My future is not mine to make

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I know that when we're younger, we're less able to be able to make our own choices in life.

But now that I'm in my mid-20s and I'm an adult...nothing has changed.

I never got to go to the schools I wanted to ever since I was 12. I wanted to go to the magnet schools for middle school and high school but I got rejected from both. Instead I was forced to succumb to my parents...ahem more like my family's...choices. And I honestly doubt that they even put some serious thought into these decisions before it was forced on me. No, it was not their dream to send me to Catholic school but it didn't stop them from thinking "oh Catholic school's great, it's safe and you'll get a great education" just because the public middle school in my area was considered too dangerous. My older sister (the one who got into magnet school) was teasingly envious of me going to Catholic School but in actuality they were all encouraging me to get on a bandwagon I didn't give one flying s**t about. Never mind the fact that I relentlessly teased and harrassed and insulted everyday by the kids in the Catholic School. When the first Catholic School was moving to a new location my parents came up with the "genius" idea of sending me to another Catholic School where the abuse was pretty much the same.

Little did I know this pattern would go on and on. We moved to another town in high school and my parents are endlessly bragging that "they did it all for me" (so I could go to a good high school). They didn't do a goddamn thing for me by moving to Carmel when they did. If they had the brains to move to Carmel during junior high (instead of blowing thousands of squandered dollars in non-parish student fees) then maybe I would've thank them because starting as a freshman in a high school with 3500 students without knowing a single person?...yeah mom and dad that's REALLY doing something for me! You're REALLY doing me a favor by having no one to sit with at lunch everyday...yeah....

Oh, looks like only one college in the entire state of Indiana would accept me (though Ball State is known for taking in anyone without much restriction). All my parents could do was brag and brag about how Ball State was a wonderful school.

The only thing that I ever got to do with my choice and succeeded at was getting the internship at DisneyWorld for a semester. Then again, anyone could get into that program and it doesn't really get you anything so I don't consider that a real accomplishment. The only two real jobs I could get after college were lousy jobs that I managed to get with my dad's help because he was working at the same facilities doing an even lousier job. He was practically speaking for me at one of the interviews.

Well now that I got fired from both of those jobs my family is now bragging about the next best thing...putting me in a vocational school to learn Medical Coding and Billing. Of course my sister is bragging about how I'll be thanking her after she dragged me to a admissions interview she arranged without my consent. They wouldn't let me in if I wasn't interested and guess what? I WASN'T INTERESTED IN ANYTHING TO DO WITH MEDICINE. Of course the recruiter was too much of an idiot to notice I clearly wasn't interested and I still got in! WTF?! So now my sister is acting like a snob telling me that I better get A's in all my classes and is taking all credit for getting me in and paying the $50 application fee for me despite my disinterest. Just wait till I don't get a job because the school I'm at isn't considered "credible"...ha! I don't even care anymore. I go to classes and just play with my Iphone the whole time and only do half the work, barely do homework at home and I still pass these classes. Though I really dont care if I even pass these classes. heh

Now that I put you through this rant, I hope you see the point I'm getting at. Becoming a Medical Coder is not my dream. My dreams in life had nothing to do with medecine or going to a catholic school or going to a lousy college. But my aspie limits have caused my path in life to NOT be my own and I fear it will never be. And all the decisions that my family claimed to have made for me wasnt even their lifelong dreams. It was just stupid luck and the fact that no other places would accept me and therefore the only places that would must be a "wonderful choice made by my parents".

I refuse to get married or have kids but I fear my family will force this on me anyways and then brag about what a "wonderful decision" they made...like with everything they claim to have done in my life so far. I wanted to move out of state but my dad refused to leave and I had no say in the matter even though it was strongly suggested that we would move for my sake. Now all he brags about is what a "wonderful decision" HE made to stay in Indiana.

My decisions mean nothing to my family nor will they ever be. Then again I cant blame them. I've been nothing but absorb in unrealistic dreams and expectations that often comes with being on the autistic spectrum that I will never grasp reality or attain realistic goals.

Stupid family making my future for me.

That's terrible.

I'm starting to understand your username.

Quite a horror tale. I hope you can define your goals and convince your family to go along with you.

But it may be hard for them to accept your preference for remaining single and not having children. I'm 40+ and still reguarly get comments from some family members about that.

Tell them that there's no demand for low level office workers anymore. Tell them that you'll get a certificate and NOT get hired, and $15k or so will be out the window, and what will they do then? Medical Billing is one of those professions that are mainly populated by young adult females who have two or three kids all by different men and desperately need money to feed their demon spawn, so they talk their way into a vocational school and get good enough grades to get a job at some sh*tty doctor's office that's dirty and the doctor is a loser who specializes in Medicaid patients, so you spend your days fighting with the government and still have to sell your body to make ends meet. And the women in question are too stupid to know that life doesn't have to be like that, but they had 3 kids by age 25, so options are limited. We're not talking high status here. And just wait until ObamaCare is rolled out. Nightmare city. If that's what they want for you, I suggest you buy a one way bus ticket to someplace that's FAR away from them.

tl;dr

I can relate to all of that.



Please don’t get any ideas I’m married and old enough to be your father.

Love and fatherly kisses.