How to traumatize an 18-year-old

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Something tells me I need a truckload of trauma to the character I lack. I don't know why I thought this idea was going to work, but the planets seem to be aligned in a strange way that won't allow me to harden.

Go somewhere where there is a war going on?

I'm going to need to know how to get there.

I'm going to need to know how to get there.

As someone who's had to go through a truckload of trauma (without looking for it), I don't think you need it.

fickle, with Your Attitude, any "truckload of trauma" would simply destroy you.
it wont MAKE you hard, because your not prepared to "harden up".

you have enough on your hands right now, and your constantly complaining about it. if you were exposed to a "truckload of trauma" you'd be posting non-stop 24/7 about shadows and sliding skeletons along the walls and whatnot.

what you need is peace and quiet to get to know yourself. not trauma. not sex. none of these desperate ideas you, and others, come up with. you just need to figure your self out. "oh but for that i need money, trauma, sex and friends", well, continue to think like that, and youll never EVER come out of the little hole your in. Ever.

I think sometimes hardship 'hardens' a person, and sometimes it just psychically damages them for life. "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger -- and may also give you PTSD and other severe problems."

There's a guy I talked to last year, who was a Vietnam vet. His whole life seemed to be about trying to redeem himself from some awful sin. He was doing ok in the surface sense; had his own business, married, etc. but under it he seemed to be desperately trying to get his innocence back.

I dunno, just a big IMO here, but I think you just need to somehow learn patterns & tricks for how people play their various cruel games. Becoming a hardened AS person is likely not the same as being NT, you know? If you're kind of 'soft' or naive that's not a bad thing, you just need to figure out how to protect yourself better and/or not show it as much; it's not a failing (though I admit it's gonna make life harder).

I would, but they always give their cruel games small twists to make them completely different. It would take years at best.

I think I would, because as soon as I wanted it, the hardening would probably take place.


To get to know myself, I need a SOCIAL LIFE first!



I already have friends, the trauma and sex will come later. Of course I'm desperate, I absolutely HATE myself. The only thing likeable about me is my PHYSICAL body and my FAKE outer personality, which I'm trying to quit. Besides, being traumatized will bring me out of the chance of becoming a brain-dead optimist and weakling who fails at every turn.

I think the better idea is to kill myself or become a passenger for the rest of my life, as I will never know myself.

I can always try my alternate plan, opening up a babysitting service and traumatize every child I take care of.

NO!! ! Not Necesarily!

what do you need others for, in order to know yourself? WHAT?
ive learned EVERYTHING about my innermost self, by simply reaching into myself, and learning about myself.
the ONLY thing other people teach me, is how dysfunctional i get around other people.

"but i need friends to - " NO!! ! STOP IT!! !

you DONT need friends, sex, trauma, or whatever else you think you need.
i think your repeating all this cus:

it is your own way of protecting yourself. you are requiring things you are assuming you will not find. friends, sex, trauma, so to AVOID looking into yourself. You prefer posting here forever about your problems, because its too intimidating to imagine yourself without these problems. what would you post about? its your attempt at delaying it indefinitely.
at least thats what i think. you may consider it.

you dont need friends, sex or trauma to know yourself.

What happens when you know yourself already? I just haven't had any use from it, it doesn't seem to allow me access to other human beings in any way. f*****g useless ability, if you ask me.

The last two were not to know myself, but the second as a consequence to not feeling human, and the trauma was to turn myself cynical.

At the age of 18, I haven't grown up very much. I haven't gotten to be as observant as I should be. I'm still trapped in some degree of pity. I would say I deserve a good kicking, but then you'd think that would add to the list.

Please don't do the babysitting thing, traumatizing them at that age can have life-long consequences.

Here's an alternate plan:
a) look up a nearby recruiting station (preferably the marines, but the army will do)

b) go there and lie your ass off about any kind of health issues (you don't even have medical records as far as they're concerned). just tell them you're healthy

c) Sign up for 3 years if you can, maybe look into reserve status

d) Let some DI traumatize the crap out of you for 9-15 weeks (depending on the service), or just prove to the world that you're so tough that even they don't get to you. Either way you have nothing to lose and did I mention you get paid?

Or you can become a missionary/charity worker in some foreign country and get kidnapped. You're gonna have to put some effort into getting the full effect here. A huge plus is that you get to meet people who aren't your family, so there's plenty of self discovery involved.

Jesus!Why the heck would ya wanna do any of this?

How old are ya?For me,if Im down at times and need a reprieve, I find this helps...


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a lil something to make ya laugh

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-ERfm8qJQU&feature=related[/youtube]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dPXyEU5a94c&feature=related[/youtube]