Anxious about going to stores

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Joe90
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18 Apr 2020, 7:32 pm

I'm OK with the small store I go to to get regular groceries but I get nervous about going to other stores I haven't been to yet since the lockdown started.
Like I will soon need to go to the pharmacy to get some more sleeping pills when I run out (they're not prescription and they're not actually sleeping pills, they're nausea pills that makes me drowsy, but don't worry I don't overuse them, they just calm me when I'm feeling really panicky so that I can get a full night's sleep). Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, so I haven't been to a pharmacy since the lockdown began and I can't get these pills anywhere else, but I'm not sure what the rules are on how to shop in a small pharmacy (drug store). A friend of mine (doesn't live near) said she went to a small pharmacy and it said on the door "no more than 2 people allowed" but she couldn't see through the window how many people were in there and there was nobody queuing, so she had to open the door and look inside. But somebody yelled across the shop "ONLY TWO PEOPLE IN AT A TIME PLEASE!! !!" which kind of startled my friend. I know they don't mean it personally but I have a thing about being yelled to suddenly, it puts me into a bad mood.

Also I will have to go to the pet supplies store as my rats will soon run out of food, bedding and pet-friendly cleaning supplies, but I don't know what the system is in the local pet supplies store either. Some stores allow people to come in freely and work the rules out for themselves, while other stores are stricter, and you can never tell until you go. I hate being bossed about by store clerks, everywhere feels like colditz. "Stand over there, don't go that way, is that essential?, use other door, one customer at a time, go away, stand back, look left, look right, jump up and down and sing and shout..."
It's all too intimidating. :(

ps. I don't shop online by the way and my boyfriend is self-isolating, and we don't have anyone available in our area to do these things for us.


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18 Apr 2020, 7:54 pm

you can ring the shop or check online what procedures they have in place



Noca
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18 Apr 2020, 7:58 pm

Stores where they limit the number of people in a store usually have someone outside working the front door. They need to have systems in place whether or not it offends anyone as their lives are on the line. You can try searching on Google maps the business that you want to go to and it will show how busy the store usually is and how busy it is at that current moment based on google location tracking data. Choose a time when the store is usually not busy or not currently busy. You can check it without having to go to the store itself. Just search for a business on Google maps and the popular times info should be below the store hours.



Joe90
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18 Apr 2020, 8:47 pm

While understanding why these new systems are in place and knowing not to take anything personally, I still get upset when being bossed because of my anxiety disorder; it makes me sensitive and tearful. Yes, I'm very emotionally weak. It's all part of having anxiety.

Hmm, ironically I prefer to go when there are more people because then I can easily copy what the others are doing without having to be told, unless some stores lift the restrictions a bit during less busy times. I'll have to do searching on the internet first, although sometimes the store websites don't always provide the information I need. Some store websites don't mention what procedures are in place.


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18 Apr 2020, 8:50 pm

Order ahead with the shops and arrange for curbside pickup, even if you're on foot.


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19 Apr 2020, 12:35 am

It might be time for you to reconsider shopping online. I'm not sure what your reasons are for not doing this, but society is changing. One thing I like about ordering my supplies online is that there are no people contacts. Stores in my area will do curbside pickup for online orders. We park near the store, phone to let them know we are there, and they put my groceries in the trunk of my car. That is much less exposure to other people than going into the store. Some stories also do home delivery, but that costs an additional fee.


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19 Apr 2020, 3:21 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:
Order ahead with the shops and arrange for curbside pickup, even if you're on foot.


Yeah, I had to got to the Co-Op round the corner for milk yesterday and saw that in operation: one of the shop staff carried everything out to the middle of the pavement ready packed in bags, and the guy picking up just had to lift them into his car.
Looked like a good option if you’ve got a lot to pick up (six bags in that case) and need/want to minimise unnecessary contact with other folks.



magz
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19 Apr 2020, 4:06 am

Can you send your boyfriend on the errand?
I leave shopping to my husband. On my turn, I manage kids and also garbage and other smelly stuff he can't stand. We both have sensory and social issues. Each picks the parts easier for them.


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envirozentinel
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19 Apr 2020, 5:14 am

^That won't work;she mentioned that her boyfriend is self isolating, being in a high risk group.

I prefer to shop at quieter times such as early in the morning.


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Joe90
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19 Apr 2020, 5:18 am

magz wrote:
Can you send your boyfriend on the errand?
I leave shopping to my husband. On my turn, I manage kids and also garbage and other smelly stuff he can't stand. We both have sensory and social issues. Each picks the parts easier for them.


My boyfriend is self-isolating because he is classed as a vulnerable person.

I've tried online, but it is impossible to get a slot, absolutely impossible. I also worry about hackers. I heard there are more scams and hackers than ever before because they know everybody are spending money online. Also my computer has a virus and I don't know how to fix it.
I'm not so worried about catching the virus, as I know how to keep my distance and I have gloves and face masks, I'm more worried about breaking a rule. I just want to go into a store and do everything right, but so far that hasn't been that simple. I got lost in a store the other week because I thought there was a different way out (as they were really rigid in there but there were no clearly marked arrows on the floor), and I ended up walking into a staff only area. I felt embarrassed when a man told me to go the other way, and he looked annoyed too.
These situations always make me anxious. It's just so overwhelming.


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envirozentinel
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19 Apr 2020, 5:23 am

It's a store management's duty to clearly mark entrances and exits. You did nothing wrong. Here,only supermarkets,food stores and pharmacies are currently open and most only allow 50 people in at a time. But no one is being bossed around. You just have a guard spraying your hands, then you do your shopping as usual. One of them has suspended the use of hand baskets and uses trolley only - perhaps for hygiene and to make distancing easier.


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magz
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19 Apr 2020, 5:29 am

So it's a "getting lost in a new situation" kind of thing.
Don't take the personnel annoyance personally, they also need to deal with a new, overwhelming situation, just like you.

If choosing more crowded hours makes it easier as you can just mimic the crowd - can you plan to choose such hours? Then, some calm-down tricks would be useful for long queue time.


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Joe90
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19 Apr 2020, 5:36 am

envirozentinel wrote:
It's a store management's duty to clearly mark entrances and exits. You did nothing wrong. Here,only supermarkets,food stores and pharmacies are currently open and most only allow 50 people in at a time. But no one is being bossed around. You just have a guard spraying your hands, then you do your shopping as usual. One of them has suspended the use of hand baskets and uses trolley only - perhaps for hygiene and to make distancing easier.


That's not the same here in the UK. Most stores only allow a very little amount of people in at a time, some stores only allow 2 or 3.

I'm not even sure you can buy non-prescribed pills from a local pharmacy online anyway, so sooner or later I'll have to go into a pharmacy to get them.
I've just been looking online and even the pet supplies stores are having high demand of online customers and that you'll be lucky to even get a slot in 2 weeks time, even for click and collect. Seeing how full all the delivery slots are makes me angry and I just give up. It's practically easier to just go to the store and get what you need.


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19 Apr 2020, 7:13 am

Joe90 wrote:
I've tried online, but it is impossible to get a slot, absolutely impossible.

Make an order up of things you usually need, then go ahead and schedule. It may be for 3 weeks away, but in three weeks you'll know you've already got groceries ready. More work now, less later.

Could your boyfriend help with the planning? Maybe he could track the dates and reorder needs? Or such. Share the load. Get him involved.

Joe90 wrote:
Also my computer has a virus and I don't know how to fix it.

Clean these off of your computer before doing anymore ordering, accessing bank accounts, or accessing other online payment things (like paypal).

If you're on Win 7 or newer, there's a built-in/downloadable free anti-virus program from Microsoft.
Win 7
Win 8 & 10

Also scan for malware.
Microsoft Safety Scanner
Malwarebytes <-- very well known & trusted malware scanner/remover

Joe90 wrote:
I also worry about hackers. I heard there are more scams and hackers than ever before because they know everybody are spending money online.

Easy ways to stay safer:
+ Always go to a shop or store's real website by typing it yourself into your browser.
+ Do not click on links in email. As above, always go an email's website by typing their address yourself.
+ Relatedly, don't call phone numbers in emails unless you've asked for one by using a contact us or such form on the actual store's website.
+ Use a credit card, not a debit card. A credit card won't remove money directly from your bank account like a debit card does. If you don't have a credit card, a prepaid credit card would work as well as long as it's from a major credit card company.



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19 Apr 2020, 8:09 am

Could you call or email the shops you need to go to in advance and ask what their policies are on how many people can be inside at once and what any other possible new rules they might have are? Or is there a friend/relative/anyone who could do the shopping for you if you gave them a list?



Joe90
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19 Apr 2020, 8:34 am

Fireblossom wrote:
Could you call or email the shops you need to go to in advance and ask what their policies are on how many people can be inside at once and what any other possible new rules they might have are? Or is there a friend/relative/anyone who could do the shopping for you if you gave them a list?


Please read the bolded bit in my OP.


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