Traumatised, death, faithless

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I have been bullied ever since I came to high school. My hair, my voice, what I say, the way I do things. My beliefs and views, my likes and hates. All of it has been subjected to taunts and sneers.And the school, even though they know what is happening to me, has done nothing.

Now, I am finding it so difficult to get up in the mornings, because I know that I am alone. At least for the last two years, I've actually thought that the authorities might help me. But no. Last year, when I bullied so badly, they did nothing. The people who had been bullying me weren't punished, and I was left traumatized, depressed and without an ounce of faith left in the system.

Every day, I am picked on. And every day, teachers and other students turn a blind eye. Every night, I end up crying myself to sleep. Because I now know that there is no hope. That there is no light at the end of the tunnel.

i was bullied for 9 years straight, non stop, every day.

you need a change of scenario, change of crowd, and mark these words:
once you are in front of a new crowd, remember that they see A Person. they have Yet To Know You.
so, straight back, chin up, look strong, and peoples 1st impression will be "strong person" and then get used to that.

once the bullying ended, i realized:
1. im not a pygmy, in fact, i am average height. i am even taller than some friends.
2. im not visibly lame. im lame only cus the bullies and their crowd labelled me lame, and remembered it year after year. new people see me, and think "hey, a guy!" and not "wow, how lame!"

just remember this. bullies go for you cus their weak and all, its their problem, unfortunately theire making it yours, but IN TIME youll be rid of them. they wont hang on your tail forever. just hang on, wait it out, and once theyre gone, remind yourself that you are a new and neutral and cool person to the new people you will meet.

http://www.smelena.com/article_bullying.php

Just so sorry, FieryGatoh. Bullying REALLY HURTS and you're perfectly right in that the damage can be very serious. Check out the URL above. The author, smelena, is/was a WP member and she encouraged me to share her site. Note: Still under construction, so when you see 'Apos' that's supposed to mean an apostrophe sign.

Anyway, do check her advice from Dr Tony Atwood. Maybe there's someone you can ask - you must. Bullying is oftentimes totally ignored when the effects can be even potentially lethal. Aspies are bully magnets too. Just so sorry, and please find another way, even if that means having an advocate, changing schools, etc.

Cannot say how sorry I am.....there will be a better way. Lab Pet is lousy at advice but you could PRINT the link above (it's not long) and give it to your school counselor, parent, or trusted other. Tell them - what you're enduring is excruciating and you should not be treated like that.

But how can I change the way people are viewing me now? Everyone at school knows me as the loser, as a loner, as a ret*d. I get bullied by people I don't even know, who i've never even spoken to before.

How can I change the way people view me if they have already made their minds up by the rumors that they have heard?

^ I think we posted at precisely the same time! Anyway, agreed; a change must be made - you're suffering is way too much (and just not fair). Is there one you can tell? I guess the teachers at your school would not be a resource but there are those who can help. The bad part about bullying is that it does not just 'magically go away.' And you did not do anything wrong at all! Not your fault they're indulging themselves and shame on the school system for not acting. I feel just sick reading your post......that you're treated as a loner, loser...etc. You're not.

Really can change this but you'll need a resource to assist. Find that resource (even a medical doctor, if necessary, or someone with authority).

The site I posted can give you a start and there's references so you can SHOW what is happening to you. Bullying is just torture.

Hope you feel better soon, FieryGatoh. And maybe a 'start over,' yes?

This somewhat worked for me.....I wore army fatigues to school and drew guns in my notebooks...and that freaked people out enough to get the guidance counsellor noticing...once that happens, they have NO CHOICE but to acknowledge your situation.You may have to dress in a way to start scaring people.I came from a small town so their was no way out for me but to scare the bullies.

Hi, FieryGatoh. I'm an Australian secondary school teacher, so maybe I can make some suggestions that might help.

First, your school HAS to take action to stop the bullying- it has no choice. Do you attend a government school? The regulations for those regarding bullying are much stronger than for private schools.

Your parents should phone your Year Level Coordinator to discuss the problem and ask for the school to resolve it. If this doesn't achieve anything, your parents should then make a written complaint to to your school's principal. Written complaints are taken a lot more seriously. The fact that you have an Asperger's diagnosis would place your school under even MORE pressure to act, as otherwise it could face allegations of discrimination on the basis of disability.

Does your school have a Student Welfare Coordinator or counsellor of some kind? This person needs to be informed of the bullying, either by you or by your parents. And is there a Special Needs Coordinator who oversees your education because of your Asperger's diagnosis? There SHOULD be someone responsible for giving you assistance and modifying school programs to meet your needs.

You should NOT be placed under this much stress- the bullying has to stop. Please ask your parents to take some action first thing on Monday, ok? Jenny

Thanks for the replies everybody. It is nice to see that some people do care about my situation. It really does help.

@Labpet - Thanks for the link, I've been reading over it. It feels strange to read over a page that is describing exactly what is happening to me, how I feel.

@Jennyishere - I attend a government school, and the year adviser, Student welfare coordinator, counselor and deputies have all been informed of my problems. Unfortunately, it hasn't worked. The only time that anyone has spoken to me about the problem, it has been after I hit someone, and again after I nearly hit someone. Both of those times, all I have been told is to stay away from those people. They get away without punishment, and I am left feeling as though I've done something wrong.

Your school is not acting responsibly, FieryGatoh. Much more needs to be done. I strongly suggest that your parents write a detailed complaint to your school principal outlining the problems that you have been experiencing and the actions (or lack of them) that have been taken by the school so far. Your parents should also insist on meeting with the principal, with you present if you can handle it, to discuss their concerns further.

If this doesn't get a satisfactory response, your parents should then take their complaint a step higher, to your local regional director of education. These directors can place a LOT of pressure on principals to act. A threat to take the matter to the local newspaper can also have a powerful effect on your school. Don't put up with this pooor treatment, please. Jenny

Lab Pet thinks jennyishere's advice is optimal & very thoughtful.....hope that helps, FieryGatoh. That you stated the dilemma means it's fixable & Jenny gave direction too. In reality, I almost don't know an Autist who has not experiened bullying - so your hurt is not discounted, I promise!

If you wish, just as a conduit, there is a small informal site for other ASD individuals (started from a Wrong Planet inhabitant) where you can visit.

http://autismjustice.ning.com/

Plus, Professor Attwood's site has resource books - this could help with perspective for those in your school, such as Administrators, etc. An advocate can help facilitate change.

So important to do well in school and not let bullying be an obstacle