Too depressed to sleep.

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I’m sitting here typing this and I have this ugly feeling I get every night. I sit up on the internet looking for something to entertain me or lighten my mood. Can’t find anything. I just feel so weary, yet I don’t want to sleep.

I spent all day today trying to study but I just can’t get into it. Keep going back to the internet to look for something good but it’s all the same old. Last night I was up till 4:00 am and slept in till noon. It sucks. Feels like I’m wasting my days. I tried to get out of the house and take a walk but I’m constantly feeling uneasy, even out in the fresh air.

I’m getting behind in my class work again. I can’t even make myself get into it. The problem sets just don’t interest me. I start and I immediately become frustrated and want to quit. I just can’t concentrate when I’m in this depressed state.

I think living alone with no social life is slowly killing my spirit. I’m tired of the internet. Tired of everything. There’s a construction scaffold next to my apartment that blocks my view outside so I feel like I’m living in a cave.

Right now I’ve got this sensation like my brain is rotting. Like there’s this pressure behind my eyes and my whole head feels laden and bloated with something. Earlier today I drove out to get something to eat and I had this impulse of rage. The thought crossed my mind that I should just slam down the gas pedal and drive off into something.

I really want to cry right now but I can’t even muster that. I would call my parents but they live two time zones away so it’s 3:00 am for them. I just need something, I don’t know what. Something to lighten my mind. Something humorous. I can’t even find anything funny these days. It would be nice to be able to talk to someone. I don’t know what to say. Probably no one is online right now anyways.

Oh god. I know how you feel.

Don't drink.

I want to cry too. My life sucks too!!

Thanks. I think I'm finally getting tired enough where I can sleep.

I don't like to say my life sucks because I do have some things going for me, just not socially.

I don't think I have much in common with anyone. I'm so boring and I find everyone else boring. Alas, I'm so depressed. I feel like there's something physically wrong with my brain. Why can't I get excited about things like everyone else? I’m already on an antidepressant and it’s obviously not enough. What's the hell is wrong with me.

I can completely relate to this.
I barely ever sleep. I spend my nights online just browsing the internet, looking for something to make life less boring. Even if I do find something worthwhile, it's still boring. Even if I laugh about it, it's boring. I search...but never find, and most of the time I don't know exactly what i'm looking for.

I don't have any advice about this as i'm in the same situation.



Again, I can relate to this.
I quit almost everything I start. I lose interest and motivation and it seems all too hard.
To succeed, a person needs a positive outlook on life. Thats something that you (and me!) should work on getting.

Try seeking help for your depression as it is clearly impacting your life and making things difficult. Maybe you need to increase your dose of meds, or take some different ones...or maybe you just need someone to listen.
Whatever you do, good luck.

I can't get into my studies either. It's just too boring. I'm thinking of packing up the computer and forgetting about internet for a while. I think I'm feeling like that because I'm getting behind in the studies and unless I start working soon, I'll fail. Sounds like you need to catch up with a friend or play a game with someone or some people outside, like basketball or find someone to play tennis with or whatever. The exercise will make your head feel better and the pressure behind your eyes. I get all that too.
And yea don't sleep in

How lousy does your mood have be if you you're too depressed to sleep?

Sounds like you've got wicked-bad insomnia. And maybe depression.

I feel too depressed to sleep sometimes too. I feel like I won't wake up or parts of me won't. Usually I can get to sleep when adverb tells me I always do wake up.

I hope you sort things out and feel better soon, marshall.

I've been very depressed lately too. I too find everyone so boring. I crave human companionship and then if it ever happens, I'm bored to tears by them. They don't like me, I don't like them. It's mutual. Sometimes those who eternally reject me and whom I only hear talk when they're talking to others, talk to me some - and then I realize they're so boring that I'm actually lucky they hardly ever talk to me.

Thanks again everyone.

I’m thinking the problem is my living conditions. It seems like all the other graduate students in my program live in apartments with roommates. I know I couldn’t stand living with roommates so my parents helped me out by buying a nice little condo.

It’s just that I don’t know anyone where I live because everyone keeps to themselves. I’m near downtown Seattle. I like the atmosphere here but the people seem to be “too hip” for me. Nobody's that friendly or outgoing in this town and I’m so shy that I don’t initiate anything.

I don’t have any real friends at the moment. I did so much better in undergraduate. There I had my private room for sleeping and studying, but I could walk just a little ways to my friend’s dorms if I wanted to hang out. Here I have no one to hang out with. All the graduate students are busy working during the day and in the evening I go home to my apartment and sit by myself. I’m not good at initiating planned activities with people. Going out to bars and house parties just isn’t enjoyable or worthwhile for me. It would be so nice if I had people I could just come over and hang out with like I did as an undergraduate.

There’s so many things I used to enjoy as an undergraduate that I just don’t care about any more. I used to play video games a lot in my spare time, but now they just don’t interest me anymore. I’m 27 and I feel like I’m outgrowing all my old activities that kept me happy. Now I have nothing fun to do. I don’t feel like I have the time to get overly involved in fun activities, yet I spend in inordinate amount of time wasting my life away on the internet.

As for the condo, my parents were able buy half of it with a down payment because my grandmother sold her house and moved into a retirement home. I’m basically renting it from my parents (I pay the mortgage, fees, and utilities and they deal with all the other crap that goes with homeownership that I can’t make myself care about). I can’t exactly move somewhere else because the place is a large investment for my parents.

Argh. I guess my last post was really tedious or something. Everything I write seems to just die out. I really want to discuss something on how I could better my situation.

I’m feeling so suffocated by my own thoughts right now. Or are they lack of thoughts – I don’t even know. I keep deconstructing everything to the point of absurdity. It’s like I’m treading water, extending my feet in hope that there is something solid to push off from. Yet there is no bottom to it. There is nothing to hold on to or push off of. It’s like my mind is an endless chasm. Whenever I become aware that there is no bottom I feel this pang absolute desolation.

I fel kind of the same way. Not exactly the same. I feel like my brain or mind is closing in on me sometimes threatening to trap me so that I can't astro-project a moment before I die or something. When I get sick, I feel like I'm dying. I think I'm going to die. I'm too miserable to be embarrassed about the apparent stupidity of it though.

Sounds like tension and anxiety. The only way you're gonna feel better is by making progress on your study and to be able to focus you need to talk to someone in person, not on phone nor internet, with a common interest n some proper exercise not just walking. Once you've serviced those needs hopefully you'll feel better and be able to focus on some study. Socialising on internet is easy but doesn't do the trick. You need to kick yourself before you get depression.

Thanks. I'm quite sure I already have depression though.

I try to kick myself to get as many things done as I can during the day but it isn't enough.
The problem is at night when it’s nearly impossible to sleep. If it was tension anxiety I figure it would go away after I finished my assignments. It doesn’t.

It’s pure depression. I’m talking a real desolate existential type of emptiness. The evening brings it on. Talking to someone in real life does help, but there’s no one available when I need it most.

I know people at the department but they don't live within walking distance. I’ve been trying to do things with people but the most I can get in is one outing per week. That isn’t enough stimulation for me. I hate how all my social activity has to be carefully planned. There’s no one near me I can just walk over to when the need arises.

try some 5htp thats great for depression and sleep.