I'm having a very bad day Close to a breakdown

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My Day sucks, and its come after months of being down and i'm near my breaking point. I've been chating with a nice girl i'm friends with and I was hoping we'd get to be more. We usually share breakfast and she often needs someone to talk too and she listens to me. She's smart and very understanding but this morrning she told me she's found a guy she likes and while she wants to remian my friend she "needs to see less of me", i'm crushed. She's basicly the last free girl I know, now they are all involved. I literaly dont know anyone whos free thats atractive to me in the metro area. I keep hopeing that this situations wont work out for her but then feel guilty about beign so selfish that i'd wish something bad on her.

I got to my home office in a deeper funk and then found I cant finish my article, work on my book, or my Grad thesis. I'm too down and I just cant make myself work. I walked out to my truck to go for a drive and clear my head (I go out into the swamp land and drive fast) but my truck wont start. So I went for a walk and low and behold a rain storm started, I'm wet, cold, lonely and seriously depressed. I ran home and acidently smashed the last gift my late grandmother gave me, it was a glass sculpture copy of 'the thinker'. I'm sitting in my place watching the rain and lightining storm, guess the backgrounds appropriate at least.

For the last few months i've been in a funk. I've been assulated by a lot of stuff lately thats beyond my control. I've been flashing from angry to down. All the usual thing I do to pick me up aren't working. I just needed to vent a bit. I'm just sick fo all this crap, I want to find some gal I can be happy with, finish my damn thesis, and have a normal life.

I give up, i'm going to have a scotch.

I'm sorry I started laughing halfway through your story. I thought I was able to not have that nervous reaction anymore. What a string of incidents! It's like a bad movie. I can see why you feel bad. I'm not sure the scotch is going to help.

The scotch is just to provide a much needed mental break from it all, to step back from everything and calmly realize just how absurd life can be, and hopefully laugh.

Funny thing, rain. I love watching rain and the dark ominous clouds, listening to the sometimes gentle, sometimes unrelenting pitter-patter of the raindrops as they hit the roof or the ground, looking at the squirrels and the birds as they scurry for cover... the rain washing away all the dirt and smog from the past several days, quenching the thirst of parched plants, enabling them to bloom and reveal their greens and yellows and reds once again.

I needed a belt, I never drink more than one shot glass at a time.

I'm just down and tired of life. I'm tired of being shot down or passed over by everyone I meet.