Witness Protection daydream

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I keep having the daydream that I am the key witness to some kind of crime that would mean I would have to go into Witness Protection. To start afresh, somewhere new as someone new, with some assistance to get it all started, home, job etc. Preferably a different country, it would work as in terms of relatives I only have my mother.

It's sounds silly but I am so trapped financially and in terms of responsibilities. Sometimes I resent the fact that through hard work, many failures and ultra high stress levels I can pass near enough to normal (for a while) to have to shoulder my own responsibilities. And yet, if hadn't bothered, I know full well having been a brief visitor there that the psych ward at the community and mental health hospital is actually nicer than my home, without the fear of the next thing breaking that I can't afford to replace.

Makes me wish I hadn't tried so hard to sound functional on the disability forms, it's double edged in that I feel angry that other people with AS get full rate, because I belittled everything out of shame I don't and yet because of how I am I forget to eat, don't know what day it is and can't let people in the house even if i could afford the repairs that need doing and generally am a sham of a person. I put up a good pretence of functioning, but in reality I barely cope.

Sorry, pointless indulgance. Going through a bit of a low right now. So anyway, escape, does anyone else fantasise about it?

Of course.

But I think that there's a lot of people who daydream, and nightdream as well, to escape from their actual lives.
They just don't speak about it very much.

Oh yes. I've had that fantasy. Wired.com just had a story about how some people turn that fantasy into reality, and what happens when they do. The outcome is usually not good.

But the fantasy is. Nothing wrong with some imaginative escapism when things are tough.

I have a fantasy of buying a small cottage, close to the centre of the city. A one-bedroom cottage, with trees and an overgrown garden. (It would have to have insulation though).

And I would have enough money to be able to do what I liked. If anyone ever tried to tell me what to do, I would give them the fingers.

Escape fantasies and daydreams....all the freakin`time!! !