I stabbed someone, my friend said its embarrassing...

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Alraune144
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12 Aug 2009, 11:10 am

Bc of my violent felony charge I was denied medical and cash assistance at welfare last week, I was mad and complaining outside and I said loud enough for others to hear, I don't get how me stabbing someone can mess with my benefits, she got mad and said its embarrassing for people to know that, I don't know why, it happened, its not like he died or anything, anyone able to explain why its embarrassing, its just a fact as I see it...


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GreatCeleryStalk
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12 Aug 2009, 12:07 pm

Well... loss of control in that fashion, at least in broader American culture, is often considered to be embarrassing.

I mean.. you did stab someone. That's not exactly rational unless it's in self defense.



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12 Aug 2009, 12:42 pm

I think your friend was saying they were embarrassed to be seen with someone who had stabbed somebody. They didn't want other people to know about it, because they were afraid of being judged.

Edit: embarrassment = fear of being judged.



ZEGH8578
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12 Aug 2009, 12:49 pm

for the sake of our sympathy to you, please add more info than "so what i stabbed someone! they didnt die or anything"

what are they on life support?
in a coma?
did you break into their house?

a minimum of details would be good.


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Miyah
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12 Aug 2009, 1:22 pm

Well, why did you stab someone? What did they do to cause you to sink to their level? As for your friend, that's a pretty cold statement to say.



carzak
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12 Aug 2009, 4:29 pm

Quote:
anyone able to explain why its embarrassing, its just a fact as I see it...


[Content removed - M. This is the Haven, keep it comments constructive.]



Alraune144
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12 Aug 2009, 7:03 pm

I was drunk, he got in my face, I had knife in hand, I dropped it, he went for it, i got it first and stabbed him in shoulder...


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carzak
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12 Aug 2009, 11:14 pm

Wait, my comment was removed for not being constructive? Here is what I said, roughly:

You should be ashamed for resorting to violence and stabbing someone.

Is that too offensive or disagreable to tell a person that who admitted to stabbing someone and being found guilty of a felony? Why should I coddle this person just because they posted in "The Haven"?

As for your inability to empathize with your friend, I made the suggestion that you should try to imagine a situation where you would be ashamed/embarrased by their actions. That is the only way to understand how they feel.

Here is an example- Your friend exclaims to you, "Man, that bartender won't serve me just because I told him I raped someone." Wouldn't you be embarrased by the negative attention that would get?

How is that not constructive?



Alraune144
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13 Aug 2009, 12:35 am

carzak wrote:
Wait, my comment was removed for not being constructive? Here is what I said, roughly:

You should be ashamed for resorting to violence and stabbing someone.

Is that too offensive or disagreable to tell a person that who admitted to stabbing someone and being found guilty of a felony? Why should I coddle this person just because they posted in "The Haven"?

As for your inability to empathize with your friend, I made the suggestion that you should try to imagine a situation where you would be ashamed/embarrased by their actions. That is the only way to understand how they feel.

Here is an example- Your friend exclaims to you, "Man, that bartender won't serve me just because I told him I raped someone." Wouldn't you be embarrased by the negative attention that would get?

How is that not constructive?


Rape is alot worse then stabbing somebody...


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ZEGH8578
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13 Aug 2009, 10:28 am

Alraune144 wrote:
carzak wrote:
Wait, my comment was removed for not being constructive? Here is what I said, roughly:

You should be ashamed for resorting to violence and stabbing someone.

Is that too offensive or disagreable to tell a person that who admitted to stabbing someone and being found guilty of a felony? Why should I coddle this person just because they posted in "The Haven"?

As for your inability to empathize with your friend, I made the suggestion that you should try to imagine a situation where you would be ashamed/embarrased by their actions. That is the only way to understand how they feel.

Here is an example- Your friend exclaims to you, "Man, that bartender won't serve me just because I told him I raped someone." Wouldn't you be embarrased by the negative attention that would get?

How is that not constructive?


Rape is alot worse then stabbing somebody...


ridiculous statement.
i can be ridiculous too:
rape herman goering. stab newborn babies.
whats worse?

so... you basically went for your knife, to stab a guy, for being drunk and getting in your face.
so you want sympathy, for being looked upon as a weirdo, for stabbing someone.

okay, okay, ill do my best:

oh my, thats so mean of your friends. if i was your friend, and you stabbed people, i'd totally respect that
cus maybe you'd stab me next time HAW HAW.

im a lousy friend.


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Alraune144
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13 Aug 2009, 11:30 am

ZEGH8578 wrote:
Alraune144 wrote:
carzak wrote:
Wait, my comment was removed for not being constructive? Here is what I said, roughly:

You should be ashamed for resorting to violence and stabbing someone.

Is that too offensive or disagreable to tell a person that who admitted to stabbing someone and being found guilty of a felony? Why should I coddle this person just because they posted in "The Haven"?

As for your inability to empathize with your friend, I made the suggestion that you should try to imagine a situation where you would be ashamed/embarrased by their actions. That is the only way to understand how they feel.

Here is an example- Your friend exclaims to you, "Man, that bartender won't serve me just because I told him I raped someone." Wouldn't you be embarrased by the negative attention that would get?

How is that not constructive?


Rape is alot worse then stabbing somebody...


ridiculous statement.
i can be ridiculous too:
rape herman goering. stab newborn babies.
whats worse?

so... you basically went for your knife, to stab a guy, for being drunk and getting in your face.
so you want sympathy, for being looked upon as a weirdo, for stabbing someone.

okay, okay, ill do my best:

oh my, thats so mean of your friends. if i was your friend, and you stabbed people, i'd totally respect that
cus maybe you'd stab me next time HAW HAW.

im a lousy friend.



More like a lousy person...


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Harsh_Truth
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13 Aug 2009, 11:49 am

It's embarassing because where the hell do you get the gall to feel entitled to receive welfare while stabbing people around?



Alraune144
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13 Aug 2009, 12:13 pm

Harsh_Truth wrote:
It's embarassing because where the hell do you get the gall to feel entitled to receive welfare while stabbing people around?


I need money and medication and so on...I plead guilty...I owned up for it...


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13 Aug 2009, 12:25 pm

Attention: This is the Haven; keep your replies supportive and/or constructive, or choose to read elsewhere.


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carzak
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13 Aug 2009, 7:32 pm

Quote:
Rape is alot worse then stabbing somebody...


You're missing the point. Fill in "rape" with anything that your friend could say that would make you embarrassed or ashamed. It doesn't even have to be a criminal act. I picked rape because it is something that most people strongly object to.

I originally thought you posted because you wanted help understanding your friend, but I'm geting the feeling that you were really just venting and don't want anyone's input, so I'll just bow out.



ryan93
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13 Aug 2009, 9:57 pm

Quote:
I was drunk, he got in my face, I had knife in hand, I dropped it, he went for it, i got it first and stabbed him in shoulder...


Meh, I don't really blame you, but brandishing a knife was excessive. You shouldn't really have done that when your were drunk, but I'm not going to be a condescending ass to you, you did what you did, and it's done, so me ranting about violence is pointless. In any case, while I'm not a violent person in general, if someone crossed the line and I had the legal advantage I would thrash them to pieces without sympathy.

Anyway, they are embarrased because by committing a violent crime you've just been pushed into a box with the gays, transgenders, criminals, goths (oddly), foreigners, hippies and any other minority group that people see as sub-human. By stabbing that guy you've been ostracised, and hence you've lost your benefits.

It's "embarrasing" for anyone to be seen with someone from any of these "groups", and they don't want to be guilty by association. If I was best friends with a guys for ten years, and then told him that I'm a gay, muslim, down-syndrome transman there's not a very big chance that he'd still talk to me (btw, I didn't pick that example to insinuate there is something wrong with gay, muslim, down-syndrome transmen, in fact some of my best friends are gay, muslim, down-syndrome transmen).

TBH the whole stigmatisation of felons is a little odd to me, I understand the necessity of the justice system and prisons, but it's not nessesary to look down on a criminal just because his acts are evil, or even he is an entirely evil person himself. We of all people should know that people are essentially hard-wired, and a criminal was born with criminal tendencies, just as an aspie was born different to others. Nurture helps, but at the end of the day some people just want to rob cars and stab people in the shoulder we should try understand that people aren't random, they are programmed, and their consciousness is often along for the ride. :)

I'm assuming your posting because you want to get this off your chest a little, so tell us, how did you feel after you stabbed him?

Edit: I know this is random, but nonetheless I think it's important that I say it:

ZEGH8578, you remind me of this stark-raving mad canadian I used to know. That was a compliment, you just don't know it yet :wink:


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