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Kezzstar
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06 Aug 2009, 5:38 am

Two years ago I was diagnosed with AS. I can say that I am happy with where I am as a person.

But I am still so FRUSTRATED!

I go to work at my new job (I left the warehouse) but it is more of the same stuff! I thought working in IT meant no more warehousing, but I was wrong. That doesn't bother me though.

The fact is people get my back up just by being in the same room as me. I want to be left alone. The only person who doesn't cause me pain by being near me is my boyfriend, KJ. But then he is the reason I can't get away from work.

Even if I were to shorten my working hours from 38 hours a week (8 hours Mon-Thurs. 6 hours Fri) to 30 hours a week (6 hours a day) I would probably be happier. But we now have a mortgage, and his mother has already told him behind my back that I take too much time off work. The guys at work are no help. They are of the "harden up" mold-which has already gotten me injured, trying to bite off more than I could chew trying to avoid getting abused. There is one guy who is the worst for this, always telling me to grow some mucsles and giving me his work (mundane tasks) on top of my 'warehousing' duties. I feel stressed, sick, scared, tired, angry and most of all FRUSTRATED at work. It is painful and drains all my energy, it makes me so ill. And it doesn't stop there. My family are the best at stressing me out, but I really don't want to go into that right now, because my mind is trying to block them out.

I want to tell KJ that I want to shorten my working hours. I know that work is frustrating, but I know I have to try. But I am scared of what KJ will say, and how it will confirm to his mother that I am a 'gold digger'. Okay, I might not have a uni degree, but neither does she. I don't want to be a gold digger (which it probably seems like I am because I just don't value money). I just want to be with KJ and my dog Morgan and write my books and entertain people from afar.

I just want to be left alone.

Sorry for being a whiny baby, but I just wanted it out of my system before I start crying.


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barbedlotus
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06 Aug 2009, 5:50 am

Your not being whiny at all. I don't know if it's an option or not, but have you looked into anything that offer's work-at-home. Not the scam stuff like mystery shoppers, but things like medical transcription. I work seasonally at a few jobs, but two are my favorite. I typeset part of the year for a tax software company and run a craft business via etsy to cover the gaps of regular employment. The software company decided it was cheaper to have us work from home (not to mention a bit safer when you consider how winter gets here) and it is definitely the part of the year I'm the happiest. No coworker to deal with in person, everything through e-mail, it's freaking heaven. Not to mention I get to pick my breaks and hang out with my kid while working. I think the fact that I work seasonal and get little breaks between one jobs season and the others. My mother's friend does the medical transcription thing and makes a good living wage off it. I'm seriously tempted to take a break from my current school path to get certified and do that until I graduate and use it as a back up job if the field I want to go into doesn't work out.



Kezzstar
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06 Aug 2009, 5:56 am

barbedlotus wrote:
Your not being whiny at all. I don't know if it's an option or not, but have you looked into anything that offer's work-at-home. Not the scam stuff like mystery shoppers, but things like medical transcription. I work seasonally at a few jobs, but two are my favorite. I typeset part of the year for a tax software company and run a craft business via etsy to cover the gaps of regular employment. The software company decided it was cheaper to have us work from home (not to mention a bit safer when you consider how winter gets here) and it is definitely the part of the year I'm the happiest. No coworker to deal with in person, everything through e-mail, it's freaking heaven. Not to mention I get to pick my breaks and hang out with my kid while working. I think the fact that I work seasonal and get little breaks between one jobs season and the others. My mother's friend does the medical transcription thing and makes a good living wage off it. I'm seriously tempted to take a break from my current school path to get certified and do that until I graduate and use it as a back up job if the field I want to go into doesn't work out.


I could look into it, but I'm also on a traineeship right now (I guess that explains and somewhat justifies the abuse a little bit).


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LostAlien
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06 Aug 2009, 12:40 pm

Kezzstar wrote:
Two years ago I was diagnosed with AS. I can say that I am happy with where I am as a person.

But I am still so FRUSTRATED!

I go to work at my new job (I left the warehouse) but it is more of the same stuff! I thought working in IT meant no more warehousing, but I was wrong. That doesn't bother me though.

The fact is people get my back up just by being in the same room as me. I want to be left alone. The only person who doesn't cause me pain by being near me is my boyfriend, KJ. But then he is the reason I can't get away from work.

Even if I were to shorten my working hours from 38 hours a week (8 hours Mon-Thurs. 6 hours Fri) to 30 hours a week (6 hours a day) I would probably be happier. But we now have a mortgage, and his mother has already told him behind my back that I take too much time off work. The guys at work are no help. They are of the "harden up" mold-which has already gotten me injured, trying to bite off more than I could chew trying to avoid getting abused. There is one guy who is the worst for this, always telling me to grow some mucsles and giving me his work (mundane tasks) on top of my 'warehousing' duties. I feel stressed, sick, scared, tired, angry and most of all FRUSTRATED at work. It is painful and drains all my energy, it makes me so ill. And it doesn't stop there. My family are the best at stressing me out, but I really don't want to go into that right now, because my mind is trying to block them out.

I want to tell KJ that I want to shorten my working hours. I know that work is frustrating, but I know I have to try. But I am scared of what KJ will say, and how it will confirm to his mother that I am a 'gold digger'. Okay, I might not have a uni degree, but neither does she. I don't want to be a gold digger (which it probably seems like I am because I just don't value money). I just want to be with KJ and my dog Morgan and write my books and entertain people from afar.

I just want to be left alone.

Sorry for being a whiny baby, but I just wanted it out of my system before I start crying.


What does KJ think? and how did you find out about what his Mother said to him? His opinion is the one that counts, not his Mothers. Good communication is a very important part of a healthy relationship and you're going out with him and not his Mother. Also, I don't think you're being whiny at all, I think you have genuine emotional pain that you need some support with and here is a good place to get it.


Though, I'm wondering why this guy at work is giving you his work? He should be earning his paycheque too. I mean, if he's giving you some or all of his work to do, he doesn't deserve to be paid for you doing it. I don't know a healthy way to stop him giving you his work though.



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06 Aug 2009, 2:51 pm

LostAlien wrote:
Kezzstar wrote:
Two years ago I was diagnosed with AS. I can say that I am happy with where I am as a person.

But I am still so FRUSTRATED!

I go to work at my new job (I left the warehouse) but it is more of the same stuff! I thought working in IT meant no more warehousing, but I was wrong. That doesn't bother me though.

The fact is people get my back up just by being in the same room as me. I want to be left alone. The only person who doesn't cause me pain by being near me is my boyfriend, KJ. But then he is the reason I can't get away from work.

Even if I were to shorten my working hours from 38 hours a week (8 hours Mon-Thurs. 6 hours Fri) to 30 hours a week (6 hours a day) I would probably be happier. But we now have a mortgage, and his mother has already told him behind my back that I take too much time off work. The guys at work are no help. They are of the "harden up" mold-which has already gotten me injured, trying to bite off more than I could chew trying to avoid getting abused. There is one guy who is the worst for this, always telling me to grow some mucsles and giving me his work (mundane tasks) on top of my 'warehousing' duties. I feel stressed, sick, scared, tired, angry and most of all FRUSTRATED at work. It is painful and drains all my energy, it makes me so ill. And it doesn't stop there. My family are the best at stressing me out, but I really don't want to go into that right now, because my mind is trying to block them out.

I want to tell KJ that I want to shorten my working hours. I know that work is frustrating, but I know I have to try. But I am scared of what KJ will say, and how it will confirm to his mother that I am a 'gold digger'. Okay, I might not have a uni degree, but neither does she. I don't want to be a gold digger (which it probably seems like I am because I just don't value money). I just want to be with KJ and my dog Morgan and write my books and entertain people from afar.

I just want to be left alone.

Sorry for being a whiny baby, but I just wanted it out of my system before I start crying.


What does KJ think? and how did you find out about what his Mother said to him? His opinion is the one that counts, not his Mothers. Good communication is a very important part of a healthy relationship and you're going out with him and not his Mother. Also, I don't think you're being whiny at all, I think you have genuine emotional pain that you need some support with and here is a good place to get it.


Though, I'm wondering why this guy at work is giving you his work? He should be earning his paycheque too. I mean, if he's giving you some or all of his work to do, he doesn't deserve to be paid for you doing it. I don't know a healthy way to stop him giving you his work though.


He kind of creeps me out. He's always checking up on my jobs, and this week he sent me a photo of his wife (he has also sent me a picture of his dog, but we'd been talking about dogs so that kind of wasn't so weird).


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http://www.normalautistic.blogspot.com.au - please read and leave a comment!


willmark
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06 Aug 2009, 3:55 pm

Kezzstar wrote:
He kind of creeps me out. He's always checking up on my jobs, and this week he sent me a photo of his wife (he has also sent me a picture of his dog, but we'd been talking about dogs so that kind of wasn't so weird).

It sounds to me like the dude might think he is being helpful to you. Perhaps he is trying to help you learn by letting you see his work. I could be wrong, but the fact that he is sharing pictures of his wife and his dog, make it sound to me like he is trying to be open with you. Maybe you need to have a talk with him and explain how he is coming across to you. It sounds more like miss communication to me. I hope I am right.



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07 Aug 2009, 3:39 am

willmark wrote:
Kezzstar wrote:
He kind of creeps me out. He's always checking up on my jobs, and this week he sent me a photo of his wife (he has also sent me a picture of his dog, but we'd been talking about dogs so that kind of wasn't so weird).

It sounds to me like the dude might think he is being helpful to you. Perhaps he is trying to help you learn by letting you see his work. I could be wrong, but the fact that he is sharing pictures of his wife and his dog, make it sound to me like he is trying to be open with you. Maybe you need to have a talk with him and explain how he is coming across to you. It sounds more like miss communication to me. I hope I am right.


I don't think so, this is the guy who if I ask for help moving stuff will give me grief for not being able to do it myself. He is quite condescending (four syllables!) to me.

Meh.


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willmark
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07 Aug 2009, 7:03 am

Kezzstar wrote:
willmark wrote:
Kezzstar wrote:
He kind of creeps me out. He's always checking up on my jobs, and this week he sent me a photo of his wife (he has also sent me a picture of his dog, but we'd been talking about dogs so that kind of wasn't so weird).

It sounds to me like the dude might think he is being helpful to you. Perhaps he is trying to help you learn by letting you see his work. I could be wrong, but the fact that he is sharing pictures of his wife and his dog, make it sound to me like he is trying to be open with you. Maybe you need to have a talk with him and explain how he is coming across to you. It sounds more like miss communication to me. I hope I am right.


I don't think so, this is the guy who if I ask for help moving stuff will give me grief for not being able to do it myself. He is quite condescending (four syllables!) to me.

Meh.

And he doesn't notice that you are a woman after all? Maybe Australia is a strange culture compared to Texas. I'm sorry you are having to put up with such ungentleman like behavior. It certainly doesn't make any sense.



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08 Aug 2009, 4:47 am

willmark wrote:
Kezzstar wrote:
willmark wrote:
Kezzstar wrote:
He kind of creeps me out. He's always checking up on my jobs, and this week he sent me a photo of his wife (he has also sent me a picture of his dog, but we'd been talking about dogs so that kind of wasn't so weird).

It sounds to me like the dude might think he is being helpful to you. Perhaps he is trying to help you learn by letting you see his work. I could be wrong, but the fact that he is sharing pictures of his wife and his dog, make it sound to me like he is trying to be open with you. Maybe you need to have a talk with him and explain how he is coming across to you. It sounds more like miss communication to me. I hope I am right.


I don't think so, this is the guy who if I ask for help moving stuff will give me grief for not being able to do it myself. He is quite condescending (four syllables!) to me.

Meh.

And he doesn't notice that you are a woman after all? Maybe Australia is a strange culture compared to Texas. I'm sorry you are having to put up with such ungentleman like behavior. It certainly doesn't make any sense.


He just annoys me, especially when he starts bragging about his sports injuries. Don't get me started on his lack of respect for personal space.

I cringe every time he walks into the office. I try to stay as far away from him as possible. I wish I could talk to the boss, but my gut feeling says don't trust the boss. I get the feeling he's saying stuff behind my back........ besides, Nanna says to always trust your gut.

Oh well. I guess I'll keep telling him that I have my own work to do (which I do) until he gets the hint. *sigh*


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tweety_fan
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08 Aug 2009, 6:57 am

maybe having a chat with your boss could be useful.


workers should not be forced to bite off more than they can chew.



Kezzstar
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08 Aug 2009, 7:09 am

tweety_fan wrote:
maybe having a chat with your boss could be useful.


workers should not be forced to bite off more than they can chew.


Like I said, I do NOT trust the boss. I've noticed him talking about other employees behind their backs. I don't want to know what he is saying about me.


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08 Aug 2009, 7:54 am

awww
it's 5AM in the morning here, i've been up all night, and my concentration is zero right now so i couldn't comprehend much of your post, but i got the gist of it, and feel bad for you.

*virtual hug*

there, now i'm going to bed. *yawn*

-_- zZzZz....


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willmark
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08 Aug 2009, 2:02 pm

Kezzstar wrote:
willmark wrote:
Kezzstar wrote:
willmark wrote:
Kezzstar wrote:
He kind of creeps me out. He's always checking up on my jobs, and this week he sent me a photo of his wife (he has also sent me a picture of his dog, but we'd been talking about dogs so that kind of wasn't so weird).

It sounds to me like the dude might think he is being helpful to you. Perhaps he is trying to help you learn by letting you see his work. I could be wrong, but the fact that he is sharing pictures of his wife and his dog, make it sound to me like he is trying to be open with you. Maybe you need to have a talk with him and explain how he is coming across to you. It sounds more like miss communication to me. I hope I am right.


I don't think so, this is the guy who if I ask for help moving stuff will give me grief for not being able to do it myself. He is quite condescending (four syllables!) to me.

Meh.

And he doesn't notice that you are a woman after all? Maybe Australia is a strange culture compared to Texas. I'm sorry you are having to put up with such ungentleman like behavior. It certainly doesn't make any sense.


He just annoys me, especially when he starts bragging about his sports injuries. Don't get me started on his lack of respect for personal space.

I cringe every time he walks into the office. I try to stay as far away from him as possible. I wish I could talk to the boss, but my gut feeling says don't trust the boss. I get the feeling he's saying stuff behind my back........ besides, Nanna says to always trust your gut.

Oh well. I guess I'll keep telling him that I have my own work to do (which I do) until he gets the hint. *sigh*

I hope for your sake that he's the type that get's hints.



Kezzstar
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09 Aug 2009, 12:17 am

Thanks Sean *virtual hug back* You sleep well oky-doky?

to willmark: I hope so too. I really do............


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Kezzstar
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10 Aug 2009, 1:23 am

After today I would really really appreciate being able to leave work at 2pm. After that, I'm pretty much burnt out and at meltdown stage (I guess it's a good thing I know how to hold it all in?) and by 3pm I want to cry.

The thing is my boyfriend. I tried to bring the subject up with him, but he was less than understanding. I don't want to end it, especially with a mortgage on the line, but I have to think of my health. I'm going to take a guess and say that being close to tears at the end of the day really isn't great for me. I hope one day I will be able to work full hours, but right now it is just stressful and upsetting.

I guess I should try and talk to him about it again, and gauge his reaction from there.

I love my boyfriend.

I'm scared and upset, but I don't see any alternative. It's not like I want to stop working full-stop (I LIKE being able to say I earn my own wage and that I pay my taxes), I just want to shorten my hours a little. Isn't that compromise?

:cry:


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Gordon, "Thomas the Tank Engine and Friends: Whistles and Sneezes"
http://www.normalautistic.blogspot.com.au - please read and leave a comment!


willmark
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10 Aug 2009, 7:11 am

Kezzstar wrote:
I guess I should try and talk to him about it again, and gauge his reaction from there.

I love my boyfriend.

I'm scared and upset, but I don't see any alternative. It's not like I want to stop working full-stop (I LIKE being able to say I earn my own wage and that I pay my taxes), I just want to shorten my hours a little. Isn't that compromise?

:cry:

I wish I had an answer for you. Looks like you will have to find that one yourself. Perhaps it's your boyfriend that I need to pray for.
{{{{{{{{ HUGS }}}}}}}}}