in one of the stalls until I calm down. Kind of a good idea I thought.

I hate meltdowns, it's embarriousing. I went from depressed to nucular explotion.

Before I was worryed about being lonely in my life, now I feel like I need a hug.


I often would question to myself, why, why God, why me?
Haven't I got enough troubles as it is? Being Genderqueer, likeing Irreverent Humor?

GOD I HATE Asperger's!! !! !! !! !!


I wished they DID find a CURE for Asperger's! I'm so angry with people who think Asperger's is a good thing! It's a freaken Disease!! !! !! Life is hard as it is, WHY Did God Make it hard for me?

I'm Aspie
I'm Genderqueer
and I'm a Satirist

Life is hard for each three, why must I have to be all three at once? WHY?

It's already stressful living with my parents who are serious people, They piss me off! Sure they do nice things for me but GOD, I can't relate to them. Why you think of it, I can't relate to anybody!

I hate my life in so many aspects! It's hard to think positive, my self-confidence is low, I feel that I'm taking creative risks with Satire. I HAVE NO SUPPORT IN MY LIFE!! !! !! NONE!! !! !! ! NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME!! !! !



(sigh) I'm sorry, I've just been overloaded. It's really embarriousing having Asperger's. It's like having a blader problem. Except it's not about peeing your pants. It's acting childish when someone argues and it has nothing to do with you.


Plus I feel so lonely in my life, it's terrable.



There's so many things that I need and it all relates to my social life, I can't have it because survival comes first.


Sorry if this thread is too long but if you are reading all of this, Thank You, it means a lot.


I'm just so upset right now, recovering from an Aspie meltdown. Right now, I don't care what I write, I don't care if people might get upset because I'm upset right now.

GOD I HATE THIS DISABILITY! I WISHED THAT IT WENT AWAY!! !! !!



Another thing,

Why do I have the feeling that my interests will make me feel better like always?
It's like a drug! I feel that I need real people in my life, I don't have the ENTP or ENFP people in my life, just serious people like my parents who want me to quit whining and stop acting childish and mature. It's hard for them to understand.

I have to drive my new car with my father and remember a road that I only went on once.


I don't want to say that I hate being myself and wished that I was someone else because that's negitive and not positive.


Gaining Self-Confidence is hard! I'm surprised that I'm not depressed every single day.

Okay, well I'll try to make myself feel better with my interests or something like most Aspies do. (SIGH)

Your parents should not be putting you down. I have much more control over things at work than I do at home. If I had a meltdown at work, whoever caused it would get fired, not me. I can't believe your parents stress you into meltdown and then try to make you think you are the one with the problem. Home is supposed to be a safe place, your parents should try harder to make it so.

Meltdown.
Interesting concept.

It usually happens when you are trying to live a life that you shouldn't.

If you were a fisherman or a beachcomber. If you were a hippie making candles or leather belts. If you had an apple orchard.

Would you have a "meltdown"?
Probably not.

So get the hell out of wherever you are and work out where you should be.