When people throw your things away

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If you think you`re going to tell me that I don`t appreciate how they`rwe just trying to help by throwing my things away and I should appreciate them, or that I should learn to be like other people and throw my things away, or that I`m making a big deal about a small thing, or that I only have the right to keep my posessions when I`m living on my own, or that I should just be thankful to her that she didn`t do anything worse to me or throw out all my stuff, or that I should be thankful for what I do have (I am) or that I need to learn to let people like that get away with that because Is hsould love them as people, or anything like that, stop reading right here and don`t reply. I don`t want to hear it and I will send you a nasty PM telling you to go f**k yourself.


Otherwise, you can read it.


My mother tells me that by doing that she didn`t commit a crime, but it is a form of stealing, and so it is illegal, but even if it was legal doing that to someone you say you are loyal to and want to be loyal to you is immoral.


If they had to take it to use or keep, it would have been better, because at least they`re making use of it and at least they probably know that you still want or need or and have the right to have it for any reason, but that they just need it too.


But when they throw away or destroy or give away something of yours, it`s like they`re deciding for you what you want or need or like, and that you wouldn`t like or want or need it. It`s like they think they KNOW what you want or don`t want, what you need or don`t need, what you like or don`t like, and often they`re wrong. But it never occurs to them that they might be wrong so they`d better not do it. And then there are the people that think they own you, or they own your posessions, or both. And then there are the people who think they`re doing you more good than harm throwing away things they don`t think you should have, or think you shouldn`t have. But often it doesn`t harm the person to let them keep it, and who are you to decide that they are not of sound mind or sane or mature or smart enough to make their own decisions about what they should keep? And how do you know that the things you`re throwing out don`t mean a lot to them, so much that they`sd suffer way more if you threw it away than if you let them keep it? And IT ISN`T YOURS TO THROW AWAY.


My mother threw away one of my shirts just because it had a hole in the sleeve. She said she did it because most people wouldn`t want the shirt because it had a hole. First of all she`s wrong, and secondly even if she wasn`t, am I not allowed to be different? Do I havwe to suffer more because I`m different, because of people trying to make me the same as them? This wouldn`t teach me to be more like other people; it would do the opposite after turning me against other people because they`re bossy and cause me misery throwing away my stuff and more misery because of the reasons why they threw it away, especially the thinking I`m not competent to decide for myself what I keep, or that I don`t care.


I told her over and over not to do that, but she forgets and forgets and does it again and again. When I told her this, after she told me that she had gotten the point and not to keep telling her over and over again, I said that I did that because she just didn`t learn, because she had a problem learning. She said that I was the one who had a problem learning because I hadn`t learned that one shirt isn`t a big deal. So she`s trying to decide what should be important to me? This was the only collection I had aside from my pill bottle collection (and she was also going to throw away some of my pill bottles before I stopped her), and aside from that I pretty much, literally, have no stuff at all. But she probably assumed my stuff wasn`t im;portant to me.


At first she offered to get me a brand new shirt that I liked, but then when I talked about going to the church to get more clothes to make up for my loss, she decided not to get me anything, and I said that I would have gone to the church anyway, so that wasn`t making up for my loss, and she said that if I hadn`t been so adamant about it because she threw away my shirt, she would have waited to go to the church. Excuse me? I would have gone with or without her and with or without her permission or blessing or whatever.


It`s like she`s my 3-year-old daughter or my younger sister who is going through my stuff. I have to be firm and strict with her, and tell her no all the time.


She says she wasn`t going through my stuff but mjust helping me pack. I can pack my own stuff, thank you, especially since I hardly have anything!

Wow, she is being unreasonable! I would be so pissed off too!

Is there a way you can lock up your stuff so that it is inaccessible to her? Like a chest or something? She isn't going to listen to your words, obviously. You will have to use bold actions.

I want a big lock box. I have wanted one (or a couple) for years. But I don`t know where to get one. I have no credit card (no job, and there`s no way I could keep a job for 6 months to get a credit card) so I can`t order one online. Maybe I can get my boyfriend to order one online using his credit card and have it shipped to my place and pay him for it. I guess I just never tried hard enough to get one.


And I`m so glad you`re so supportive, CleverKitten; I was expecting a post by a person who hadn`t read my whole post or had read it but it didn`t sink in fro them, telling me to honor my mother more or something. I was afraid to look at your reply, but I`m glad I looked. I also got a supportive PM from someoen else.

I get sooo angry when my mum does this to me. she tells me i have to much stuff and i hoard like an old women! she can't seem to understand that even though certain things may seem insignificant to her, they have special value to me! I've been like this since i was little, i hated her throwing away my broken toys and my favourite clothes even though they were worn. i sometimes feel i have more of a personal connection to my possessions then to people. I'm fed up of everyone shouting at me for keeping all my stuff and throwing it away, so i plan on getting a job and then a flat.

ps, put a lock on your bedroom door. she does not have the right to throw away your possesions that's out of order. 'Ask her how she would feel if you threw away her favourite purfume or top just because you didnt think it smelt nice or didnt think it suited her'

When I was a kid, we'd be sent to camp. While we were gone, my mom would go through our closets and get rid of everything we "didn't need anymore." It SUCKED.

you gotta get outta there, dude. but i'm sure you've heard that enough. i can't stand when people make decisions for me that i obviously have already made in the opposite direction. most of my favorite shirts have holes in them. i don't wear them to anything formal, but if i'm just lounging at home or going to the store, who cares that my shirt has a hole on top of the shoulder or under the armpit?!? it's not like the crotch is missing from my pants. it's not like i'm wearing rags. it's a shirt that has one or two damn holes in it! and i like it!

it's like, i can understand if you tell me not to wear it because it would be inappropriate. that makes sense. it even makes sense to talk to you about it and let you know that other people might not understand. except for the part where EVERYONE'S FAVORITE SHIRTS GET HOLES and most of us don't throw them away, at least not right away. all the same, it's yours and it should be your decision. even if she had been right (which she wasn't) it should have been a discussion not a "i'm gonna throw this away because she doesn't know any better." that's ridiculous.

you can find pretty decent trunks at the big box stores like walmart or target or kmart if you don't have a store near you that sells them. i recommend a strong plastic case over heavier and less movable metal or wooden chests. my friend got one from http://www.jttintl.com/ and it's awesome. it's the Model: 2962 Mobile King Kong All-Purpose Job Box (there's only two under the job box category.) but he left it in california last time he came and he's back in alberta now. i use it as a large end table. with something like this you wouldn't have to worry about her getting at anything you wanted to keep safe. one time my friend wanted to know if something was in there (but didn't think the whole thing would be worth the price of shipping) and i couldn't get into it without bolt cutters.

the store finder on the website lists amazon.com, the box stores, home improvement stores, and even hunting stores. that model's a little over 200 bucks (u.s.) though so you might find it too expensive. you can find less expensive trunks as well. you might check at a home improvement store to see how much a good wall locker would be. you could just put it in your closet and put a lock on it. or if you're the artistic type you could go nuts on it and put it in your room.
this is what my friend (the guy with the trunk) did to one.




whatever happens, that's still lame of her to throw your shirt away.

I'm not surprised you found that annoying, I agree that it not right for people to throw away other people's stuff without asking. They don't know how much that person may like the item. I remember when I once saw one of my SpongeBob books in the bin (trash can), I was lucky enough to find it in time, otherwise I may have never seen it again.

F'N christ!!You are 21.You are an adult.Your mom shouldnt even be setting foot in your room.If mine did when I was living at home a year ago, my dad would have gotten mad at her.She should respect not only your personal property, but also your privacy.If there is no suspicion of drug use or possession or anything illegal, she should not enter your room at all or touch any of your stuff.

People are too afraid to throw my stuff away. Heck, I blow up when they simply move my stuff. They know that if they ever threw away anything of mine, I'd beat them to within an inch of their life.

you should respect you're mother and obey her
LOL
im just kidding
it was really lame for her to do that, I cant even imagine, I get mad when my dad pitches my marbles, or gets rid of one of my sticks thatr looks like a rattlesnake etc.
my dad put my legos above the garage because I was too old for them "im 16" and I snuck up there and got them back but I cant imagine people throwing my stuff away

My mom used to try and throw away these shoes I have because they were all worn so she called them my "crappy shoes." I would find them in the trash and take them out. I admit it's annoying but the problem was it was her house and she didn't want them there. What if I had everything in my room that belonged to me, then it would be problem solved and she wouldn't have to worry about seeing my crappy shoes laying around. I then eventually tossed them out and she was so happy I finally did it.


My mom never really threw my stuff out but she did get rid of my old toys I had since I was one by selling them at a garage sale when I was five. I had these huge Mega Blocks I played with and she decided to sell them. She even did the same to my brother's stuff by selling their old toys from when they were toddlers. It's different if your kids aren't playing with them and have no interest in them so they are just sitting in your home un touched so it's good to just get rid of them so you have more room than wasting space. But I was still playing with these toys my mom got rid of when I was five and my brothers were still babies. I am not sure why she got rid of them. I sure would never get rid of my child's stuff if he or she were still playing with them. But the problem I would have to face is I live in a apartment and my kid will run out of room in their bedroom for their stuff so they would have to decide on their own what they want to get rid of if they want new things. Hopefully I will be in a bigger place by then. My parents want to get us a house in the future.

Shirts can be easily patched up if they have a small hole. But seriously, you need to get out of here, you're 21 now.

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