Two more friends for my husband... zero for me.

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I tried to social this time when new neighbors moved in. She seemed kinda cool. Not a druggie like a lot are around here. She had kids and seemed to really be into parenting like I am. We talked for a few nights outside, and I thought I did an ok job.

But lately she hasn't been outside when I'm out, and hasn't come over. But I know my husband has talked to her quite a bit when he's outside smoking, and her husband talks to him. They text each other quite a bit. (the husband and mine) And today she asked my husband for a ride to the store. The husband recently lost his grandmother, and my husband wrote him a long email telling him he was there for him, etc.. so it seems they've got a good bond already. And I've fallen short again.

.... I'm having a horrible day for other reasons...so I'm sure its just bleeding into each other, but.. this isn't the first time this has happened. I end up feeling totally discarded, and my husband picks up another friend. Meanwhile, I could really use someone to talk to about my oldest daughter. (I woke up to a para suicidal note left by my door because she's unhappy about recent rules that were laid down.) I guess thats what I pay someone 100 an hour to do when I go to therapy... be my "friend."

I don't even see the reason why I try anymore. I'm the type of person thats always wanted one good friend, but never been able to make or keep one. I don't even have a bunch of fake friends.

Ugh. I just wanted to vent. I don't know what I'm doing wrong really. I tried really hard this time too.

We're your friends, DD. And you don't have to TRY at all. We like you 'cause you're one of us (the good guys).

Indeed.

Thanks guys.
You have the distinct honor of being the only people to make me smile all day.


and I apologize for my spelling mistakes in the last post. I am mortified I was that upset to forgo the proof reading!

Thirded!

Fourthed!

I do know how you feel. The same thing keeps happening to me. It's bad enough when I get rejected by the neighbor ladies, but when both them, and their husbands seem to prefer my husband's company it's so much worse. He goes outside to do stuff at least one of the neighbors will come, and chat. That never happens to me. One lady even came to our door asking for him, and when I said he wasn't here she said she'd come back later. Come to find out that she just wanted to ask him a question that I could've easily answered.

I'm sorry that you're having such a hard time. My PM box is always open if you need to talk.

Hardly the end of the world, (and if it is, it doesn't deserve to be) so we (meaning I, can't really talk for the others. ^^) forgive you with open hearts.

omgosh! You do know exactly what I'm talking about then! I had to laugh when I read your message, because the same exact thing happens here all the time. Women knock on the door for him all the time and don't bother to ask me what they were thinking of asking him.

Tonight I finally told my husband what was bothering me and I ended up having a meltdown that ended in crying and blubbering. I said something to the effect of, "People come knock on the door for my cousin, people knock on the door for you. Every single day! No one ever knocks on the door for me. Sometimes I just get sad about it and wish there were people that wanted ME for a friend. We try to make friends with people, and you end up inadvertently stealing my friend."

I know it sounds totally juvenile, and I cringe when I hear myself say things like that.. but its how it feels you know?

I watch my husband make these connections with people that I can't even begin to understand. We barely know the new neighbors that moved in. And yet, I guess the husbands grandfather died.. the wife told my husband this. So my husband sent him a long text message about how sorry he was, and that he was there if he needed to talk, etc.. I understand he's trying to be nice.. but I don't understand why my husband even cares. I guess I could see caring if they were super close friends.. but..eh.. to me I guess my husband makes friends easily. Not only is he friends, but he's super close friends! All into that emotional give and take stuff that I'm not good at I suppose.

Am I supposed to care about that too?

At this stage, it would feel really awkward for me to "care" about that. I don't feel like I'm close enough to "care."

(of course all this stuff makes me feel like a dink because I'm sure "normal" people care. )

Easy comes, easy goes. Never forgett that. Most people will "be there for you" as long as it's not needed.

We are here for you, even if we can't knock at your door.

Yes. We are here for you. We must support each other because no one else will.

Hang in there.

i completely understand.

we're here for you, if that helps any

I totally understand, as my ex was the same way. Fortunately he was good about explaining how he got people to respond to him and paitent with my meltdowns. How did your hubby react to your meltdown? Was he suppotrive. That helps a lot.

I don't see how it sounds juvenile at all. What's juvenile about being lonely, and feeling rejected? Like I said, it would be one thing if I were just rejected, but it's so much worse when I see my better half socializing with the same people, and being accepted by them. It's then that I know that it's not them, it's definitely me.

My husband doesn't become super close friends with a lot of people, though. He's pretty introverted, so he'd never offer to talk about feelings with other men. He'd offer to fix something with them, or go do something with them, instead.

Since finding out about AS not having/being able to make friends doesn't bother me as much as it used to. I have to admit, though it would be nice to have a couple of friends, even if they weren't close friends. Like you said, someone to compare notes on parenting, and to go out and do things with every now and again would be nice. It can really dent one's self-esteem when others seem to not prefer your company

It has gotten easier since I was diagnosed with Asperger's to realize why I have a hard time making friends at least. It hasn't taken the sting out of it when I see it right in my face though.

My husband is very supportive of me when I have these meltdowns. He knows I'm not upset at him, just sorta upset that it KEEPS happening to me. That as much as I try, it ends the same. And he knows how hard I really try at this friendship thing. He said he wished he could help more, but that women confuse him anyway.