Time Management Skills-What I don't have, what I need

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Okay, here's the deal; when I was in grade school (a term I will use to refer to the time period between K-12), I had well-defined schedules and a simpler life in the suburbs. Now, having no plan and a massive amount of responsibilities on the farm combined with a lack of self-discipline and time management skills, I find myself in quite a mess.

What exactly are time management skills? How do you guys do it? How should I go about it?

Well, my definition would be being able to allocate enough time to do all the tasks one is obligated to do, and then to apportion out the remaining time (if any) to rest and relaxation and doing things that will improve ones self/life.

It can be learned. I had one heck of a time of it when I left the very structured world of K-12. What I eventually ended up doing was learning to make lists and time grids. I would examine the list of what I needed to do that week. I would prioritize it. I would look at things that had to happen before other things could happen, that sort of thing. Then I'd take my "waking hours" grid, which I had broken down into 1/2 hour increments, and plot out what I was going to do when. I forgot, at first, to leave travel time and "break" time in there, but soon learned to do it.

After you work with the grid long enough, it kind of gets to be second nature. You just do it. I did find that if I really wanted something bad enough, or to do or be somewhere bad enough, I would find a way to make myself functional enough to get there. It wasn't always easy,and sometimes it was quite unpleasant. But I did what I'd mapped out as the necessary steps, followed the timeline as much as I could, and almost always did get there.

I know it is so old school of me, I keep a large desk calendar in my bedroom on a make shift desk. I am a very visual person, and computers electricity kind of short circut me after a time, overload my eyes, my senses... so I go with paper But one could use any means that is best for them. I do much as the pp, only I don't know if mine is a "grid" or not, but I do make a monthly list and keep it to one side, or just underneath my desk calendar. I will add to this as need be through the month, and perhaps put on the back things for beyond the current month. Then I must consider mine as well as my husbands and 4 children's needs in balance with what must be accomplished. At the top of my list are everyone feeling loved, honored, at peace and safe/ healthy. THEN I worry about all the tasks, and I remember to do what matters most first, knowing burnout, life, whatever can happen and that last thing may never get done!
When I was younger, I made lists for everything, just for gettting myself ready for work. I have plenty of old spiral notebooks with scriblbes and doodles, poetry, and lists upon lists that go something like this;
breakfast
shower
make up
dressed
hair
even for my days at home I had lists;
wake up (lol)
eat
write in my journal for one hour
do my nails
watch tv while nails dry

You get the point.... I think though I didn't know how different I really was all those years, I always found ways to deal with the inner challenges of my natural make up. I found it was hard for me to do all the things I wanted/ needed to do in a day. I found I needed to think it through and solidify it by writing it out. I needed the visual of checking back at my list.

This sounds perhaps a bit silly to some, yet I think it helped me, bc as an adult I am an excellent manager of time. Much more so than my typical NT counterparts. I have also attained reletive peace about the things that can't get done, soemthing that used to upset me and make me beat myself up so much.

Keep trying, none of us gets it right in the first few yrs. It takes time to find your way and what works for YOU. Keep looking for that and trying. It won't elude you forever!