Aspies should keep this in mind when living daily.
Darian_C
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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Whenever you go outside, think of how you made it through to live another day, with everything you have before yourself.
Whenever you look at a family member, think of how they made you smile in times of need, or how they helped you and were always there for you just because.
Whenever you look at your parents or your guardians, imagine how they worked to raise you from and/or as a child.
Whenever you think you might not have friends, or things are not going well for you in any social situation and you want to back down, think of how much you want to drive the interest yourself and have something good to talk about to learn about each other. You will never lose if you show your true character to other people and avoid lying or pretending to be what you are not.
If you are in rough times, we all are in one way or another, and there is always someone out there who can guide you through new territory, to find something new.
If you think that people won't like you and think your quirky, just honestly hint them towards why and say that you being as you are do everything for some reason, even if its weird, people won't mind small things because everyone has small behavior quirks themselves. Most NTs are not completely normal themselves by what would be defined by absolute normal. Normal is just seen as a range between behavior between many people. AS, Autism, ADHD, ADD and OCD tend to carry intelligence or talent in some place or another.
Just think of it like this, you are gifted at the cost of social skill, but in fact that's a small price to pay for your freedom and independence to think as one's own self.
Many in the past have sacrificed even their lives to give freedom to others. You will always have something to sacrifice, some compromise, but balance these scales.
One problem in the life of an aspie is balance, where does balance come in place? Where is not enough and where do you go too far? You need to learn when to draw the line, when you should start getting out and living your life. The only way to get better socially is with practice, and although your gaining less experience your gaining more reward in the end from it.
One way I always made friends was because I was honest and I liked to share. I always had good values and a good outlook about myself. It's just recently that a few minor things about my act have slipped up (and I mean MINOR! for the consequences )
I always thought about things and analyzed everything but sometimes it did not get me anywhere. Sometimes this thinking came handy in case of figuring out problems and learning but when I tried to use strategies for my social situations sometimes I would usually screw up because I wasn't aware of everything about common communication in high school/adolescent+ time.
Stay around the friends other people want to be like, but not the people that will hurt you. The ones you want to be like, that you can model up to. As well as that you can meet their friends and they should be cool with you.
In closing, when you think you are alone, you are not, there are many of us out there scattered across this earth. If lucky like lottery you will perhaps come across a very likeable person that you can be close friends with. I wish good luck to you all at WrongPlanet and I hope you soon know your social skills like you know the back of your hand.
_________________
Oh I didn't know I WAS diagnosed.
amazon_television
Veteran
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Gender: Male
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Location: I woke up on 7th street
I have a present: it is the present.
You have to learn to find it within you.
If you can learn to love it,
You just might like it.
You can't live without it.
There's a million open windows.
I'm passing these open windows.
There is plenty to criticize.
It gets so easy to narrow these eyes.
But these eyes will stay wide.
I will stay young.
Young and dumb inside.
I have just begun to forget my lines.
If you could save yourself,
you could save us all.
Go on living, prove us wrong.
Your leap of faith could be
a well-timed smile.
Survival never goes out of style.
I have a message: save your generation.
We're killing each other by sleeping in.
Finnegan, begin again.
This one can be won.
One can become two.
Two can pick and choose.
You could be the first.
You have to learn
to learn from your mistakes.
You can afford to lose a little face.
The things you break,
Some can't be replaced.
A simple rule: every day be sure you wake.
-Jawbreaker
I woke up this morning thinking "great another day. Another day God will screw with me and make me feel like the social ret*d I am. No matter how hard I try not to. Another day for my mom to order me around and make me do things she is too lazy to do herself. The obnly reason they had me was to be a slave. Another day for my so called friends to say 'just be more social, act more outgoing, its all in your heead.' Another day for people on wrong planet to tell me to stop my crying.
Another day with zero support and closer to ending it.
Thats what I think about.
Aspiewordsmith
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Since 2006 the only thing I been doing is surfing the net and when I have to go out I never see anyone I know just what I perceive as a bunch of w*kers. I never get acknowledged that I am even alive. I don't bother with my family as they are fanatical aspiphobic. The only time people wanted to know me is to get something out of me such as money and not pay it back or to have a go at me and use their lunacy as an excuse. I will not speak to strangers due to the risk of harassment by neurotypicals and they aways stick their opinions where it is not wanted. This can give me a sleepless night. It is alright for other people including those with an IQ of below 70, they can have friend who really care and mean it. I have a friend, she can't be arsed to bother.
You are what you think.
886:
Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.
Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.
Well said, Ana. People who were lucky to have good parents believe it's a default.
I have accepted and made peace with the fact that I can't have friends or any kind of relationships with people. But when you can't make a living, it's impossible to accept Autism.
_________________
So-called white lies are like fake jewelry. Adorn yourself with them if you must, but expect to look cheap to a connoisseur.
A13, thank you so much for that.
_________________
Much madness is divinest sense, to a discerning eye; much sense, the starkest madness. --Emily Dickinson
http://autism-fallingintoplace.blogspot.com
Darian_C
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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Well actually I never had anyone who stuck by me and I haven't had the best parents in the world either.
Like most of you, I too have had a very troubling, disturbing past.
Darian_C
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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Joined: 26 Mar 2009
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 60
Location: Las Vegas, Nevada
I have accepted and made peace with the fact that I can't have friends or any kind of relationships with people. But when you can't make a living, it's impossible to accept Autism.
I wouldn't go as far as to say "I have no hope with this, but I'm just fine with that".
In order to make change you must first be concerned of what your making changes of.
I've improved much socially but I still have numerous problems and difficulties that still keep me apart from many people.
I do worry about my future life as an adult... It's very unlikely for me to accomplish my dreams and someday support my own family if I cannot even socialize properly.
But then again, there is always some sacrifice in your life, always some compensation.
There's always someone who is doing better or worse than you are, so be happy you hold your place in this world, because no one ever knows how much longer they'll get to experience their life...
Is there anything you have to appreciate in specific?
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