What am I supposed to do?

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(bringing it back)

In another one of my threads where I said I wanted to stop feeling, because it caused pain. I said that why couldn't I just be like everybody else, and let my feelings leak out in sarcasm, while somebody told me to do so, I have to find the goriest news report and crack jokes about it, which is no way I can do because I find NOTHING funny about death and then another user asked "Wouldn't that be letting your feelings out sideways?" but I see nothing wrong with that. Then a third user told me that I had alot of anger, but was channeling it inward instead of outward and I had NO IDEA what that meant. How am I supposed to channel it outward???

Moved where?

I've brought it back. I still don't know what to do.

FORGET IT!! !

I wish I couldn't feel as well. I have a lot of anger too. I won't be around much longer

(This crying emote dosen't reflect how sad I really am. I should borrow one from another site that is crying harder.)

I honestly don't know what you can do, but I will tell you that I don't think it's uncommon for AS especially to feel certain things so strongly that they would rather turn it off. My son told me that he actually successfully taught himself not to feel certain things way back when he was very young. He didn't want to feel them, and he willed it away. I sometimes wonder if that is what most autistics used to do, and how the condition became associated with a lack of emotion. Emotion was so overpowering that at a very, very young age they just turned it off.

The best thing to do at this point in your life may be to methodically identify the situations where you are most likely to experience overwhelming pain, and to avoid those situations. Finding more outlets for letting a little of the steam off will help, as well, but what works in that area is unique to each individual person.

Hi Fickle_Pickle: Seems as if you're feeling awful...I saw your post in the Adolescent Forum too (I posted).

No one wants to see you suffer - I'm sorry you're hurting. If you are feeling...miserable or even suicidal then can you tell someone? Such as a parent, teacher, etc? Then they can find assistance. This is no different than having a broken arm and needing it set. Or having pneumonia and going to a clinic for antibiotics.

Anyhow - hope you feel better soon.