Anxiety stopping you from doing something you love?

Post Reply New Topic

First off, I'm new here, so hello I'm 28 and I have Asperger's, but only found out recently. All my life I have had this paranoia of things that could cause me to fall (not really sure how else to describe it LOL). Things like climbing monkey bars as a kid, swinging really high, ice/roller skating, I could never do because I am so afraid of falling. My mom said I was delayed in walking because of this too, and I didn't ride a 2-wheel bike until 3rd grade. I am not afraid of heights, per-se. I can stand on a balcony on a tall building and ride on small planes with no fear...it's when my balance is compromised that I start panicking. I even get a little bit of it when I walk on ice in a parking lot. Does anyone else have something like this? Is it related to Asperger's/autism???

Normally I just don't do things I'm afraid of...like ice skating. It's just not important to me, so I don't do it...no big deal. The problem is that this anxiety also effects my favorite thing in the world to do, horseback riding. Despite how much passion I have for it, I cannot shake the anxiety of falling off. I have only fallen off 4 times in my life, and I realize it really wasn't a big deal after it happened, but the rational side of me cannot overcome the anxiety side. I have gone through 3 horses now, had them for a while, became a slightly better rider with them, and then all-of-a-sudden the anxiety builds back up, the horse realizes it and doesn't trust me, stops listening to me, and then of course I get more afraid. I end up convincing myself it's not the right horse for me and selling them. Then I get another and the same thing happens. I am on my third, I love him dearly, and I don't want to sell him, but this is happening again. I don't want to blame it on him this time. I KNOW he is a great horse, very gentile and the only reason he is acting up is because he senses my anxiety and it makes him uneasy. The only way I can gain his trust again is to be confident, but every time I go see him, I start getting all shaky and scared before we even start.

Is there any advice anyone could give me on this? Is there something I could try specific to Asperger's that would help me better than what NT's usually tell me to do (ie: "shake it off, and just do it!")? I have tried taking lessons a few times and I think the pressure of having someone watching me just makes me worse

-Becky

I think the most common anxiety that aspies (at least the men among us) feel that can cause crippling fear is the anxiety a man gets around a woman he likes...

Don't worry, it's very common to have gravitational insecurity with autism. I get dizzy when dancing much faster than most people. A good blog that talks about this topic is Asperger Journeys. The author talks about the different methods she and her therapist use to help her develop a better sense of balance and some of them may be helpful for you to explore. The anxiety you feel is rooted in your nervous system trying to tell you it can't handle something, not in the fact that you don't love to do the things you feel afraid to do. The solution is to make it develop and grow stronger.

Wow, that seemed pointlessly harsh.

You don't need to read anyone's comments.

And aren't Aspies known for not staying in context? Aren't Aspies known for rambling, repetition, and failing to empathize? Isn't this a site where Aspies are supposed to be comfortable?

I agree with Salamander. You said a lot of mean things. These cruel comments reflect on you, you know. And I think an apology is in order.

Umm... okay...

First of all, as the OP pointed out, I was merely trying to provide my opinion on the question. The only time the words "I" or "me" appear in my previous post is to say the words "I think", for the purposes of providing my opinion...

As for the ellipses, that's just how my brain works... one idea just trails into the next... it has nothing to do with considering myself "weak"... more about how I can string thoughts together... obviously, I try to clean it up if I'm working on an college paper or something, but that takes even more time...

Finally, I'm sorry if I really do sound like a self-righteous prick in your eyes, but pity isn't what I'm looking for (otherwise I would be a gibbering idiot in response to your post)... rather all I want is for one woman in this entire world to actually love me for who I am... and I can't help but feel a little jaded when all I've known is rejection...

Anyway, both of us have spent enough time hijacking this thread. Feel free to start another one or something if you wish to discuss this topic further...